Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Friday, April 27, 2007

SexyJapanese Game Show

I don't know exactly what's going on here, but there are sexy Japanese girls with bouncing boobs.

Alyson Hannigan in a bikini

These are new.

I don't know who this is...

but she's my next future ex-wife.

Ninel Conde poses backstage at the Billboard Latin Music Awards Thursday, April 26, 2007 in Coral Gables, Fla. (AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

Paris Hiltion's Autopsy

Capla Kesting Fine Art: "'Campaign to Rescue Women of Youth' featuring 'The Paris Hilton
Autopsy' offers a cadaveric nude Paris Hilton, laid out with twisted body
and opened abdominal cavity on a coroner's table, while her cell phone
remains in her grip. The 'unglamorous' display which includes support
material from anti-drunk driving organizations counters 'the disturbingly
glamorized trend of Hollywood's 'girls gone wild',' according to gallery
director, David Kesting."

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Tittle-Tattle Too: Sanjaya Malakar Busted For Bad Singing, Mom Busted For Selling Pot - The Post Chronicle

Tittle-Tattle Too: Sanjaya Malakar Busted For Bad Singing, Mom Busted For Selling Pot - The Post Chronicle: "Sanjaya Malakar may be gone from American Idol but not from the news. Apparently Sanjaya's mom is a fan of the hookah, or at the very least a fan of making money off of what goes in it. According to our friends at The National Enquirer, they have uncovered legal records that reveal that 'Ganja-ya' Malakar's mom was in fact busted for marijuana possession."

Rosie O groped by Tyra Banks

TMZ: Video Player

Don't know why, but Tyra started grabbing Rosie's boobs.


The Science Creative Quarterly » THIS IS THE TRUTH: "THIS IS THE TRUTH
By you (the reader)


(In no particular order)

1. Cigarettes are bad for you.

2. Men and Women are equal.

3. Global Warming is real, and (by the way) it’s all our fault.*

4. It’s not all relative.

5. Gin is better than Whiskey. Whiskey is better than Gin.

6. Intelligent Design is wrong.

7. Over consumption is a serious problem.

8. The Millenium Development Goals are worthy*.

9. Wilco is good, sometimes exceptional, but often inconsequential.

10. Shit happens (ditto for sex).

11. Creationism is silly. (also, see 6)

12. Science, for better or for worse, is all around."


"I once tried to chat up Kate Winslet. She either
didn't hear me or she ignored me." - Will Ferrell.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Battlestar Manifesto

Talkback on Multichannel News: "Moore: Well, when I turned in the first draft of the miniseries [script] to the network, David Eick, my producing partner, suggested we write “The Manifesto” as a sales document for Sci Fi Channel. It got copied along with the first draft, and it stayed, so when the draft went out to all the actors and agents, the manifesto was the first thing everyone saw.

In it, [Battlestar] was called naturalistic science fiction — or taking the opera out of space opera. And the first line said our goal is nothing less than the reinvention of the science fiction television series. And from that point, the document laid it all out — what the show was, what the show wasn’t, how we were going to approach acting, editing, music, sound, cinematography and character."

Britney Spears NipSlip (NSFW)

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Dita and Marilyn, an "Inappropriate relationship"?

Dita Von Teese Talks About Manson's Other Woman | Dita Von Teese, Marilyn Manson : "Dita Von Teese knew Marilyn Manson was having an 'inappropriate relationship' with another woman while they were married, she says in a new interview.

Referring to comments her soon-to-be ex-husband made recently to Rolling Stone, Von Teese, 34, tells Britain's Sunday Telegraph: 'I get the impression he thinks I was unsupportive. But the truth is I wasn't supportive of his lifestyle, and someone else came along who was.' "

This is Marilyn Manson we're talking about. What did she expect? Did she want him to settle down, have kids and cut the lawn on weekends? Marilyn's lifestyle probably involves fucking ferrets covered in duct tape. What did she expect?

Jennifer Tilly in see through dress

I've always thought she was hot. So sue me. She's got a great body.

Swimsuit charges cellphone?

Spanish synchronized swimming star Gemma Mengual, poses in a solar swimsuit which designers say has the capability of charging mobile phones, during a swimwear and lingerie fashion show at the Desafio Espanol 2007 team base at America's Cup port in Valencia, April 24, 2007. REUTERS/Heino Kalis (SPAIN)

Ok, but where do you plug it in?

Friday, April 20, 2007

Jessica Biel animated gif in underwear

Wiggle that butt, babe.

