Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Thursday, December 27, 2007

GPS Used To Recover Stolen Baby Jesus

GPS Used To Recover Stolen Baby Jesus - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando

Police in Wellington used a GPS tracking system attached to a baby Jesus to track down the statue and arrest a woman in connection with a Dec. 26 theft.Investigators said the baby Jesus figure was stolen from a Nativity scene in Wellington Wednesday night.Detectives tracked down the statue to a house in Wellington.A short time later, Danielle Santino, 18, turned herself in to authorities, the Palm Beach Post reported.Santino was charged with grand theft.The statue was returned to the village, the report said.Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
I thought for sure that they would just steal the gps, too. I'd rather have a gps than a baby Jesus doll.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Comic Art

First, why do we still call them comics, even if they aren't funny? Don't say "graphic novels" because that just makes you sound both pretentious and nerdy. A pretentonerd, or maybe nerdtentious.

Progressive Boink: "This is what a woman looks like to Rob Liefeld. I can't even kid about this. It's fucking ridiculous. Fucking ricockulous. She's wearing a string of pouches where her stomach should but could not possibly be and both her thighs and forearms are larger than her abdomen. She has a big ole ass and torpedo tits, and I geniuenly think that when Rob finished drawing her he sat back, frowned, looked over at his friend, and said 'yikes, sorry, guy.'"
No, it doesn't look lifelike. But it looks good.

Look at this,


She's not lifelike, either. Her spine is too long. But that's one of the reasons its considered a great work of art.

Get it? It doesn't have to be realistic to be great art.

Cop goes into roid rage because his jeky was wrong

Butcher Shop Owner: Off-Duty Officer Pulled Out Gun Over Jerky - News Story - KPTV Portland

A Vancouver police officer is on paid administrative leave after witnesses said he flew into a rage and pulled out a gun at a local butcher shop.Vancouver police were called to a butcher shop on Northeast Fourth Plain Boulevard around 4 p.m. Friday to investigate a disturbance involving an off-duty officer.The owner of the Top Choice Meat Market, Mike Brannan, said the off-duty officer was upset because 4 pounds of his deer jerky was seasoned incorrectly.

The officer is on paid-administrative leave, which is part of standard operating procedure.


Isn't that great. He threatens to kill someone and he gets a paid vacation.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Pig tases woman for no good reason

Fla. officer shocks woman yelling at her - Yahoo! News: "While Elizabeth Beeland was trying to purchase a CD player at a Best Buy on Nov. 26, she stepped outside to talk on her phone, leaving her credit card. Concerned about the sudden exit, a store clerk suspected Beeland was using a stolen card and called over a police officer.

Officer Claudia Wright wrote in a police report that when she approached, Beeland became 'verbally profane, abusive, loud and irate.' She said she warned Beeland to calm down or face arrest.

Wright was not disciplined, and police Chief Mike Chitwood defended her actions. Beeland was refusing an officer's orders, and using a Taser avoided use of other weapons, he said."


So, instead of apologizing, the pig department said, "Shut up. You're lucky we didn't shoot you."

Monday, December 17, 2007

Is Mike Huckabee's son a dog killer?

Son’s Past Could Come Back to Bite Huckabee | Newsweek Periscope | Newsweek.com: "As Mike Huckabee gains in the polls, the former Arkansas governor is finding that his record in office is getting more scrutiny. One issue likely to get attention is his handling of a sensitive family matter: allegations that one of his sons was involved in the hanging of a stray dog at a Boy Scout camp in 1998. The incident led to the dismissal of David Huckabee, then 17, from his job as a counselor at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, Ark. It also prompted the local prosecuting attorney— bombarded with complaints generated by a national animal-rights group—to write a letter to the Arkansas state police seeking help investigating whether David and another teenager had violated state animal-cruelty laws."

I say we brand him across the chest with "dogkiller", like in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome".

Michael Jackson has problems

Jacko's Face « TMZ.com Photo Gallery

Friday, December 07, 2007

Cool

Big Head DC » Teen Calls Bush’s Secret Phone; Creates Security Scare: "An Icelandic teen, MSNBC reports, figured out President Bush’s private phone number, and called it recently, leaving a message saying he was the president of Iceland and wanted Bush to call him back. When police visited the teen, after being alerted by Secret Service, he would not say how he learned the top-secret number. Big Head DC is speculating that he somehow deciphered the code from when Jenna Bush called her parents during a recent taping of the Ellen show."

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Overzealous thought police arrest teacher

Teacher Arrested In Connection With Web Posting About Columbine - News Story - WISC Madison: "WEST BEND, Wis. -- An Oak Creek High School teacher has been arrested after authorities said he posted comments online in a debate about teacher salaries, saying the Columbine High School shooters were heroes. James Buss, 46, of Cudahy, was arrested Thursday by West Bend police and released after posting $300 bail. He has been suspended from his job. He could face criminal charges. A message left at his home was not immediately returned Saturday."


Ok, what he said was stupid, but how can you arrest him for it? He has freedom of speech. Even stupid speech is protected. He deserved to be fired, but arrested? The Founding Fathers would be appalled.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Still don't think the TSA is out of control? Read this.

