Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Angelina and the kids.

Here's Angelina Jolie and her brats... all these are from Pop Candy. I'm in love with Whitney Matheson.

Britney Drunk

Here's Britney Spears drunk. Sure, that looks like a Starbuck's cup in her hand, but it's really full of beer.

If you don't know

You should know about Hard Gay. He's a big star in Japan and possibly the gayest man in the world.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Naked Desperate Housewife

Marcia Cross from Desperate, not that one. Or that one. The one with red hair who's like the hot milf?

But I just have this thing for redheads. And Asian girls. Let me tell you, if I ever found an Asian redhead with big tits.....

but, anway.

Marcia Cross threw 200 naked pics of herself in the garbage and someone found them. Duh. Ever heard of a shredder or just matches?

Two hundred sexy snaps were reportedly discovered by a company hired to removed trash from redhead Cross' home in Los Angeles. The firm's owner is being represented by agent David Hans Schmidt, who plans to sell the pictures.

Schmidt tells the New York Daily News, "There are some pictures of her showering outside. She looks absolutely gorgeous. And yes, the carpet does match the curtains."

from the sfgate.

K-Fed Sucks

According to this article in the NYP.

KEVIN'S BAD RAP - New York Post Online Edition: Seven

No one is buying K-Fed tickets because his music sucks.

K-Fed said, "Fuck you bitches, anway. It was a joke. Yeah, the whole cd and concert was a joke. Yeah, America, you just got Punk'd! Popozao that, bitches!"

Ashton Kutcher's publcist said, "We have nothing to do with K-Fed and our lawyers will be talking to him about his misuse of a licensed trademark."

Thursday, October 26, 2006

K-Fed: 'If you want to hate me, cool, hate me' -

K-Fed: 'If you want to hate me, cool, hate me' - "'If you want to hate me, cool, hate me,'

Hey, K-Fed...I hate you.

Federline, 28, says in an interview posted Thursday on People magazine's Web site. 'You know why? Because all it's going to do is help me.'"

Are you reading Nietzsche now? Can you even spell it? How about if I kick your white trash ass? Will that help?

Ok, I'm issuing a challenge. I want to fight K-Fed. That's right. I can walk the walk and talk the talk. I'll fight him. No boxing gloves, no holds barred, no rules, no weapons. It'll be blogger fight club. I'll whup his ass.

So if anyone knows K-Fed tell him about this. We'll set it up.

Borat's Top 10 Tips for Sexytime

Borat's Top 10 Tips for Sexytime MAXIM ONLINE

I like you? I like sex! Here I make my tops 10 checkings list for Americans mens on sexytime.

10. History of retardation in family: It important before make sexy time, to be sure there little or no historys of retardation in her family.

9. Yellow hairs: Everyones, even an Uzbeki, knows that woman has smaller brain than man. Some mens do not know, woman with yellow hairs has smallest brain of all.

8. Get vcr: sexy time womens love look on vcr with videotape cassette tape.

7. Is she shapeshifter? There is clever plastics surgeons in US and A look close on woman's head to checking she have not had remove of jew horns.

6. Erotic physique: If woman do have bosom that is not droop sufficient this can be remedy by attach rocks for 6 month. Miss Kazakhstan Karylgash Atmekova do this and now have beautiful pair that make dangle 1.3 metre.

5. Strong Physique. If you can carry a woman against her will for more than 5 mile she no good and will be too weak for pull plow in winter.

4. Make smell nice: Ladies like very much man who stench attractive. Ensure pungent chram by not wash at least 15 days before datings.

3. Moustache: Ladies like very much big moustache. I wishing mine was more—I was tease about it at school—it did not grow until I was 8 year old.

2. Use Protection: Do not make a sexytime without precaution against disease. A jar of gypsy tears worn around neck will prevent from infect by Herpes and Gonnoreas.

1. Prostitution: Check if woman have ever be a prostitute. It can obvious bring great shame to your family if she have not.

