Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Rap is dead

Here's proof that it's dead. Ms Peaches Getto Fried Chicken.

New rap problem: criticism from within - Yahoo! News: "Rap insider Chuck Creekmur, who runs the leading Web site, says he got a message from a friend recently 'asking me to hook her up with some Red Hot Chili Peppers because she said she's through with rap. A lot of people are sick of rap ... the negativity is just over the top now.'

The rapper Nas, considered one of the greats, challenged the condition of the art form when he titled his latest album 'Hip-Hop is Dead.' It's at least ailing, according to recent statistics: Though music sales are down overall, rap sales slid a whopping 21 percent from 2005 to 2006, and for the first time in 12 years no rap album was among the top 10 sellers of the year. A recent study by the Black Youth Project showed a majority of youth think rap has too many violent images. In a poll of black Americans by The Associated Press and AOL-Black Voices last year, 50 percent of respondents said hip-hop was a negative force in American society."

Boston Police blow up traffic counter

The Boston pd are so paranoid that they've started blowing up city property because it's suspicious.

Pretty soon they'll be blowing up electrical transformers, mailboxes, other police cars....all of those things are suspicious to someone.
MyFox Boston | Suspicious Package Found in Boston

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Models exposed to hep A?

Celebrity partygoers exposed to Hep A - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Sports Illustrated bash for its annual swimsuit issue has turned into a health scare for stars in Hollywood after a caterer working for celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck may have exposed them to acute Hepatitis A."

Except they all forget that models don't eat. Now if someone had got hep A in the coke, then we would have a problem.

Jessica Biel without a bra

Jenna Jameson looks like crap

Hey, darling, try to stay out of the sun before it eats your face off. from the superficial.

MC Router

Check out the music on her myspace.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Suze Orman is a lesbian

Hmmm....I did not know that.

'NYT' SUNDAY PREVIEW: Suze Orman Reveals She is the '55-year-old Virgin': "Orman says she 'has a relationship with life,' so Solomon presses her, and Suze then reveals that her 'life partner' is Kathy Travis and, 'We're going on seven years. I have never been with a man in my whole life. I'm still a 55-year-old virgin.' "

So if you've never had sex with men but you've had sex with women that makes you a virgin?

If you are a gay man and have never had sex with a woman, but have with another man, does that make you a virgin?
If you never had sex with a man or a woman, but let a horse have anal sex with you, are you still a virgin?

I'm just wondering....

Jack Black has reproduced and is proud.

Here's the other guy. Wouldn't you hate to be him? Just known for being Jack's buddy?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

You ain't no betta!

!! omg blog !!

To Kate Pierson from the B-52's.

This was a comment I left on Kate's myspace.

In my head you and my first girlfriend are all mixed up. For one thing, she looked like you, she was a redheaded southern girl. She gave me several of the B-52's tapes back in 89. And one night, we made love in a gravel parking lot between a church of christ and a graveyard while listening to Cosmic Thing. She sang the lyrics to Junebug with while she was taking off her bra. Sort of like a lapdance.

When we broke up she took all of the tapes back.

I miss that girl. I bought all the cd's on my own, later.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a dork

.....with big boobies.

She says, "I got lots of those (offers to take off her clothes). But I can't. It's just not me. I feel like there's still a world full of people out there who think there's not much more to me than the girl who can wear tiny tops. So if I had actually gone and done those things (shedding the tiny top) to try to prove something, where would I be? I want to be a dork! It's fun to be goofy and silly."

Anna Nicole's body given to the baby

Smith to Be Buried Near Son in Bahamas | The Huffington Post: "FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Anna Nicole Smith will be buried in the Bahamas, alongside her dead son, it was announced Thursday after a tearful judge left the decision up to the attorney for the model's baby daughter.

Richard Milstein, the court-appointed lawyer for 5-month-old Dannielynn, announced the plans not long after a judge gave him control of Smith's final resting place. He gave no timeframe for the burial.

"Who is entitled to custody of the remains of Anna Nicole Smith?" Seidlin wrote in his ruling. "There can be only one proper and equitable answer to that question: Dannielynn, Anna Nicole Smith's only child, heir and next of kin.""