Ken Schram: Someone should be fired | KOMO-TV - Seattle, Washington | Ken Schram: "Brief background: On the tarmac, an honor guard had been formed by Port of Seattle Police, airport fire and rescue and military personnel as the soldier's body was placed on the plane. A police officer then took the escort soldiers up to security. The TSA screener checked everyone's ID, including the police officer, and then had the soldiers go through the metal detectors. Their combat ribbons and medals set off the alarms. So what does the TSA screener do? He has the soldiers strip off their uniforms - in front of everyone - down to their tee shirts, pants and socks."

Friday, November 30, 2007

Canadians and Chinese are teaming up to poision kids, now

The Canadian Press: NDP issues Christmas toy asbestos warning: "OTTAWA - The NDP is calling on the federal government to shut down Canada's asbestos industry and scrap 'horrifying' regulations that allow the use of the cancer-causing mineral in children's toys and other products. New Democrat MPs Pat Martin and Libby Davies released test results Friday showing that asbestos is present in CSI Fingerprint Examination Kit - a popular new children's toy made in China. 'Asbestos is the greatest industrial killer the world has ever known and you would have to be insane to put asbestos in children's toys,' said Martin."

Is it just that the Chinese are greedy and profit driven or are they actively trying to poison kids? I don't know what the hell is going on with Canada. Every kid who gets mesothelioma from this will be able to sue, at least.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sarah Michelle Gellar rules out starring in Buffy movie

Sarah Michelle Gellar rules out starring in Buffy movie


"Of course I never say never, so I'm not saying no, but my fear would be to open something like that up again, to only end it again," she added.







The day will come when she will be begging Joss Whedon for a Buffy movie. And he'll say no, because she will be too damn old. She's starting to look as leathery and dry as Sharon Stone.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Actress is now Sarah Michelle Prinze - UPI.com

Actress is now Sarah Michelle Prinze - UPI.com: "NEW YORK, Nov. 16 (UPI) -- Hollywood actress Sarah Michelle Gellar has taken the last name of her husband Freddie Prinze Jr. as a fifth wedding anniversary present. 'She officially changed her name to Sarah Michelle Prinze,' a source close to the actress told Us Weekly. 'On their anniversary, she showed (Freddie) her new driver's license. It was so sweet.'"

You know this means that they'll be divorced soon, don't ya? It's like getting a tattoo of your bf/gf's name. It curses the relationship.

I bet Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder still have their tattoos.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Terror police 'shot' man in coma

BBC NEWS | England | West Yorkshire | Terror police 'shot' man in coma: "A man who had gone into a diabetic coma on a bus in Leeds was shot twice with a Taser gun by police who feared he may have been a security threat. Nicholas Gaubert has described how the incident happened in July 2005, just a week before the fatal shooting of Brazilian man Jean Charles de Menezes."

Going into a coma? That's a tazing.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dumbass cop tasers himself

local: "A Madison police officer was issued a letter of reprimand this month for zapping the officer's own hand with a Taser, inadvertently sending a massive jolt of electricity through the officer's body, police disclosed today. The incident happened on July 31 when the officer, whose name and gender were not disclosed, discharged the non-lethal weapon during a checkout procedure. According to a summary of the investigation issued by Lt. Kristen Roman of the Professional Standards and Internal Affairs office, officers are required to make sure that no air cartridge is loaded before testing the Taser gun, which is done at the start of each shift."


If they were being fair they would have taken him into custody where he would have somehow beat himself up.

Boy George has gone crazy

Boy George charged with false imprisonment| Showbiz | This is London: "Boy George has been charged with false imprisonment after allegedly chaining a male escort to a wall."

            Boy George


Kanye's Mom's Doc a Quack?

Awful Plastic Surgery: Doctor In Kayne's Mom's Death ID'd: "A message board claims that Dr Adams has two malpractice judgements against him and that the information was obtained at this site: http://www.medbd.ca.gov/"

Monday, November 12, 2007

Plastic Surgery kills

Kanye West's Mother Dies -- A Mystery - TMZ.com: "Kanye West's mother, Dr. Donda West, has died. Multiple reports indicate that Dr. West's death may have been a result of complications from some sort of surgery. Kanye was in London when he was told. He is on his way back to the U.S. West often spoke about the close relationship he shared with his mother. Dr. West worked as the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University before retiring to become her son's manager."

Just remember this when you go in for a tummy tuck or a boob job.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Saturday, November 10, 2007

It's ok to teach kids about war, but not about peace

MyFox Tampa Bay | Teacher told peace banner not appropriate: "The principal says she's all for free speech, but doesn't think our youngest students are ready yet to hear about war protesting."

I don't think they're ready to hear about war.