Heidi Klum

Look closely at the clothes she's wearing. Notice anything?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Just for the hell of it....

Amy Lee Cleavage pics. I actually hate the music, it's melodramatic treacle, but she's hot.

Fox still sucks

Fox thinks Americans are so dumb that they won't get the Borat movie, so they're cutting the number of screens.

Fox has a history of stupid moves. Let's recap a few, shall we? They cancelled Family Guy, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Arrested Development...the list goes on and on. Not to mention the dumbass Fox News channel.

Fox, why do you hate America?


In other Borat news the Kazakh ambassador to Britain laughed his head off at the movie. Especially the part when "an American government official agrees to eat cheese at the beginning of an interview because it is a “Kazakh tradition”, only to be told that it has been made from human milk. “My wife make this cheese,” Borat informs the official, who chews enthusiastically until Borat adds: “She make it from milk from her tit.”"

Now that's comedy. More here.

Playboy Girls of 1958

This is what real women are supposed to look like. Soft and with curves. I love these vintage pics. To get more stuff like this visit RetroRaunch (nsfw).

Mary-Kate is a bag lady

What the hell is going on with the Olsen twins? They used to be cute. From ninjadude.

A superhero, soap opera crossover?

Say hello to the new Marvel superheroine. Her name is Harley Davidson Cooper...and that's not her super hero name, that's her secret identity. She's going to be appearing on The Guiding Light.

The story focuses on mild mannered and harried Harley Davidson Cooper played by Beth Ehlers. Zapped by an electrical current, Cooper finds herself imbued with the powers of a superhero. How will her new powers affect her life as a cop, a mother and a wife?

Oh, however will she adjust to having eyes like Marilyn Manson? Maybe she should just consider herself lucky that she didn't die like most people who are zapped by an electrical current? With video.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Revenge of the Underboob

It's not safe to go to the magazine rack.

The first 4 minutes of the Borat movie

Random weirdness

Paris Hilton will have a party in your honor, for only $100,000. from theblemish.

Tom Cruise will be getting married on Nov. 18th. Where's my invite? from

Melissa Etheridge is the father of twins. CNN.

Courtney Love says she should have married Edward Norton. Ed says he's glad he sobered up and missed that one. from contact music.

Will Smith is buying a basketball team. from espn.

Yuck, ick, gross.

Kate Moss is pregnant with that idiot Pete Doherty's child. I bet they name the child Azmodeus or Beelzabubba and it will have tentacles.

Brit's Brat

We here at Hate is the New Black (we = just me) would like to welcome a new little piece of white trash to the world Jayden James Federline. Son of Britney Spears and K-fed. Here's the birth certificate. Hopefully your parents will still have some money when you grow up, otherwise you'll end up being a roofer in Lousiana.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Jack Black says, "Don't be a douche"

This will probably upset a lot of people who don't understand a little thing we like to call "sarcasm".

And if you take it seriously, you're a douche.

Stephen King says the republicans are scary

I got this message from Stephen King today.

If I know anything, I know scary. And giving this president and this out-of-control Congress two more years to screw up our future is downright terrifying. Thankfully, this national nightmare is one we can end with—literally—a wake up call.

So if you want to help click here.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Katie Holmes Upskirt Panty Shot

Naughty, naughty. I thought Scientologists didn't do that sort of thing. Tom's gonna beat her when she gets home.

From Taxidriver.

Indiana Jones and the Adult Diapers of Doom

Are you ready for another Indiana Jones movie?

Ford says he's fit to play Indiana Jones - Yahoo! News: "'We did three films that stay within the same block of time. We need to move on for artistic reasons and obvious physical reasons,' Ford said at a news conference. 'I feel fit to continue and bring the same physical action.'" In bed.

Ok, I added that last part.

Heh. Harrison Ford is old. To get the full effect imagine me saying that in a Butthead voice.

Springfield Invaded!

In the annual Simpsons Halloween special the Earth is invaded by aliens.

In the segment, aliens invade Springfield to prevent mankind from obtaining "weapons of mass disintegration," but their mission, called "Operation Enduring Occupation," turns into a quagmire. "You said we would be greeted as liberators!" accuses one alien.

It sucks to be a Republican these days.

Paris can have my sloppy seconds

Shanna Moakler is taunting Paris.

When asked about her estranged husband’s romantic involvement with her rival Paris Hilton, Moakler remarks, “if she wants my seconds, well, she can have them. Paris can have my sloppy seconds!”

I'm hoping this turns into a catfight where they tear off each others clothes and roll around in a parking lot while someone videotapes the whole thing.

Disney sells out to Satan

Marilyn Manson will be on the new soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas.
And so will Fiona Apple, which I'm more excited about. Because if ya ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass.

Here's the track listing. Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas Special Edition Soundtrack CD: "
# This Is Halloween - Performed by Marilyn Manson
# Sally's Song - Performed by Fiona Apple
# What's This? - Performed by Fall Out Boy
# Kidnap the Sandy Claws - Performed by She Wants Revenge
# This Is Halloween - Performed by Panic! At the Disco"

Fraggle Rock, the movie

I know some of you dorks out there will get all excited about this. Fraggle Rock, the movie will be about the Fraggles travelling to outer space. Brian and Lisa Henson, the son and daughter of creator Jim Henson, will be producing.

Also, Ahmet Zappa will be involved with the project. I'm not sure if he'll be making the music or just producing.

The 1980s cult hit TV show is being developed by Ahmet Zappa -- younger son of Frank Zappa -- into a full-length live-action musical fantasy starring the classic characters.

"(Zappa) recently created his own fantasy property ('Mighty McFearless'), and we had him in to talk about books and movies," said Lisa Henson, who serves as co-CEO of the Jim Henson Co. with her brother, Brian.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Borat invited to Kazakhistan

The Government of the country has invited Borat to see the wonders that they offer.

"His trip could yield a lot of discoveries -- that women not only travel inside buses but also drive their own cars, that we make wine from grapes, that Jews can freely attend synagogues and so on," Rakhat Aliyev, First Vice Foreign Minister of Kazakhstan, told local news agency Kazakhstan Today late on Wednesday.

Isn't that great? Women can now ride inside buses and Jews aren't thrown down the well...anymore.

But in other news, now the Gypsies are mad at Borat.

Also this week, a German group thatr defends gypsies said it had filed a suit to try to stop Cohen from showing his latest film in Germany. "We are accusing him of defamation and inciting violence against Sinti and Roma (gypsies)," Marko Knudsen, head of the European Center of Antiziganism Research, told Reuters. Antiziganism refers to hostility to gypsies.

Bill O'Reilly threatened to kill me with a handgrenade

Well, he threatened all bloggers and I'm a member of that group.

Think Progress » O’Reilly on Blogosphere: ‘I’d Go in With A Hand Grenade’: "O’Reilly said that he knew “for a fact that President Bush doesn’t know what’s going on in the Internet.” O’Reilly then said, “I have to say President Bush has a much healthier attitude toward this than I do. Because if I can get away with it, boy, I’d go in with a hand grenade."

Toronto Fashion Week

Remember when models used to be pretty? Those were the good old days, huh?

Jaime Pressly

This chick is gonna be a big star one day, just wait. She needs to stay out of the tanning bed, though. She got engaged to some dj today.

This is what you need

Is your life unfulfilling and sad? The problem is you're not drinking enough water. You need Bling H2O. It's the water for you. Sure, it's 35 dollars a bottle, but if it's good enough for Paris Hilton's dog, it should be good enough for you.

And you know what the best part is? It's redneck water. It's bottled in Dandridge, Tennessee, which is near Pigeon Forge, which is where Dollywood is. That's right, you can pay 35 dollars to drink water from a lake that Dolly Parton pisses in. It's also pretty near Oakridge, which is where all the nuclear research is done.

Bling H2O...overpriced, radioactive, redneck water for dogs!