Britney goes crazy, attacks suv with umbrella

Brit doesn't seem to understand that when you are in a custody battle you don't attack your ex's SUV.

At this point I'm starting to think that K-Fed would be the better father of the children. At least he wouldn't beat them with an umbrella. Sure, he's white trash and probably smells like Budweiser and cigs...but who's father didn't?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Bjork/Diddy mashup gif

mudd up! » archive » BJORKDIDDY.GIF

Ha ha, the 80's are funny

YouTube - PoP! Goes My Heart - Music & Lyrics

Here's Hugh Grant pretending to be half of Wham!.

Paris gets snubbed at birthday party

No one showed up, not even Nicole Richey. Even she's too good for Paris, now. But she had fun anway, "guests reported seeing Hilton play with a monkey while a band of midgets led a pack of goats around the room."

PARIS LOSES IN B-DAY BATTLE - Pagesix - New York Post Online Edition:

Britney Goes Insane

It's great, I take a long weekend off from the internet and Brit picks that weekend to go batshit insane. She cut off her hair, got some tatoos, and now I'm hearing she joined some sort of cult.

Sources say that Brit has become involved with the Reverend Alin Kimberlin. The pastor was reportedly involved with the Rev. Jim Jones before the Jonestown incident and also with David Koresh before Waco.

Now he's become the "preacher to the stars". He was supposedly an adviser to Dave Chapelle when he quit his tv show and fled the US for South Africa.

Now he has his hooks into Britney and will be her life coach.

I finally figured it out. Britney has become a Space Monkey. She watched Fight Club, where they shaved their heads and got scars of lips on their hand. She's done the same thing! She's becoming Tyler Durden!

Tim Hardaway and George Takei answer to Tim

YouTube - Jimmy Kimmel Tim Hardaway and George Takei answer to Tim

Sulu loves your large, chocolatey head, glazed in mansweat.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Good news everyone! The Doors travesty is finally dead.

On the one had, it's good that the Cult are getting back together.

"Doors" singer Astbury hangs up leather pants - Yahoo! News UK: "Click to enlarge photo
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Rock singer Ian Astbury has quit the Doors revival band formed by two of the legendary group's members, and will resurrect his old combo the Cult, he said on Thursday.

Astbury convincingly filled the late Jim Morrison's shoes in Riders on the Storm for the past four years, playing alongside original Doors members, keyboardist Ray Manzarek and guitarist Robby Krieger.

In other news, John Densmore still has a soul. Wow, never see that in the industry anymore. Any other band would be selling garaged doors with "Backdoor Man" by this point in time.

The new group was originally called the Doors of the 21st Century, until Manzarek and Krieger lost a lawsuit filed by former Doors drummer John Densmore, who said the Doors name was being cheapened on the oldies tour circuit."

Come on, who were they kidding? Jim Morrison could have fired every other member and gone on the road with members of the Bay City Rollers and it still would have been the Doors. Take away Jim, though, and you've just got a tribute band.

Words of Wisdom

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usNEWS AKON GIVES UP DREAMS OF BECOMING PRESIDENT OF SENEGAL AFTER WATCHING 24 Music, movie & Entertainment News: "R&B star AKON has ruled out becoming the next president of Senegal - after watching the dangers the fictional US leader on TV drama 24 went through.
The SMACK THAT singer currently acts as an ambassador to Senegalese President ABDOULAYE WADE on issues relating to young people, and once had dreams of succeeding the current premier.
But after watching President DAVID PALMER, who is played by DENNIS HAYSBERT, being murdered in season five of the US TV series, Akon no longer harbours the ambition to lead his native country.
He says, 'I don't even want to be president no more. Remember, back then I used to say I wanted to run for president in the next 10 years? Now I'm like, 'Never.' I see what I have to go through as an artist, on a day-to-day basis.
Can you imagine what the president goes through? 'Then after watching 24 the series, I was like man... I'm good. I'll just be the ambassador.'"

Other people, other sites, like fark, are making fun of this guy. But, man, he's right. I mean, man, it's hard enough just getting up and writing this crap and paying the bills every day. Now imagine if you had to deal with, like.....Mauritania invading or some shit. Or like Condoleeza Rice being pissed off at you and saying something in the news about you? The hell with that, I've got enough trouble just trying remember to pay the internet and bandwidth bills.