Area 52, where the reall stuff happens

Las Vegas Now - Breaking News, Local News, Weather, Traffic, Streaming Video, Classifieds, Blogs - I-Team: Area 52, The Secret Sister - Part 2: "When the Washington Post ran a cartoon in 1997 joking that Area 52 is where the government hides its elves and gnomes, it didn't realize there really is an Area 52, also known as the Tonopah Test Range. It might not house any elves, but it's where the military grapples with gremlins. For example, how to better exploit pilotless drones, or how to use parachutes to deliver nuclear bombs. The Sandia Corporation, which manages Area 52, is working on a fusion reactor, which it pointedly announced is, quote, 'not from Area 51,' a more secretive sister facility."

More regular people get background checks while child molesters get away

Ohio.com - AP: "Already this year, 25 million Americans have had background checks by the federal government, a number that's risen every year since the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Amid the rise, a notable shift has occurred: More civilians are now checked each year than criminals. And checks on the vast majority come back clean, even as states allot more money for their growing screening operations. And, in rare cases, predators still slip through the cracks. Take Timothy Stephen Keil, an Ohio church camp counselor recently convicted of molesting two young boys. Or Ralph Fiscale, a New Hampshire soccer coach, and Stephen Unger Jr., a Texas schoolteacher, both of whom committed similar offenses in the past year. All were either not run through a check by their superiors, or they passed one. Civil libertarians say the tradeoffs of such a system, built largely through state"

Friday, November 09, 2007

No injuries reported in Valero Port Arthur plant blast

No injuries reported in Valero Port Arthur plant blast | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle: "An explosion today at the Valero Energy Corp. Port Arthur refinery resulted in a fire during an emergency shutdown of a unit that removes sulfur from hydrocarbons, the refinery manager told The Enterprise in a telephone interview."


Wow! What a coincidence! The gas supply is already bottlenecked by the refineries. They say that's why gas is so high.

It's just an amazing run of bad luck that they now have to reduce gas production and raise prices.

Those poor gas companies. They must be going broke, oh, wait...

Taco Bell fires manager for making too much money

Nick Coleman: After 30 years, Taco Bell didn't even offer her any hot sauce: "Shilson thinks her dismissal was engineered in order to get rid of a veteran worker whose base salary was $45,000. 'I bawled for three days after I got fired,' she says. 'I was the most loyal, dedicated employee they could have. In 30 years, I never called in sick or was late to work. Not once! And I was good at my job. Damn good.'"


Plus, she was close to retirement. They don't want to pay that.

I hate how these big companies think they can screw over everyone.

EMI screws Radiohead

Radiohead dispatch their new album In
Rainbows, on 10th December. Coincidentally
an expensive box set and USB stick of all
six of their previous albums is being
released on the same day by EMI. Of course,
this has nothing to do with Radiohead's
decision not to re-sign with EMI at the end of
their contract. The label wouldn't be running
a spoiler against the band just because they
went out on their own, would they?

Just goes to show you that the record companies are actually the big thieves, not the downloaders.

WWKKD?

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Police discover Mafia's 'Ten Commandments' after arresting Godfather | the Daily Mail

In an arrest of someone in the Mafia police discovered the mafia ten commandments.


Police discover Mafia's 'Ten Commandments' after arresting Godfather | the Daily Mail:

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always be available for Cosa Nostra, even if your wife's about to give birth.

6. Appointments must be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra are anyone with a close relative in the police, with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Zapped: Why did police Taser 82-year-old grandma? :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Mary Mitchell

Zapped: Why did police Taser 82-year-old grandma? :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Mary Mitchell: "According to a police source, when officers arrived, Fletcher was 'swinging a hammer' and becoming 'increasingly violent.' When Fletcher failed to stop as ordered, an officer discharged a Taser. Also, it's worth noting that Fletcher hasn't been charged with violating any laws. 'The matter is being looked into by the Office of Professional Standards, and the Chicago Police Department will also be reviewing the matter to determine if procedures were followed,' a police spokesman said."


And, of course, they will find that the officers did nothing wrong. They never do. They are perfect little angels that never do anything wrong.

The old woman is lucky they didn't just shoot her in the face, then sprinkle crack on her body and say she pulled a gun.

Are there any standards at all about who can become a cop? Do you just have to have a bad attitude, a crewcut and a steroid connection?

Another Republican sex scandal

House GOP Rep. punished for remark to woman aide | KOMO-TV - Seattle, Washington | News: "OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) - Minority House Republicans, already reeling from a sex scandal that prompted one member to quit, have severely disciplined a Vancouver lawmaker for inappropriate remarks to a female staffer.
Dunn also said he could not exactly recall what he said to the woman, but said he was "sure it was very inappropriate, because I do that kind of thing." He also acknowledged it could have been interpreted as sexual harassment.

"I was a little bit upset about something that had happened a little earlier in the day. I was a little sharp with this young lady, and I shouldn't have been," Dunn said.

Dunn also told The Columbian of Vancouver that he couldn't recall exactly what he said to the woman, but that it was along the lines of "I bought you a drink because I want to take you home," the newspaper reported."

