Paris Hilton Kitty

Someone needs to buy one of these and have it sent to me. I want the doll. I have some Hello Kitty vibrators, so this would complete my set.

Mick Mars and Modest Mouse?

Reports are coming in that Mick Mars, former guitarist for Motely Crue, will be joining sort of indie "rockers" Modest Mouse.

Could be a hoax, but that's what this guy says.

Update: not a hoax, just wrong.

Greycat sez.
It's fucking JOHNNY MARR, from The The, Electronic and other assorted bands, but most notably the other half of one of the most amazing bands to ever write songs, the Smiths, who will be joining Modest Mouse. Does this guy just hear the name "marr" and automatically assume it's some retard from a shitty band?

Guess the butt!

These butts belong to two reasonably famous actresses. Can you guess who they are? Click for really big picture.

Roundup of things that don't really matter.

Janet Jackson poses topless on the cover of Vibe. Who hasn't seen that ugly wrinkled nipple by now? If you haven't seen it you can get it on ebay. Or at least thats the ad I got when I searched for it on google.

Janet Jackson Nipple
Whatever you're looking for
you can get it on eBay.
www.eBay.com

It seems the Hollywood elite have chosen sides on Mel Gibson. Skins vs. foreskins it looks like.


Fred Savage had a baby. Well, he didn't have it, but some woman he presumably had sex with did. No, Winnie isn't the mother. Let's hope they name it something sensible. I'm thinking Bonanza Savage.

German scientists have invented an "anti-stupid" pill. Let's see who can be the first to slip it in Paris Hiltion's champagne.


Cops found a stolen donut truck, really, really, fast.

Tom Cruise sucks

Which is something I've known for a long time. Now everyone else is starting to realize it.

The 44-year-old actor is eager to get back to work to put behind him disappointments such as Mission Impossible: III, but last week his 13-year deal with the Paramount studio was allowed to lapse. Executives say Cruise faces a “financial adjustment and reality check” before he can continue his illustrious career.

That's right, World, I'm 5 years ahead of you, yet again.

Pink PP

I'm not sure when these pics were taken. I'd say it was from before she "made it". You can tell it's Pink from the wrist tatoo.

Let this be a warning to you ladies. If you become famous people take pictures of you pissing.

It's the end of the world!

Paris Hilton gave up sex!



Although it may just be that she thinks the word 'celibate' is the name of some new religion. Maybe she mispronounced 'kabbalah'.

Joe Pesic: Hiphop King

Joe has done a rap video. It's the bitches that getya.





Did he just say he killed two girls and left them floating in a pond?

It came from Kontraband originally, looks like.

New Game: Guess that drug!

Here's a new game I'm starting for the site. The winner will get a free t-shirt.*

Our constestant is the young Mrs. Britney Spears-Federline. Watch this video and guess what drug she's on!


Here's my guess.

It's beer and xanax or klonipin or something. You can tell it's beer from the burping. And living in Alabama, and knowing this kind of over-privileged redneck chick, I know what drugs they do these days. Every chick like that is on some sort of anti-depressant Zoloft or Paxil. Then they supplement that with oxycontin, lorcet or xanax, valium. But, if it was a painkiller then her jaw wouldn't hurt.

She probably just took a xanabar and about 3 beers. Anymore beer than that with the xanax and she wouldn't be vertical.

Could have been pot and beer, too.
















*{The t-shirts haven't actually been printed yet so you'll have to wait an indefinate amount of time to recieve one. But if and when the t-shirts get made, you'll get a free one.}

Mandy Moore

Here's Mandy looking like a poor, lesbian, college student. Check out them highwaters.

Rob Schneider takes on Mel Gibson.

That idiot really likes taking out full page ads in Variety. Here's the latest.


Dear Rob,

You're an idiot.

Thanks,

Maxwell Hammer

p.s. Please stop making those stupid damn movies.

Condi, Condi, Condi

Condoleeza Rice just before she lept on a reporter from the New York Times and ate his liver.




Evil lookin' bitch ain't she?

Oh, how times have changed

Yesterday Victoria Beckham ditched the tacky weaves. Well, today they're back. Tackier than ever. Before they at least looked like real hair. Now they look like they're made out of rayon.

Lemon Lime Windows

I usually don't do tech news here, but this is so astoundinly lame I had to put it up.

Microsoft has a Windows Vista soft drink available for employees.

Special-edition cans of Talking Rain sparkling water, sporting the logo for the upcoming operating system, have been stocked among the other free sodas available to the company's employees. It's a promotion for the preliminary version of the program, pointing employees to an internal Windows Vista site.

"Talking Rain" is also dumb. Does the soda talk?

J-Lo too good for Dallas

Jenny from the block has quit the movie remake of Dallas.

The Enough star has pulled out of the now slightly less star-studded big screen remake of the '80s TV hit, with nary an explanation regarding her departure.

"She is out of Dallas," Lopez's publicist, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick, said Thursday, denying reports that her client's exit was abrupt but declining to shed light on her decision to cut and run.

Please movie people just admit that you have run out of ideas. Why else would you be making movie versions of 80's tv shows?

Paris Hilton Sez

"Who's Tony Blair?"

Yes, Paris, we would all like to know that.

The hotel heiress said she would not recognise the British Prime Minister. Asked by GQ magazine if she fancied Tony Blair, a confused Hilton replied: "Who?"

After giving it some thought she said: "Oh yeah... he's like your president?" Then she admitted: "I don't know what he looks like."

But she did agree to have sex with him as soon as she get's to the "B" section of the London phone book.

Lindsay Lohan Boxing in a Bikini

Does she even have any other clothes? Every day there are new pics of her skinny freckled ass in a different bikini.

She's getting into shape so she can beat down Paris Hilton.

Marie Osmond Suicide Attempt

She says it was just a bad reaction.

Marie Osmond was hospitalized for a bad reaction to medication, a spokeswoman said Wednesday, denying reports that the singer had attempted suicide.


"She basically had an adverse reaction to some medication she was taking and she blacked out," spokeswoman Amy Hawkes said.

Remember, people, if they have to deny it, you can be sure it's true.

Quickies...

Don Johnson says, 'You tell Colin Farrell when he's through with my jock strap to give it back.'"

Victoria Beckham ditched the weave.


Shannen Doherty attempts to start a beef with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

One of the crazy chicks on The View suggests Mel Gibson do penance by having a public circumcision. She just wants to see his johnson.

Are you a big slut?

Then you need to be in the Pussycat Dolls!

The soon-to-launch CW network has ordered eight episodes of the reality competition The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll, pitting wannabes against each other for the chance to be named the seventh member of the "Don't Cha" pop group.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be like a reality show version of Spice World?