Thursday, May 31, 2007
If someone held a gun to your head and said you had to have sex with either Britney, Paris or Lindsay, which would you choose? And not back when they were hot and disease free, but now.
Britney has cleaned herself up since this last pic, but still....she's got kids. You might end up being a stepdaddy to Cletus Jr. *shudder*
Paris still looks pretty good, and doesn't often go around covered in vomit....but every says she has herpes. And she'll definitely have crabs, not to mention bedbugs, after she gets out of Jail.
And then there is Lindsay. Well, she's special, isn't she? They're going to start making her ride around in the short yellow limosine and get her a helmet so she doesn't hit her head after she passes out from snorting Jack Daniels. But, she's got all the best drugs. I'm sure she could come up with some combo of viagra and MDMA that would keep you hard for a week.
So which one would you choose. And yes, ladies, this applies to you as well.
fan of expensive yachts. His latest model has
an ultra high-tech sound system. A top sound
technician was brought in to test it before
the Sheikh took possession. He picked out a
tune on his iPod to see how everything sounded.
Without thinking he chose Jimmy Buffett's Why
Don't We Get Drunk (And Screw). Since that
day, the technician's work for the upstanding
Dubai ruler and his teetotal, religious
boat crew appears to have dried up.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Lohan "admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility" on Monday, according to a statement released by her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnick. The statement added, "Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility."
Hah! Yeah, that's gonna happen. Because it's serious everyone is just going to act mature and adult and leave her alone.
George Michael Faces June 8 Sentencing | The Huffington Post
LONDON — George Michael, who has pleaded guilty to driving while unfit, had several drugs in his system when he was arrested, a court heard Wednesday.
Tests showed the 43-year-old singer had taken a therapeutic quantity of an antidepressant as well as gamma-hydroxybutyrate, or GHB, Prosecutor Andrew Torrington told Brent Magistrates' Court in London.
Isn't this about the third time he's been arrested for sleeping in a parked car? Why doesn't he call a cab?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Director Mike Figgis Detained for Threatening to "Shoot a Pilot" - Cinematical
No, it's not a pollock joke, the Poles are really worried about the Teletubbies being gay. Now that Falwell is dead I suppose someone has to pick up his cross.
Poland probes gay Teletubbies | The Register
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Using videos posted on the YouTube Web site, Clinton has asked viewers to vote for a campaign song, with the winner to be picked soon. More than 130,000 votes have been cast since mid-May, the campaign said.
The finalists are "Suddenly I See," by K.T. Tunstall, "Rock This Country!" by
Shania Twain, "Beautiful Day" by U2, "Get Ready" by The Temptations and Smash Mouth's cover of the
Neil Diamond song "I'm a Believer."
I suggest Nasty, by Janet Jackson. Works on a couple of levels. Like this, "I just want some respect (that's right)
So close the door if you want me to respond (ooh ooh yeah)
'Cause privacy is my middle name
My last name is Control".
Campaign tunes not so simple in campaigns - Yahoo! News
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday after her convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believe is cocaine at the scene, police said.
Lohan, 20, and two other people were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 when it crashed on Sunset Boulevard around 5:30 a.m., Sgt. Mike Foxen said. It appeared the actress was speeding, Lt. Mitch McCann said at an afternoon news conference.
Ok, I've got this great idea for a reality show. Lindsay and Paris are cell mates in a women's prison...
Update: Now they say they might have found cocaine on the scene. Oh, this is the best story, ever! Now if she could just have OJ driver her around, running from the cops in a bronco.
They had to recast Princess Leia. Source.
Uhmm....how did they fit? How big was this ark? What did they do with all the poo?
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
It really turns the tables and gets them all confused and mixed up.
Kahimi Karie and Momus with Lolitapop Dollhouse! (Yes, I know it's several years old but they didn't have Youtube in them days!)
Or maybe it is.
Police spotted Faustino, 33, and his 31-year-old wife, Andrea, at an intersection on May 11. Faustino reportedly tried to climb out the car window, then opened the door.
The actor tried to walk away when police confronted the couple; the officer smelled alcohol on Faustino's breath and found a plastic bag with a gram of marijuana in his pocket, police said.
Faustino was arrested, booked into Volusia County jail and released the same day on his own recognizance.
He filed for divorce in February from his wife in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences.
"Married With Children" ran on the Fox network from 1987 to 1997.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Well, I thought they were bats, but I've got Blackhawks hovering over my head. So you know that either I'm really stoned, really crazy, or there is some heavy shit going down.
Or possibly all three.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
The Prototypes. Helps if you understand French, though. But it's not like anyone ever listens to lyrics anyway.
I'd tell you to buy the cd and give you the amazon link to it, but who are we kidding? We both know you're just going to download it. That's what I did.
It's ok to be a pirate.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
|From:|| Travis |
|Date:||May 19, 2007 6:04 PM|
|Subject||does anybody ELSE wanna take down Macy's|
|Body:||I get about 400 offers for "$500 Free Macy's Gift cards" a day on myspace.|
...Is it just me? have they figured out that me, Travis Junior, is a sucker for a white sale? Especially at Macy's.
Reno ain't even got a Macy's. i ain't never stepped foot in one. And i am so damn sick of their damn $500 Free Gift Card offers - I'm about ready to take a deuce in a tupperware and mail it to macy's.
I got an idea.
If every single one of us spends the week telling every single one of our myspace friends to sign up for a gift card at the same time. Say -- June 1rst, at 9:00 mountain time --
then every single one of us used our gift card on the same day -- say June 7th -- you think we could bankrupt macy's.
it's possible, right?
mind you -- this is maybe the whippets talking... but it sounds like it Could work.
Friday, May 18, 2007
PARIS WARNED: SAY HI TO HELL - Pagesix - New York Post Online Edition: "'New York's No. 1 Escort' and spent 26 days at Rikers Island. 'It's the worst experience of your life - you're locked up, the food is disgusting and everybody wants to be your friend, but in the end they just want to [bleep] you,' McLennan, who is now a stylist at a top Montreal spa, told Page Six."
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
It's fine for the commoners to risk their lives for their country, but apparently it's just not done among the royals. He had fun prancing about in camo and playing with tanks, but now he doesn't want to die.
"Oh Mummy", said, throwing himself on the Queen's wrinkled old lap. "I don't wish to play army anymore! But if I quit everyone will say I'm a coward. Whatever shall I do?"
"Don't worry my poppet" said the wise old Queen. "I'll have some general or colonel take the blame for it. We can't have people who matter die over something as silly as oil!"
"Oh thank, you granmama! Can I go dress as a Nazi, now?"
"Why of course. I think there are some of your grandfather's SS outfits in the closet. Go see if they fit. They were a little too big for your brother."
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Man, those things are beautiful. Let me tell you little boys something, there's no sex like pregnant sex, especially when you know the kid isn't yours. It's like having sex and getting a blowjob at the same time.
Suck on them titties and get that milk before that baby does!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Dearborn lets cop quit without a drug charge in marijuana brownie case: "His wife, Stacy Sanchez, admitted to police investigators that on another occasion she removed cocaine from her husband's police cruiser -- drugs purportedly earmarked to train police dogs -- and used it during a three-week binge. She, too, has not been charged criminally. Dearborn Police Cmdr. Jeff Geisinger left a phone message with Free Press reporting partner WDIV-TV Local 4 saying Sanchez resigned during an internal investigation. Geisinger did not return subsequent calls asking why Sanchez was not prosecuted."
TACOMA — A Pierce County jury has acquitted a man accused of having sex with the family dog.
Michael Patrick McPhail, 26, of Spanaway, was found not guilty Wednesday in Pierce County Superior Court of first-degree animal cruelty.
Assistant Pierce County Prosecutor Karen Watson said last fall that McPhail was the first person charged in the county under a new state law that made bestiality a felony.
"I'm glad that justice was able to see it wasn't an action of my doing," McPhail said as he left the court building.
He said he believes his wife made up the story because she is seeking to end their marriage.
It was Jesika McPhail who contacted police and told them she'd caught her husband engaged in sexual intercourse with their pit bull, Sara, last October. Jesika McPhail was not immediately available for comment about the verdict.
The case generated outrage among animal welfare advocates across the globe, many of whom called for McPhail to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Deputy Prosecutor Brian Leech, who tried the case, said he was disappointed.
"Obviously, I thought the facts were more than sufficient to merit a conviction," Leech said. "The defense was able to introduce some evidence about strife in the marriage. I don't think that was supported, but apparently the jury gave it some weight."
The new law, which took effect last June, was prompted by a case in which a Seattle man died after having sex with a horse. Before the law was enacted, Washington was among roughly a dozen states where bestiality had not been explicitly prohibited.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Paris Hilton Going to Jail for 45 Days | The Huffington Post: "As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton's mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton then blurted out: 'May I have your autograph?'"
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thursday, May 03, 2007
hands and feet of celebrities:
* Most disgusting pig-like star? Sienna Miller.
- fingernails "like a tramp", and athlete's foot.
* Most surprising defects? Liz Hurley
"appalling cracked heels".
* Most perfectly manicured? Nancy dell'Ollio
"Hands and feet so good she could do my nails".
'And it's 'breathe' because?' asked DeGeneres.
'I forget to breathe sometimes,' Lohan replied."
I Watch Stuff! - Hermione's Breasts Grow in 3-D Transfer: "Perverts at PosterWire have determined, after careful, repeated examination, that Hermione's figure has been made more curvaceous for the IMAX version of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix poster. "