I'm just amazed that it was to a woman who was of legal age. Usually Republicans only do that sort of thing to young boys. He should get an award or something.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Writer's Strike? Writer's scmike....John Stewart might pay them himself

Update: Stewart's Rep Denies He's Paying Writers Out Of Pocket During Strike - Media on The Huffington Post: "In a show of solidarity with his fellow scribes, the Daily Show host has told his writing staff that he will cover all their salaries for the next two weeks, according to a well-placed source. He has also vowed to do the same for writers on The Colbert Report. A Comedy Central spokesman referred my inquiry about this to Stewart's personal publicist, who has yet to respond."

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Willow is a sea slug

Alyson Hannigan, who played Willow Rosenberg on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, has a species of sea slug
named after her - Alderia Willowi.

Joss Whedon has a new show

Watch with Kristin - Best News Ever! Joss Whedon Spills Exclusive Deets on His New Series: "In your own words, how would you describe Dollhouse? The idea is those with the money or connections can access this secret highly illegal facility where they can basically fulfill their greatest fantasies. Most people assume that means sex—and on an occasion it does, because that is a lot of people's fantasies—but it's basically scenarios. They can basically reenact scenarios of romance, adventure or anything perfectly, because they become the person that you want them to be—they become that person. They don't act like that person, they are not a robot pretending, they become that person, and then they forget all about it. The problem is the character of Echo, Eliza Dushku's character, stops forgetting. She doesn't completely remember, but she does realize she is a person, and that she might have been a person before she did this, and she doesn't know what that is."

He may not know it but there was a whorehouse like that in William S Gibson's Neuromancer.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Monkey Wars

Catnip - WildLife

Some people say that robots will rise up and enslave man, other say it will be aliens, or even zombies.

I say it's going to be the monkeys.

Primates aren't really taking over the world ...are they? Documents released from Moscow show that in the 1920s, Joseph Stalin (here at the Wildcat we just call him "Joe") commissioned biologist Ilya Ivanov to create a race of half-man, half-ape soldiers called "humanzees." Stalin requested, "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat." Unfortunately, the experiment fell through before Ivanov could artificially inseminate any of the human females with ape sperm.



It's already started. New Delhi's mayor was killed by monkeys.

The band of monkeys attacked the deputy mayor at his home this past weekend, knocking him off a terrace and killing him. The monkeys were allegedly driven from the downtown areas into the suburbs after the Defense Ministry trained larger langur monkeys to attack the smaller macaque monkeys responsible for the attack.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The 25 Greatest Moments from "The Office" : Rolling Stone

The 25 Greatest Moments from "The Office" : Rolling Stone

I didn't watch the first 2 seasons so these are new to me. I didn't like the British version of The Office. It was funny, but it was painful to watch Ricky Gervais. When people do stupid things I don't laught at them, I cringe and feel bad for them. I'm just too damn nice, huh?


The US version is nicer. The boss is sympathetic. He's a dork, but not really mean. I even like Dwight and his weird obsessions.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Reaction to the news....

funny cat picture

I don't know why I do these things.

But I do them anyway..... Image shack has a new feature that lets you add glittery effects and text to an image. So I made several of them...with Hayden Pantierre. This chick is just smoking hot. This is about the coolest toy, ever.


Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Dumbledore is gay!

J.K. Rowling outs Hogwarts character - Yahoo! News

NEW YORK - Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.


After reading briefly from the final book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," she took questions from audience members.

She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbledore finds "true love."

"Dumbledore is gay," the author responded to gasps and applause.

She then explained that Dumbledore was smitten with rival Gellert Grindelwald, whom he defeated long ago in a battle between good and bad wizards. "Falling in love can blind us to an extent," Rowling said of Dumbledore's feelings, adding that Dumbledore was "horribly, terribly let down."

Dumbledore's love, she observed, was his "great tragedy."

"Oh, my god," Rowling concluded with a laugh, "the fan fiction."

Potter readers on fan sites and elsewhere on the Internet have speculated on the sexuality of Dumbledore, noting that he has no close relationship with women and a mysterious, troubled past. And explicit scenes with Dumbledore already have appeared in fan fiction.

Rowling told the audience that while working on the planned sixth Potter film, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," she spotted a reference in the script to a girl who once was of interest to Dumbledore. A note was duly passed to director David Yates, revealing the truth about her character.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

'Lady Godiva' care home protest

BBC NEWS | UK | England | Staffordshire | 'Lady Godiva' care home protest

Simone Christiaan
Simone Christiaan is the guardian of a resident in one of the homes
A woman posing as Lady Godiva swapped a white horse for a mobility scooter to protest at plans to close care homes.

Simone Christiaan went almost naked to pretend to be an elderly version of the Anglo-Saxon campaigner at Stafford's county council building.

Ms Christiaan, 41, is the guardian of a resident in Springhill Home in Leek, one of the homes under threat.

The council said no decision has been made and it is still consulting those affected.

Ms Christiaan, who only had two plasters to cover her modesty, said that during the protest on Wednesday morning she was nearly arrested by a police officer.

She said: "They said just covering the nipple part was not good enough, it had to cover the whole breast. I said that if I was wearing a bikini I would've shown more.

"I nearly got slightly arrested and had to cover up a bit."