Thai actress punished for revealing dress

Thai actress Chotiros Suriyawong poses for a photograph in Nakhon Ratchasima, 260 km (162 miles) northeast of Bangkok, February 12, 2007. Suriyawong, a rarely known Thai actress who has become infamous overnight after wearing a revealing black dress to Thailand's version of the Oscars, will read for the blind for two weeks, a penalty from her university for the controversy. Picture taken on February 12, 2007. REUTERS/Stringer (THAILAND)

2.16.07 roundup

Britney checks into and out of rehab.
Britney Checks Into Rehab - Out a Day Later -

Nicole Richie got a DUI.
Nicole Richie Charged with DUI -

Mexican Court -- "Dog" Must Stand Trial - "Duane 'Dog' Chapman, star of A&E's 'Dog the Bounty Hunter,' may have to return to Mexico to stand trial for deprivation of liberty, "

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I've never wanted to go to Bonnaroo before...

Because it's mostly just hippy jam band crap. Which it still is...Widespread Panic for example.

But this year it will be The Police, Tool, The White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, Gillian Welch and David Cross, Lewis Black and Dave Atell.

I was supposed to see tool in Tampa in 94. That was around the time of the LA earthquake and all of their equipment was destroyed.

So who wants to pay for my ticket? - Bonnaroo 2007

Roundup for 2.15.07

Anna Nicole and her murderer Howard K Stern pitched a reality show to several networks where she would search for a husband.
Anna's Husband Search: Must NOT See TV -

Donald Trump wants to fight Vince McMahon...the loser shaves his head. Trump to McMahon: "I'll Kick Your Ass!" -


Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia

Here's Joe Rogan getting in Carlos Mencia's face about stealing jokes.

What's really sad is that all the jokes he steals suck. Also he's not funny, anyway.

Shamelessly stolen from the Superficial. But then that's what I do. I'm evil.

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia, ONSTAGE VIDEO. - Google Video

CSS tourbus stinks

Brazilian electro-rockers CSS are the subject
of huge buzz thanks to months of touring their
brilliant live show around the world. The UK
leg of the tour has been the most difficult for
them. They were given Babyshambles tour bus.
And this came with an unbearable stench that
no-one could quite get rid of. And a
blood-stained seat, where Pete Doherty used to
like taking his drugs.

The real story behind Anna Nicole's fake babydaddy

Among a cast of loonies, "Prince" Frederick
von Anhalt has somehow managed to make himself
the most bizarre story in the whole Anna
Nicole Smith tragedy. Husband of 90 year-
old Zsa Zsa Gabor, von Anhalt is said to have
bought his title, knocked more than fifteen
years off his real age (mid 70s), laid claim
to a German castle, hit a Beverly Hills
police officer and now says he's the father
of Smith's baby.

That would be something of a surprise. Von
Anhalt has already tried suing the makers
of Viagra for causing him to be unable to have
sex without it. Oh, and most days he can be
found standing outside Starbucks in West
Hollywood with his Rolls Royce Silver Shadow,
looking to attract the attention of the buff
boys coming out of the Boystown gyms.

(FYI: Von Anhalt said he thought of adopting Anna
Nicole, as did her late husband J Howard Marshall.
But he changed his mind as marriage was
advantageous tax-wise.)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine's day roundup

Anna Nicole's last film - Pop Candy -

Midnight Fantasy: Send a Personalized Midnight Fantasy greeting in the voice of Britney Spears!

Members of Glasgow Rangers football team flying to Israel surprised to discover their pilot is Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson. 'We were wondering if the cabin crew would be Ozzy Osbourne,' says one

TrimSpa Boss Upset With Photo Of Anna Nicole Smith's Fridge - Starpulse News Blog: "TrimSpa boss Alex Goen admits Smith would have been in trouble if he knew she was using SlimFast diet drinks."

And so it begins

He's only been a candidate for a week and the Republican Insano War Machine has already geared up to slander Barack Obama.

U.S. officials have rejected a Florida businessman's application to trademark the phrase "Obama bin Laden" for use on t-shirts, hats, pins, and bumper stickers. Among the reasons cited by a government lawyer was the applicant's failure to secure the written consent of Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden.

"Obama Bin Laden" Fails To Register - February 13, 2007

Have I mentioned that all Republicans are secretly gay? It's true! Example, example, example.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Unless you're a Republican.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Howard Stern changes name because of murdering bastard

Howard Stern Changes Moniker to "The Howard" - Associated Content: "In the wake of Anna Nicole Smith's death and increasing media attention on her partner and lawyer Howard K. Stern, controversial Sirius DJ Howard Stern asked listeners today to stop calling him by his full name.

"I don't want to be associated with that retard," Stern said on his daily radio show when announcing the change."

And who can blame him?

Strippers to blow a kiss as tribute to Anna Nicole

Strippers in Smith Vigil - "TMZ has learned that the 'Girls of Rick's Cabaret' will blow a goodbye kiss to Anna Nicole Smith on Valentine's Day. At the stroke of midnight, dancers at a dozen strip clubs will dim the lights and join onstage in memory of the former exotic dancer, who died last Thursday at age 39.

It was at Rick's Cabaret in Houston that Anna met her late husband, oil billionaire J. Howard Marshall. 'Anna Nicole and Howard Marshall were a fixture,' recalls Rick's founder, Robert Watters. 'Howard would come in during the day and spend money. He'd have a drink and watch Anna Nicole. She would often dance for him with a friend, and he seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of watching her interact with another dancer.'"

Ashley Olsen dancing around in her underwear like an idiot

Friday, February 09, 2007

Anna Nicole's Death: All about the money

Now Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband says he had been having an affair with Anna for years, and that the baby might be his. "If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me," von Anhalt told The Associated Press in an interview Friday.

Zsa Zsa's husband: I might be baby's dad - Yahoo! News: "Von Anhalt, 59, and Gabor, 90, have been married for more than 20 years.

Who ever gets custody of the child will be in charge of a large fortune. Right now it looks like that person will be Howard K Stern who has been given custody of Dannielynn by the officials in the Bahamas.

Stern is the most likely suspect in all of this. Zsa Zsa's man is just trying to cut himself a piece of the pie.

While no drugs were found in Anna's system there were bottles of prescription pills, including Valium and methadone. That's the combination of pills that killed Anna's son Daniel. These prescriptions were in the name of Howard K Stern.

It looks like the person who stands to profit the most from the death of Anna Nicole is Howard K Stern. He's refusing to submit the girl for paternity testing because if he does then he won't get the money.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

12 tips for better law enforcement "12 tips for better law enforcement"

- Remember: all of your equipment was furnished by the lowest bidder.

- Never plant a piece of evidence with your initials engraved on it.

- Whatever you’re doing -- try not think about it. Poets search themselves. You’re a cop: you search crack-whores.

- I don’t care what neighborhood you’re in -- the people there hate you and do not want you there. You will never be their hero, unless you die in a terrorist attack.

- If they’re talking to you -- they’re lying.

- There is always a camera filming you. I don’t care if you’re in a locked bathroom stall, twelve stories underground, in an abandoned house on the moon: some jackass has a cell-phone camera and is filming you. So SMILE -- and don’t hit anybody with your flashlight.

- White shoplifters go to therapy, because they have issues. All others go directly to jail.

- If they’re breaking the law, they think you’re Dirty Harry, a gun-crazed supercop who’s knows everything and is onto them. If they called you, they think you’re totally incompetent.

- Handcuffs hurt -- because THAT’S how they were designed. If the perp didn’t want his wrists chaffed, he should have learned a trade other than car-jacking.

- Tazers speak louder than words.

- They didn’t give put that gun on you to feng shui your belt.

- Being a cop means never having to say your sorry.

Anna Nicole Dead!

Anna Nicole Smith dead - "Anna Nicole Smith, the former Playboy playmate whose bizarre life careened from marrying an octogenarian billionaire to the untimely death of her son, died Thursday after collapsing at a South Florida hotel, one of her lawyers said.

Smith, 39, collapsed and was unresponsive while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino, said the attorney, Ron Rale. She was rushed to a hospital."

This is all about money. Anna's son Daniel would have been next in line to inherit her money. Since she married Howard K. Stern he is now next in line to inherit. Even if their marriage wasn't legal then if he is the father of her 5 month old baby then he would still be in charge of the money because he has custody.

Even Anna's mother was suspicious of something as far back as Oct. of 2006. She said, "If Howard Stern marries her and she ends up dead, then who does the money go [to]? Danny's not there."

Spice Girls, the Musical

Fresh from masterminding David Beckham's
lucrative move to America, Simon Fuller
is turning his hand to another important
project, Spice Girls - the Musical.
Seeing the success of Dreamgirls, Fuller
and his scriptwriter brother Kim are busy
constructing the Spice Girls' story
as a musical movie. Really.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Joss Whedon to do Sailor Moon Movie

I'm such a dork. I'd actually go see this. Especially if Alexis Bledel is going to be in it.

If It’s Movies » Joss Whedon Now Free To Do SAILOR MOON Live Action Movie: "Mischa Barton ————–Sailor Moon
Alexis Bledel ————— Sailor Mercury
Julie Gonzalo ————– Sailor Venus
Amber Tamblyn ————Sailor Jupiter
Deanna Casaluce ——— Sailor Mars
Danielle Panabaker——- Sailor Neptune
Maggie Grace ————– Sailor Uranus"

Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Trailer

Mostly safe for work. Turn the sound down.

Kardashian Trailer - video powered by Metacafe

Britney gets a wedgie

Here's a pic of someone, my new hero, giving Britney a wedgie. It looks like it's a chick doing it, judging from the manicure.

Colbert's Americone dream

No Fact Zone.Net » And the cherry on top of the Colbert ice cream scoop? Pics!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Obscure Baldwin brother wanted

One of the many, many Baldwin brothers has been issued an arrest warrant for failing to appear in court.

Of course, in a perfect world, all Baldwins would be interred in special camps where they can be retrained to be useful members of society. They would be punished for what they call "acting" and rewarded when they did something useful, like learning to work the fry computer at McDonald's.

Arrest warrant issued for Daniel Baldwin - Yahoo! News

Crazy diaper wearing astronaut charged with attempted murder

She was in love with another astronaut. It's a bizzare love triangle.

Nowak drove to Orlando airport around midnight on Sunday night, waited for Shipman's flight from Houston to arrive and then followed Shipman to the parking garage armed with pepper spray, a steel mallet and a BB gun, police said.

She also carried black gloves, a folding knife with a 4-inch (10-cm) blade, rubber tubing and trash bags, they said.

In a search of Nowak's car, police later found diapers that Nowak told them she wore so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate during her drive from Houston. Astronauts wear diapers during shuttle launches and landings.

Nowak tried to get into Shipman's car and sprayed what may have been pepper spray through the window when Shipman refused to open the door, police said.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Mena Suvari's weird hair

The Superficial seems to think Mena Suvari has weird hair. It's not the hair that's weird, it's the head. Her forehead is huge. It's a fivehead, possibly a sixhead.

The bangs covering it up are actually a good move on her part. If you have a big nose they can make it smaller, but there's no cure for a big forehead except to cover it up.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Old Fogies want their rock from Wal-Mart and Target

Target to distribute exclusive series of music - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Target Corp on Thursday said it will release exclusive CDs by artists like
Kenny Loggins and
David Cassidy in the latest example of stars 'of a certain age' bypassing music labels to partner directly with retailers."

Wal-Mart is partnering with The Eagles and Garth Brooks.

Of course, everyone who isn't a hopelessly out of touch baby boomer gets music from bit torrent.

Justin Timberlake and Biel?

Hell no, because he's Gay! Don't you people realize it's all a sham?

Justin Timberlake's Biel fling: "Justin Timberlake's alleged romance with Jessica Biel is just a fling, his friends have claimed.

The 'SexyBack' singer, who split from his girlfriend of four years Cameron Diaz in December, has been spending time with Jessica, but insiders say he is not ready to settle down again.

A source told People magazine: 'It's all about having fun. He's trying to have a good time. "