Lindsay Lohan too good for Keira

E Canada Now - Breaking News » No Sex Scene With Lindsay Lohan And Keira Knightley: "The actress failed to appear on set this week to start shooting new movie ‘The Best Times Of Our Lives’ – in which she was to take part in a steamy ménage a trois with Keira."

Too bad. Well, it would be too bad, but Lindsay looks like a crack whore, now. And Keira has no maybe I just really don't give a damn after all.

Amanday Bynes Dance

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Apparently it's panty day

Everyone is showing their panties today. Here's Mischa Barton. It's more like cametoe if you view it upclose.

Jessica Alba's pantyflash

Random stuff from the Popbitch

Victoria Principal (Pam from Dallas) is booked on the
first commercial spaceflight aboard Virgin Galactic.

Joss Whedon has just directed an episode of
The Office.


When Mike Oldfield wrote Tubular Bells, which made millions, he was only making 50 pounds a week from Virgin records. This made him so angry that one day he went into Virgin records with a real lion to complain.


We already told you LA is going size zero on steroid
Clenbuterol, but to really upshift your weight loss
try Xenical too. You just shit out any fat you eat.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Jamie Lynn Siegler

Slight nipslip from Tony Soprano's daughter Meadow.

Right Said Fred running for mayor of London

I guess he's not too sexy for that. Link.

Shootings in US history comparison chart

The media is trumpeting the Virgina Tech shooting as "the worst shooting in US History". I assume they just mean shootings by just one person, because there was this little thing called the Civil War, anyone remember that? I'm sure more people died at Shiloh than at Virginia tech.

So I looked up some shootings.

Kent State massacre, 4 dead, 9 wounded.

Columbine, 13 dead, 24 wounded.

James Huberty killed 21 people and wounded 19 others in a San Ysidro, California, McDonald's using an uzi. Known as the McDonald's Massacre.

Charles Whitman, the University of Texas at Austin. In all Whitman killed 15 people and wounded 31 others before he was shot dead by Austin police. (Some accounts allege 16 or 17 victims, citing a later suicide stemming from the attacks, and a pregnant woman who subsequently miscarried.

George Hennard, Killeen Texas, shot and killed 23 people, wounded 20 and then killed himself. Known as the Luby's cafeteria massacre.

Brenda Ann Spencer The "I don't like mondays" killer. Body count, killed 3, wounded 8.

Let's not leave out the ATF.. On February 28, 1993, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) raided the Branch Davidian ranch at Mount Carmel, a property located nine miles east-northeast of Waco, Texas. The initial raid resulted in the deaths of four agents and six Davidians. The subsequent 51-day siege by the FBI ended on April 19 when fire completely consumed the complex, killing 79 people, including 21 children and Davidian leader David Koresh, that has come to be known as the Waco Siege. Autopsies confirmed that many of the victims, including David Koresh, had died of single gunshot wounds to their heads.

So good going US government. Way to get that bodycount up.

Here's the big list of massacres.

The lesson here seems to be that poison and explosives are the way to go if you want a big body count. Just ask Union Carbide.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Is it Fergie or Tara Reid


A good question

Whatever happened to Milli Vanilli?

Dear Yahoo!:
Whatever happened to Milli Vanilli?
Millie V.
Mill Valley
Dear Millie V.:
Bios from allmusic and Wikipedia tell the ludicrious but tragic tale of Milli Vanilli. In the late '80s, German music producer Frank Farian saw gold in the "exotic looks" of two "aspiring models and former breakdancers," Rob Pilatus and Fabrice Morvan. He hired them to front an album of Euro dance/rap songs on which they didn't sing, but lip-synced in live appearances. The public was kept in the dark. The album, "Girl You Know It's True," featured three number-one hits, "despite near-universal critical distaste."

Even as rumors of the truth emerged, Milli Vanilli won a 1990 Grammy for Best New Artist. Pilatus and Morvan lobbied to sing on the next production, but producer Farian came clean before that could happen. An uproar ensued, the duo's Grammy was rescinded, and a class-action suit was filed against Arista Records, which fired the group and dropped the album from its catalog.

Pilatus took the reversal of fortune hard, slashing his wrist and threatening suicide. The duo re-formed and recorded as Rob and Fab in 1993, but the album sold a paltry 2,000 copies. In 1996, Pilatus was sentenced to several months in jail for various offenses, including assault. In 1998, he was found in a Frankfurt hotel room, dead from mixing pills and alcohol. Morvan fared better, becoming a studio musician, Los Angeles DJ, and solo artist. A different take on the Milli Vanilli saga can be found on his web site. A film about Milli Vanilli is in the works.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Natalie Portman a lesbian?

Natalie Portman Is Open To Lesbianism - Starpulse News Blog: "She says, 'I've never dated a woman or anything like it, but I think it's much more about the person you fall in love with. Why would you close yourself off from 50 percent of people?'"

Paris shows her panties

Do you think if Paris died people would have memorials and compare her to Marilyn Monroe?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Travis from Reno 911, with a special message to all the hos

Obviously, if you are NOT a nappy-headed ho, this is not intended for your eyes. Please skip ahead to the part where I wrote “I love everybody equally -- sincerely, Deputy TJ.”

Okay, so somebody called some colored all-girl basketball team a bunch of nappy headed ho’s on the radio. What’s the big deal? It’s not like he called the Winning team that. That’ve been inappropriate. And isn't part of being an American being able to say anything you want? Isn’t that what Washington killed all those Germans for on Christmas day, after crossing the Delaware? Isn’t that why Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, (in between porking a bunch of his nappy headed hos?)

And for the record -- Nappy is not “the second N-word,” as a lot of people are saying. The second N word is probably coon. Or maybe jigaboo.
And don’t get me wrong... I try to never use the words coon OR jigaboo. Especially not on my radio. Not since the department handed out that memo.
And another thing -- there’s a hair salon in Reno, on 4rth and MLK blvd., called “Oh My Nappy.” Should it’s owner, LaRonda, meet with the leaders of her own community and apologize?

And why the hell was al sharpton listening to Don Imus anyway? I tell you the truth -- I suspect he wasn’t, or it wouldn’t have taken him a week to demand a sit down with Imus. So -- q.e.d.: Deductive reasoning: Al must secretly be pretty tight with some white dude -- or he wouldn’t have heard about what was on the Don Imus show at all.
I think folks out to stop freaking out about what’s being said on morning zoo shows, especially shows that they don’t even listen to. If folks are gonna freak out about stuff on the radio, they should freak out about Car Talk. Those two old dudes are obviously high on something, or they would crack each other up so much.

Shit. Speeder. I gotta go.

Anyway. I love everybody equally

-- sincerely Deputy TJ

Wham sells tape

TV in Japan » This is what TV is like. In Japan.: "This is how you sell magnetic tape. With giant hair. And flying high fives. Flying 80s high fives. On TV. In Japan."

Will Ferrell Movie Generator

Will Ferrell Movie Generator

Write your own movie starring Will.

Fergie sends Alanis a buttcake

Alanis Morissette has been sent a butt-shaped cake by Fergie.: "A source said: 'Fergie thought the video was brilliant. She sent Alanis a cake in the shape of a derriere.' Rosa Leung, 52, of Los Angeles bakery Exotic Cakes, who created the unusual treat, said: 'A note on the flesh-coloured cake read, 'Alanis, you're a genius. Love, Fergie.' ' The bakery delivered the cake to Alanis last Friday (06.04.07)."

RIP: Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "In A Man Without a Country, he wrote that 'George W. Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography.' He did not regard the 2004 election with much optimism; speaking of Bush and John Kerry, he said that 'no matter which one wins, we will have a Skull and Bones President at a time when entire vertebrate species, because of how we have poisoned the topsoil, the waters and the atmosphere, are becoming, hey presto, nothing but skulls and bones.'[18]

. it's not surprising that he disdains everything about the Iraq War. The very notion that more than 2,500 U.S. soldiers have been killed in what he sees as an unnecessary conflict makes him groan. 'Honestly, I wish Nixon were president,' Vonnegut laments. 'Bush is so ignorant.' "[5]"

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Crazy astronaut into bondage

Bondage pics found in astronaut's car | The Register: "According to the Florida Today newspaper, evidence now being released from the prosecution includes a disk found in Ms Nowak's car that contains images of an unidentified woman in bondage gear.

'Fifteen of them [the images] were depictions of a woman in various states of dress and undress,' the police reports said. 'Most of the images depicted scenes of bondage. Some of these images were photographs and some were drawings.'"

Which makes me wonder, was it her in the pics? Was it someone she knew? Was she the one that tied the other chick up? When you get whipped in space, can anyone hear you scream?

Barry Gibb burns down Johnny Cash's house!

Johnny Cash's Tennessee house burns down - Yahoo! News: "NASHVILLE, Tennessee (Reuters) - The Tennessee home of late country icon Johnny Cash burned down on Tuesday as renovations were under way for its new owner, Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees, a local newspaper reported.

The Hendersonville Star News quoted a fire official as saying the blaze probably started when fumes from a wood preservative used in the renovations were ignited by a spark."

We should shoot this fucker? Some idiot from the Bee-Gees burned down the Man in Black's house? That's like burning down Graceland.

Old Monkey

Cheeta the Tarzan chimp star turns 75 | the Daily Mail

The original Cheetah turned 75. I had no idea they lived that long.

Boston Mayor wants Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie banned

Mooninites coming to Hub: Theaters ‘toon’ out Tom’s plea - Local & Regional - "“out of respect to the people of Boston.” "

Out of respect for the stupidity of the Boston police, you mean.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Paris with bunnies

What horrible fate waits in store for these bunnies? I bet she uses them as sex toys or something even worse.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at

Grindhouse to be re-released?

Deadline Hollywood Daily » EXCLUSIVE: Harvey Very Disappointed; May Re-Release ‘Grindhouse’ As 2 Pics

Ok, one, you released it on Easter weekend. I don't think that was a very good idea.

Two, you put Fergie in it. That's just nasty.

Roundup for tues

Birkhead is babydaddy -

Laguna Beach idiot gets arrested, calls a white guy the N word. Link.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Little Victoria Beckham

Posh Spice as a child. Who knew the little darling would grow up into a horrible beast. From.

Rachael Ray gives a prom for tornado victims

Rachael Ray serves up prom after tornado :

`Sopranos' star ready for show to end - Yahoo! News He really shouldn't be, I bet it's the last acting job he'll ever have that doesn't involve Dancing with Stars.

'Girls Gone Wild' boss won't surrender He's going down, hard. He'll be in Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison. The only way you can get away with not surrendering to US marshals is to not be in the country or to be a republican senator.

Spacey Pouches

Look carefully at paparazzi photos of LA celeb
girls. You'll often see rounded cheekbones
in very thin faces. This is the result of too
much Restalyn filler - currently a popular
non-surgical, face-lifting treat, even amongt
those barely out of their teens. These curvy
cheeks are known in the town as "Spacey Pouches",
after the Oscar-winning actor who, luckily
for him, has this look naturally.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Let's play a game

It's called Guess What Jennifer Garner's Finger Smells Like.

I think it's cheese.

From d-listed.

Sanjaya's naked sister

This is Sanjaya from American Idol's sister. She used to work at Hooter's.

Update: here's a pic of her in Hooter's uniform.

And here's a link to her bouncing boobies.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

What's wrong with Beyonce?

Elvis Was A Huge 'Monty Python' Fan - Starpulse News Blog

Elvis Was A Huge 'Monty Python' Fan - Starpulse News Blog: "Thompson says, 'He's be doing all the voices, which is mind-boggling. He'd even do the ladies voices.'"

That proves that Elvis was a stoner.

The Pussycat Dolls suck, and not in the good way

Ok, so last night I watched The Next Pussycat Doll....who are these crazy bitches? Sure, they're hot, but they are such horrible people. They're all cussing each other and they say things like "Some people act like being a diva is a bad thing." and "That bitch ate a whole creme brulee and she's supposed to be on the Atkin's diet. Fatkins diet is more like it." There's even an episode titled "She dances like a drag queen." None of these chicks can sing or even dance. There's this one woman who founded the Pussycat Dolls. So that makes her the big Pussy, right? So Big Pussy has to be at least 50 years old. And she's wearing these teeny little tshirts that would have been sexy on her, like, 4 liposuctions ago. She has all this silicon or something in her face, under her skin. It sort of looks like an African wasp laid it's eggs in her cheekbones and they are about to hatch.

I'm sorry it took me so long too notice how horrible TV has become. I really hadn't been watching this crap for the last few years, because, well, I had a life. But now that I've been to rehab I've got a lot of free time on my hands, especially at night. Plus, we finally got satellite TV up here in the compound. I was afraid of getting it before, because I thought the government mind control rays were being broadcast on it, but now that I've stopped shooting datura into my eyeballs I've come to realize that was just crazy talk.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

All republicans are gay

Features : Radar Online

"Gay men are like fundamentalist Muslims. If you leave their religion they have to send out a fatwa and demand your execution"

Keith Richards snorted his father

Keith Richards: `I snorted my father' - Yahoo! News: "In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine."

That's just gross and spooky.