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Britney Overheard Trashing Judge at Neiman Marcus | Usmagazine.com

Britney Overheard Trashing Judge at Neiman Marcus | Usmagazine.com

"I hate my judge," Spears declared to Bret. "He is so mean. Just an old fart. He told me I was being catty with him, but he was being catty with me and paid me no respect at all."

Her verdict?

"His job is to sit there and tell people what to do," Spears said. "And that's just so sad, because he gets off on it."



Welcome to the real world, Britney. That's what judges do.


She's never going to get those kids. And the truth is, she doesn't really want them.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Giuliani has a plan for Alien Attack

Union Leader - Giuliani: Preparedness is key (even if aliens attack) - Monday, Oct. 15, 2007: "EXETER – Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani yesterday said preparedness will be key for all crises, even an attack from outer space."

I think he's bluffing. He doesn't have a plan.

Mirror Ball

If you hold two mirrors up to each other they produce an infinity of reflections.
Have you ever wondered what it would look like inside a mirror ball?

They did it for a Japanese tv show.

From TV in Japan.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Everyone needs to read this

Have you ever fallen in love with someone on the internet and then find out it was all a lie? Then this will sound familiar.

It's easier to fall in love on the net because you don't have to actually deal with the person. You don't have to deal with them stinking up the bathroom. You don't have to watch Degrassi because that's her favorite show.

You get all the good love stuff (except the sex) without any of the bad breath and bad jokes.

LA Weekly - News - The Life and Death of Jesse James - Josh Olson - The Essential Online Resource for Los Angeles

Why the music industry is dying


Throughout most of the 80's the Major Labels were all about consolidation. Top 40 was their invention. What they wanted was everything neat and divided up easily. They wanted to be able to tell people that these are the top R&B songs. These are the top country songs. These are the top mainstream songs. That's all you can listen to, because that's all we want to sell you. They wanted to minimize the number of artists and the number of albums. That maximized profits. What they hated was when there were thousands of little bands, each with a loyal little following. Consolidation was the best way to minimize costs. Once you had an album it's cheaper to run 5 million copies of one CD. It's just a matter of scale. The more copies you make of a unit the cheaper each unit is. That's something anyone who's ever had business cards or t-shirts printed has found out.

The plan was coming along well.

Then the record industry was struck with a one two punch. Hip Hop and Nirvana ruined the whole thing.

First Hip Hop came along. Sure, it had been around since the 70's, at least. But it was put out on it's own record labels. Little indie labels that the big boys only noticed when they would occasionally buy one of their producers or pick up one of their acts.

But MTV put on Yo! MTV Raps in 1988. While it had been big before, now Hip Hop blew up. Instead of sticking to their plan of releasing a million Milli Vinilli and Tiffany clones they had to change their strategy. There were a lot of rap acts suddenly making money, and the record industry wasn't getting their cut. So they had to sign all the big rap acts or they had to buy the indie labels that signed them.

Then Nirvana came along, with a thousand little moderate punk bands with them. The labels had to do the same thing with the white music. Top 40 as a genre was mostly destroyed by this. Kurt Cobain called 1991 "The Year Punk Broke", well Rap broke about the same time.

But, little by little, the recording industry did it again. They bought lots of little labels and just folded them into the bigger company. They created their own little fake indie Labels, like Interscope. See, Nine Inch Nails had a contract with a little indie label called TVT. Something went wrong with the negotiations when a big label tried to buy them for their wonderboy, Trent Reznor. So they just had him break his contract, gave him his own fake label called Nothing Records under another fake label called Interscope. They dared anyone to say anything, because they knew they had the meanest lawyers in town. Interscope was just started in 1990 and released such greats as Gerardo's Rico Suave. It was always owned and distributed by Atlantic records or a subsidiary.

They also signed a lot of indie artists from Sub Pop (name some others). They were initially offered very good contracts. Then later, in the mid 1990's these contracts weren't renewed. Michelle Shocked had her name stolen from her. The record label claimed they owned her name and wouldn't allow her to record under it for ten years. Juliana Hatfield had her contract just dropped. She found that the album she had just recorded didn't really belong to her and her label refused to release it. Even though it was finished and already paid for. They still hold the album God's Foot hostage. Fortunately you can find some staticky copies on Pirate Bay. Some fans say it's her best album ever.

Again and again this pattern was followed. Buy or create an "indie" label. Cherry pick the musicians you want and drop the rest. It worked and few noticed.

Finally their plan worked. Everyone was paying them. They had their fingers in everybody's pie. In the late 90's they had managed to cut down their roster of musicians to just a few. It was mostly just Britney, Christina Aguilera and the boy bands. It was a horrible time for music. MTV didn't play videos anymore. Radio didn't play anything new unless it was by one of the approved artists. The underground music scene, which had been around since the Beatniks, was really underground. You didn't hear about a band that wasn't one of the majors.

Then downloading came along. It was nothing new. The record labels had been aware of the possibility since the 80's. They saw it as a content delivery system, though. Their vision was that you would go to the record store, tell them what album you wanted, and instead of them having it in stock, they would download it and burn it for you. The Record Store as we knew it would just be an empty store where you could have anything you wanted.

The Labels couldn't wrap their head around it. Every metric in their system, all the accounting, was based on shipping units of Cd's, cassettes, LP's whatever. They had split themselves up into several units. One of these was distribution. If you cut them out where would all those VP's and Presidents of distribution go? How would they make their cut from the indie stores? They saw themselves not in the intellectual property business, but in the shipping and warehousing industry. They bought units. If you weren't selling a unit, what were you selling? They understood selling things that you could hold in your hand. That's it. If you separated that from the music then what did you have? Besides, they had been wary of any knew tech since they had lost a bundle with Quadraphonic sound in the 70's.

So they went on, oblivious, for awhile.

But it wasn't downloading that was killing their sales. It was the web.

With the web everyone could put out their opinion. Even if they didn't have a blog, they could write reviews on Amazon. They even put them right there on the page.

The Labels had never wanted to know what people thought about music. They wanted to tell them what to think. They didn't want to find out what kind of music they liked and then sell that to them. They wanted to tell them what they liked based on their age. If they were baby boomers, they got John Tesh and about a million classic rock box sets. The young and angry got Tupac, Marilyn Manson and Rage against the machine. All artists that seemed to be anti-establishment but they were part of huge multinational corporations. Everyone else got Britney and the Backstreet Boys. That's the way they liked it.

They even got rid of most of the indie record stores. You had a choice of where to buy music, Blockbuster, Best Buy or Wal-mart.

But, in the meantime, a million file sharers were out there ripping and burning. Telling each other about their great new finds. Obscure bands came out of nowhere and moved major units. A million music blogs were started. The corporate rock magazines, like Spin, started basing their print issues on what had been big on Pitchfork 3 months before.

The Labels weren't getting any of the money. Not even for distribution...which is where they always got a cut before. Indie labels had always made deals with the big boys to get their albums into stores. Not anymore. Why do you even need a CD when you can download from bittorrent? Even people that wanted to pay for these things couldn't. The Labels have huge back catalogs that they never release to the public. Millions of songs sit in warehouses and rot because they don't want the cost and trouble of having to issue them on cd. But they won't give them away, either. They would rather no one ever heard them again.

The Labels tried to buy the little distribution systems. It didn't work. Sure, they could buy Napster or Audiogalaxy, but as soon as they did, as soon as they started limiting the files available, everyone moved to a different distribution system. So they went after the users. They sued a few people to scare off everyone else. It didn't work, either. The filesharing systems just became anonymous.

So now the Labels try to protect their dying business model by lobbying congress and bribing politicians. Maybe this time it will work, but I doubt it. Legislation wouldn't have made buggy whip manufacturers profitable after Henry Ford changed the industry, would it?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Who is going to be the first network to pick up this show?

Excite News - Murder-for-Hire Admission Dooms TV Show

BOGOTA, Colombia (AP) - The hit game show "Nothing But the Truth" has been canceled after a contestant won $25,000 for admitting she hired someone to kill her husband.

Tuesday was the final day for the show, in which contestants attached to a lie-detector machine answered 21 increasingly invasive questions to win up to $50,000.

A U.S version called "Moment of the Truth" is still expected to be launched on Fox in the coming months, along with spin-offs in England, Australia, Germany, Italy and Spain, according to Howard Schultz, the Los Angeles-based creator of the show.

On the Colombian version, dollar-desperate contestants confessed everything from drug smuggling to homosexual prostitution before a studio audience packed with unsuspecting loved ones.

It drew high ratings and spurred a boom in polygraph usage among private companies trying to screen employees and protect themselves from infiltration by Colombia's well-organized mafias.

But the show also generated sharp rebukes from U.S. polygraph examiners, family values groups and legal experts who likened the spectacle to a modern-day Roman circus that sanctions criminal behavior. Complaints of indecency also poured in to Colombia's national television commission.

The episode that sealed the show's fate was broadcast Oct. 2, when Rosa Maria Solano admitted she had hired a hit man to rub out her husband. "The crime couldn't be carried out because the hit man tipped off my husband and he ran away forever - God save me," said Solano after her revelation.

Facing negative public reaction and the threat of legal action for being an after-the-fact accessories to crime, Caracol Television pulled the plug.

Schultz, the creator of such reality TV hits as ABC's "Extreme Makeover," said he was unfamiliar with the controversial episode in Colombia, but did not fear it would slow the worldwide rollout.

"We're very careful about the questions we ask," he said, "and would never sanction any criminal behavior."

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Prince is still weird

We love Prince. He's been awesome in concert
this summer. When he went to film his new music
video, Prince walked up to the director and every
member of the crew and asked them "Do you have
Jehovah in your heart?" Only a positive answer
kept them on set. And while making the video,
His Purple Lordship was accompanied by a hooker,
to whom he would only converse through a
third-party. (For example, Prince, "Please would
somebody ask the lady if she would like to come
to my dressing room?")

Monday, September 10, 2007

Apparently there's been a schism in the Church of Scientology

The Scientology Freezone expands - Press Release: "The International Freezone Association (IFA) is a group of individuals and groups who believe they should be free to practice the original philosophy of Lafayette Ron Hubbard and not the altered version as practiced by the Church of Scientology™ since Ron Hubbard’s demise. Liberal specific examples of such alterations may be found at scientologistsfreezone.com"

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I just discovered this

People analyze music lyrics. I'm currently reading the Elvis Costello section.

Of course there are lots of trolls.

SongMeanings | music song lyrics

Friday, September 07, 2007

I have no idea what this is about...

But it's kinda hot.


YouTube - ビキニ姿のスザンヌはいけてますねw

Men being cast as predators

Moving On - WSJ.com
These days, if Rian Romoli accidentally bumps into a child, he quickly raises his hands above his shoulders. "I don't want to give even the slightest indication that any inadvertent touching occurred," says Mr. Romoli, an economist in La Cañada Flintridge, Calif.

Ted Wallis, a doctor in Austin, Texas, recently came upon a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. He walked away. "Being male," he explains, "I am guilty until proven innocent."

In San Diego, retiree Ralph Castro says he won't allow himself to be alone with a child -- even in an elevator.

Last month, I wrote about how our culture teaches children to fear men. Hundreds of men responded, many lamenting that they've now become fearful of children. They said they avert their eyes when kids are around, or think twice before holding even their own children's hands in public.


Frank McEnulty, a builder in Long Beach, Calif., was once a Boy Scout scoutmaster. "Today, I wouldn't do that job for anything," he says. "All it takes is for one kid to get ticked off at you for something and tell his parents you were acting weird on the campout."

It's true that men are far more likely than women to be sexual predators. But our society, while declining to profile by race or nationality when it comes to crime and terrorism, has become nonchalant about profiling men. Child advocates are advising parents never to hire male babysitters. Airlines are placing unaccompanied minors with female passengers.

Child-welfare groups say these precautions minimize risks. But men's rights activists argue that our societal focus on "bad guys" has led to an overconfidence in women. (Children who die of physical abuse are more often victims of female perpetrators, usually mothers, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

Though groups that cater to the young are working harder to identify predators, they also ask that risks be kept in perspective. Big Brothers Big Sisters of America does criminal background checks on each of its 250,000 volunteers, and has social workers assess them. Since 1990, the group says, it has had fewer than 10 abuse allegations per year. More than 98% of the alleged abusers were male.

"If we wanted to make sure we never had a problem, one approach would be to just become Big Sisters -- to say we won't serve boys," says Mack Koonce, the group's chief operating officer. But, of course, that would deny hundreds of thousands of boys contact with male mentors.

The Boy Scouts of America now has elaborate rules to prevent both abuse and false accusations. There are 1.2 million Scout leaders, and the organization kicks out about 175 of them a year over abuse allegations or for violating policies.
[photo]

These policies can be intricate. For instance, four adult leaders are needed for each outing. If a sick child must go home, two adults drive him and two stay with the others, so no adult is ever alone with a Scout. "It's protection for the adults, as well as the children," says a Scouts spokesman.

The result of all this hyper-carefulness, however, is that men often feel like untouchables. In Cochranville, Pa., Ray Simpson, a bus driver, says that he used to have 30 kids stop at his house on Halloween. But after his divorce, with people knowing he was a man living alone, he had zero visitors. "I felt like crying at the end of the evening," he says.

At Houston Intercontinental Airport, businessman Mitch Reifel was having a meal with his 5-year-old daughter when a policeman showed up to question him. A passerby had reported his interactions with the child seemed "suspicious."

In Skokie, Ill., Steve Frederick says the director of his son's day-care center called him in to reprimand him for "inappropriately touching the children." "I was shocked," he says. "Whatever did she mean?" She was referring to him reading stories with his son and other kids on his lap. A parent had panicked when her child mentioned sitting on a man's lap.

"Good parenting and good education demand that we let children take risks," says Mr. Frederick, a career coach. "We install playground equipment, putting them at risk of falls and broken bones. Why? We want them to challenge themselves and develop muscles and confidence.

"Likewise, while we don't want sexual predators to harm our kids, we do want our kids to develop healthy relationships with adults, both men and women. Instilling a fear of men is a profound disservice to everyone."

MoveOn.org Political Action: Petition: Bring Our Troops Home

MoveOn.org Political Action: Petition: Bring Our Troops Home

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Are you being stalked by a secret government agency?

Does this happen to you?

When you come home your furniture has been moved?
Are your things damaged or stolen?
Are your work and work area tampered with?
Is your car tampered with overnight?
Do you have constant trouble with your telephone?
Do strangers harass you in public places?
Is your mail delayed, messed with or stolen?
Are your family and friends treating you like dirt?
WHY am I no longer able to sleep
Do you have trouble holding on to a job?

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, you have been targeted for organized stalking.

Anti Organized Stalking (Citizen Harassment Group) Information and Support Site

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Sen. Craig Resigns Over Sex Sting -

What do gay Republicans and dog abusing scum have in common? The same lawyer.

On Saturday, Craig said he would pursue legal options to clear his name. He has retained Billy Martin, a Washington lawyer who represented Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick in his dogfighting case, to pursue his legal options. Washington lawyer Stan Brand will represent Craig before the Senate ethics committee, said spokesman Dan Whiting.



Sen. Craig Resigns Over Sex Sting - The Huffington Post

Thursday, August 30, 2007

It's Sheryl's fault

Perhaps Owen Wilson's real problem was to
get involved with Sheryl Crow? Because Sheryl
is the Black Widow, The Angel of Death.
Sheryl and Owen dated at the turn of the
century. Only seven years later Owen's
life is in disarray. Join the club, mate.

* Ex-boyfriend Kevin Gilbert - died from
autoerotic asphyxiation.
* Ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong - testicular
cancer.
* Crow had a hit with Leaving Las Vegas,
based on a book by John O'Brien, who
committed suicide soon after its release.
* Ex-boyfriend Kid Rock - has Paris Hilton
sniffing around him now.
* She was Jacko's backing singer.
Need we say more?

From Popbitch.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Is DMX raising dogs to fight?

Sheriff Raids DMX' Home, Seizes Dogs - The Huffington Post

Pit Bulls were not being fed or watered at DMX's property. But the story gets worse...

Arpaio said the deputies who served a search warrant at the home Friday seized 12 pit bulls tied up on the property and took them to an old jail that has been converted into an animal shelter.

Deputies found the buried dogs when they dug up the back yard. One had apparently been burned and the cause of death on the others was unknown because the bodies were decomposing.


Sounds to me like maybe he's been raising dogs to fight and the dead ones they found were the losers.


YouTube - Hipster Olympics

YouTube - Hipster Olympics

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I'm thinking about getting one of these

I'm such an impulsive shopper that I am forcing myself to think about it before I buy it for one day. I'm just going to think about it.

What happens is I get drunk, buy things on the internet, and then don't remember it. This one time I went on a bender and 4 weeks later woke up with a real estate license....apparently I was so drunk I took the course every day and forgot about it.

So when I sobered up I went out and sold a house.

Anyway, looks like a pretty good mp3 player for 40 bucks.

ZEN V Plus - A new way to find your ZEN

This is weird

But there's a hot chick, in the shower, with chicken and beer.


YouTube - Pollo de Amstel

Celebrity Quotes


"I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel
like I'm distracting from the other things that
are important, like global warming and that kind
of stuff" -Lindsay Lohan

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I've been busy

YouTube - The Training of O - Julie Night


I haven't been blogging because I've been editing video.

If I go to hell it will be for this,

Sunday, August 19, 2007

LINDSAY FULLY LOADED

YouTube - LINDSAY FULLY LOADED


Summer Glau pic

Here's a pic of Summer Glau from the upcoming series The Sarah Connor Chronicles. She was in Serenity and Firefly.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Don't expect too much. The series is going to be on Fox so expect it to be canceled in 2 months.


The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Saturday, August 18, 2007

On the Road being republishd.

This is like the director's cut version. All the sex and drugs back in.

But when it was first published on September 5, 1957, a good bit of the most explicit sexual content was sliced out and the real names of the characters were swapped for pseudonyms.

The new edition represents the first time average readers will have seen the original manuscript, presented in a "less conventional, more spontaneous" style than the originally-published version, Vlagopoulos explained.

"The reason the original scroll version of 'On the Road' was not published up till now was to avoid lawsuits by those who thought they were defamed or that their privacy had been invaded," said John Sampas, Kerouac's executor.

Beat generation figures such as poet Allen Ginsberg, Neal Cassady and writer William S. Burroughs appear in the novel under their real names instead of their familiar pseudonyms of Carlo Marx, Dean Moriarty and Old Bull Lee.


Uncut edition of Kerouac's 'On The Road' issued 50 years later - Yahoo! News

Mena Suvari is ...I don't know

Here's Mena Suvari, in a crochet bikini and a crewcut, running around on a beach.

Does anyone remember when this chick was hot? I don't.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us


The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

Karl Rove's Dead Gay Dad

Apparently Karl Rove's dad was not only gay, but into piercing. There may be pictures.

Boing Boing: Essay: "I'm the proud owner of Karl Rove’s father’s solid gold cock ring."

Friday, August 17, 2007

This is weird....



Kitten play. A girl pretending to be a kitten. It's probably more creepy than sexy.

No nudity, so I suppose it's safe for work.

Kim Kardashian's Butt in seqins

More pics of the famous butt.


Another underrated beauty



Julie Benz, who was Darla on Buffy and Angel. She's more of a MILF, though.

Sarah Chalke

I think her hotness is way underrated. She's absolutely gorgeous and it's like no one notices.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Gross: Amy Whinehouse's whale tail

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

I didn't need to see that.

YouTube - Big Boobs and You

YouTube - Big Boobs and You

Texas toast

Someone gave me a loaf of Colonial Texas Toast and I was wondering what it was.



Texas toast - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "The Texas toast was first served at the Pig Stands on Calder Avenue in Beaumont, Texas[citation needed]. