Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Scientology Muder Scandal?

Some are saying the apparent double suicide of Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan was, it is alleged, an assassination carried out by the Church of Scientology against a couple who caused them too much trouble.

Blake did an album cover for noted Scientologist Beck several years ago and that is it is rumored the Scientology harassment began. Some even whisper that Beck himself gave the order that the couple would convert or be killed.

Karin Pouw, a spokeswoman for the Church of Scientology, denied the allegations, saying, "Never heard of these people. This is completely untrue."

80's music

The Post Punk Progressive Pop Partyis a blog dedicated to posting clips and events from "On this date in 80s music history."

Yesterday was, "Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five - The Message".

Thursday, July 26, 2007

5 Hottest News Chicks

Once we had to deal with three networks and had no choice but to look at Dan Rather. Now we get a pleasant stream of gorgeous women with great cleavage and short skirts.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Jessica Alba is single....

and you'll still never be with her.


LIfe during wartime

Israeli girls buying ice cream while on break from army duties.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan busted, blah, blah, blah

The most interesting thing about all of this is I found out her middle name is Dee.

Lindsay Dee Lohan. It's so white trash, don't you think?

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Monday, July 16, 2007

The one who was foretold, he has come

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This mysterious symbol was found next to the Giant of Wessex. Our savior has come!

A bunch of pagans are pissed that it's next to their giant naked man with an erect penis. They feel that it somehow degrades the nudity, or something.

Don't you think the ancient people put that up as a joke? It was probably some drunk stoneage teens who did the equivalent of climbing up on the water tower and painting a big dick. And now that big dick is historical.

I think the drunken teens who made it would have worshipped Homer Simpson as a god.


Saturday, July 14, 2007

I don't care what anyone says...

Suri Cruise is Asian. Look at this kids face. There's no way Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes could have had that baby unless one of them has a mother that's Asian.

The Scientologists stole that child from someone and gave it to Tom. It really wouldn't surprise me if that child is the Anti-Christ.

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FCC Gone Wild!

The latest is WPIX New York, which the FCC says has to pay a $15,000 fine for violating its limits on TV advertising in kids shows eight times.
via BroadcastNewsroom

The Pokemon character appeared in a commercial that ran during the Pokemon show. The FCC says that turns the whole show into an ad. Which isn't illegal, per se, but it does mean that the station went over the limit on time.

Or, they could just stop hassling the kids. The government doesn't so much want to protect the children, it just wants to meddle. If a kid is too poor to eat and can't read, that doesn't matter. Just don't let them watch tv we don't approve of!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Teh intarwebs is a bunch of tubes!

It's not a truck!

Now the crazy old man from Alaska, Ted Stevens wants to switch providers while he's on his motorcycle. from whatever.

I thought this was cute

Yeah, it's done with cgi. But it's funny. Not safe for work.

Here's the code. If you copy and paste it to your website it will figure out the city the visitor is from and send them a message.
<a href=";id=nyxxxx&t=best&ad_id=citybanner-300x250_1"><img src="" border="1" height="250" width="300" />

I really don't think this is true....

But I have some sort of duty to report the news.

Heh, I said dooty.

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - METALLICA Guitarist Says His Pet Dog Was Penetrated By Next-Door Neighbor: "Hammett explains: 'I went to my neighbor's. The guy took down his pants and started having sex with the dog! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. When he got up, I just took the dog and left. She was still wagging her tail.'"

Charlie Sheen's bling

Celebrity Gossip Blog: The Daily Blabber from iVillage Entertainment: "Charlie and Mrs. Sheen-to-be, Brooke Mueller, took a quick trip to Costa Rica for a little R&R, when the actor presented her with, what he called, a 'Welcome to Costa Rica' gift. Out came a bling watch, with this engraved on the back:

'B. - Wanna get married? . . . Love - C.'"

See, Charlie won it from a guy named Chris in a poker game. He didn't know it had that engraved on it until the bitch turned it over and saw it! Man, him and the girls at the brothel are all going to laugh about this when he finally dumps her ass!

Star Jones coming to CourtTV

Court TV is adjourning in favor of truTV. The network on Wednesday announced its name would change, effective Jan.

It's because they hired Star Jones and she don't like all that legal stuff. It hurts her head. So they're going to turn it into yet another women's channel.
via MyFOX Atlanta

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Is Beyonce a Roboho?

TMZ RESPONDS TO SHARPTON’S ‘ROBOHO’ LETTER: He's the latest to site’s description of Beyonce outfit. - Topix

All Sharpton is mad at TMZ because someone over there called Beyonce a Roboho for wearing this outfit.
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Come on, Al. Look what she's wearing. She's dressed like a robot whore. Aren't you a preacher? I think you should be coming down on Beyonce for dressing like that.

Dear Hollywood, please stop

They are remaking Footloose. It was a really stupid movie the first time around. It was only big because of the great soundtrack and marketing. At the time every week there was a new song from Footloose being played on the radio, months before the movie even came out. If it hadn't been for that it would have gone the way of Crazy For You. Remember that? With Adrienne Barbeau as the older seductress? No, you don't. You probably remember the Madonna song of the same name.

Here's the formula for crazy success in Hollywood.

Make a bad movie that's ripping off some other old movie. Add a soundtrack. Get nostalgic idiots to turn it into a cult film. Then have someone make it an all singing, all dancing Broadway Musical. Then make that into a movie.

Here's a few examples.
Little Shop of Horrors, Xanadu, Hairspray, and now Footloose. There are other examples but I'm too stoned to think of them right now.

It's just a matter of time before they make Friday the 13th a musical. Or maybe they did already, I wasn't paying attention.

I just thought this was weird and cool

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Here's an old KFC commercial.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Something strange from Japan

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this commercial is. But the moral seems to be, breasts are dangerous.

Simpsons Officially Vermonters - Vt. Town Named 'Simpsons' Official Home: "(AP) SPRINGFIELD, Vt. It's Duff time in Springfield, Vt., which on Tuesday was proclaimed the official hometown of TV's favorite dysfunctional family, the Simpsons."

I always figured they were from Missouri. There's a lot of rednecks, there, like Cletus and family. But it's not the south because they don't have accents. Plus, how can they be from Vermont? There aren't any trees in the cartoon. No one ever says anything about maple syrup, either.

Top 5 sexy vids of all time, maybe NSFW

How do you go about rating what it the sexiest video clip of all-time? Sexy seems to be a perception and changes from one to the next. YouTube and its many spin off clones have given us the format to identify the top five based upon ratings and most viewed. From there we also took into account how long the video clip has been in circulation, which is the lasting factor. Some video clips gain viral fame in a matter of weeks and are forgotten. Others however are timeless and have carried on long since their post. So let us get on with the countdown. #5 Porn Stars’ Favorite Positions - watch it now This is a wonderful collection of interviews outside the Erotica LA convention. The most sexed up women in the world are forced to name one position that is their favourite. The answers are jaw dropping to say the least. One starlet explains how the only panties she ever owned was ripped off by the guy she was trying to impress and she has never bought another pair. She went on to say that her favorite position was face down, bound hands behind her back, with a ball in her mouth, and no blindfold because she like to see what is going on.
#4 Suicide Girls – watch it now These girls sure do know how to put on a show. Up to the point when I saw this video, my experience with the Suicide Girls was an episode of CSI Miami. After watching this I have found a new attraction to girls in goth with tattoos. It was hard to watch this video clip twenty or thirty times without developing some type of fetish. It is amazing the type of wardrobes you can make out of just a few strips of black electrical tape. #3 Hot Girls Kissing – watch it now Here is a video clip of video clips. Some random guy put together this masterpiece one late night on his computer. This guy turned god has given us mere mortals a gift. One part Howard Stern, two parts Jenna J, and one part Jenna Haze makes for a happy boy any time of the day. #2 Ginger vs. Mary Ann Pie Fight – watch it now This one has an appeal that cuts through generations of men. Your grandfather will love this because of his personal fantasies dating back to when Gilligan’s Island was the most watched television show on land or sea. It was first part of a commercial for a reality show, and then it was released on the internet and took on a life of its own. #1 Miller Lite Catfight – watch it now It is only fitting that an extended version of a beer commercial comes it at number one. Thirty years ago the advertising executives figured out what beer drinkers like to watch and super bowl commercials have never been the same. The simple man loves to see hot girls with large breasts. A few years ago they decided to put it over the top with two of the hottest girls on the planet having a cat fight in the middle of the city. Hopefully this will someday be in the top 5 greatest article of all time.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Fish Heads

Rolly polly Fish heads
Are never seen drinking
Cappacino in Italian restaurants
With Oriental women...Yeah

When I was a kid they showed this on MTV. Everyone talked about it. It was mythical. But they might only show it once a month at 3 in the morning, or 1 in the afternoon. But they showed it for several years. I think they did it as a joke. But it became a prototypical cultural meme at our school. For at least a year there someone would break out and sing it.

I only ever saw the actual video once. It's actually weirder than I thought.

Rachal Ray's Divorce

RAY OF HOPE? | | Gossip - New York Post Online Edition

It seems that Rachael Ray will soon be single.

Yeah, I'm shining up the old brown shoes and putting on a brand new shirt for that one. I'm sure she'll date me! If I just believe hard enough!

Here's pics of her third nipple, a nipslip and assorted other Rachael Ray hotness.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

London, England - In what Christians everywhere are calling a "victory for Jesus' love," Bloomsbury Publishing has capitulated, in the face of countless death threats from angry Christian school children, their parents and a prominent garden club in Hertfordshire, and announced that it will edit out several lurid lines from an explicit anal sex scene between a coquettish and greased-up Harry Potter and a very drunk, opportunistic Rubeus Hagrid in the final J.K. Rowling Book, "The Deathly Hallows."

Thank God!

Now maybe we can get on with what Harry Potter is really about, corrupting children into our satanic witchcraft church!

Is Nicole Richey a genius?

Amanda Guinzburg: Weighting For Nicole - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "It's about Nicole Richie. I have to be honest with you. I think Nicole Richie might be some kind of genius performance artist. How else do you explain the fact that she manages to use her single teensy body to contain the entire pop-culture zeitgeist?"

My take,, she's just lucky. But it's an interesting theory. I used to think Nicole was prettier than Paris before the girl got all spooky skinny. I likes my wimmen with some meat!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth

Who cares? It's not like anyone good will actually be there. And, yes, I'm including the Police. Their show at Bonnaroo sucked. There's a reason some bands are meant to break up.


Britney dating her AA sponsor

Britney's AA Counselor Confirms They're Dating - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "AA counselor John Sundahl claims he is dating Britney Spears.

The recovered alcoholic says Britney chatted him up at their Alcoholics Anonymous meetings before asking him out more than two months ago."

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.

That's really agains the rules in AA. I would care, but hell, I'm stoned right now!

Here's a quote about violating "The 13th Step".

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.

Clearly, playing fast and loose with another person’s life is irresponsible and reprehensible.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog: "The 34-year-old, who insists he doesn't 'smoke weed', tells Playboy magazine, 'Two white teenagers came to my house. I don't get too much company, so I looked out the peephole. I was in my housecoat. I had a do-rag on my head. They said, 'We're your neighbors. Do you want to smoke some weed?' Then they started quoting from Friday. 'It's Friday. You ain't got no job! You ain't got s--- to do!' So I've got neighbors' kids knocking on my door, looking to smoke weed with Smokey.'"

Wow, it's so much like my life. Anyone want to come over and smoke a bowl?

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Kim Kardashian's Butt

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This has gone way beyond the point where she has a big, beautiful, sexy butt, and to the point where I think she has some kind of ass cancer.

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News: "The deputies said they smelled marijuana and searched the car, Amormino said. They found less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, which is used for attention deficit disorder, he said."

Shouldn't be any problem, can't someone just pardon him like they did Libby? Oh, wait, he's a Democrat, not a republican. I guess that means he's going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

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Shot at 2007-07-04

Warning to the people of Maryland, keep your kids locked up!

Jackson scouts Maryland vacation homes - Yahoo! News: "WASHINGTON - Michael Jackson has been hunting for real estate on Maryland's Eastern Shore as he searches for a vacation home, a publicist for the pop star said."

If he doesn't see any young boys he'll move somewhere else. So keep your kids hidden, unless they're girls, then he doesn't care.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

S-Jo gets a nose ring

Hollywoodtuna » Blog Archive » Scarlett Johansson Gets A Nose Ring. No Longer “The Sexiest Woman Alive”

Why does seeing this make me have bad thoughts about attaching a leash to it? I still think she's hot. It just gives me something to lead her around on. You know Scarlett is totally freaky like that. Non-freaky chicks don't get nose rings.

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Christina Aguilera pregnant

And apparently Batman is the dad!

Aguilera's Father Confirms Pregnancy - "And insiders claim the pregnancy is not a big surprise for the 26-year-old singer and husband Jordan Bratman."

Hate mail

I'm getting hate mail with conflicting messages. Maybe she's got some sort of weird dyslexia. I would say it's NSFW, but who's at work in this week? Besides me, that is.

Britney Spears, shopping for a puppy

She's not wearing a bra, or panties while doing this. And she already has a kid at home she can't take care of. Maybe she should buy a sheepdog and then it could watch the kid. At least someone responsible would be there.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sugarcubes video for Motorcrash

There's just something plain scary about Bjork driving. I know I wouldn't ride with her.

YouTube - Sugarcubes - Motorcrash

Jennifer Love Hewitt's dress...

Is she a nurse or is she a sailor? She has nurses shoes and the dress looks like an old-fashioned nurse, but anchor and sailing motif make her look like a sailor. Maybe she's supposed to be a nurse on a boat?

Hurley dresses son in bikini for shoot | Entertainment

Hurley dresses son in bikini for shoot | Entertainment: "LIZ Hurley was forced to withdraw this image from her website after being accused of exploiting her son for financial gain by dressing him up in a PINK BIKINI for a photoshoot."

And apparently it's pissed off everyone in Australia.

It's just a little outfit, people. It doesn't make you gay.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007

Diana concert

British princes honor Diana with concert - Yahoo! News: "Harry, 22, said they asked Elton John to play 'Candle in the Wind,' the song he sang at Diana's 1997 funeral in Westminster Abbey. Originally about Marilyn Monroe, its lyrics were reworked in tribute to Diana and it became a worldwide No. 1 hit that same year."

And you know what? I've never cared. She was bug-eyed and inbred ugly like a corgi dog.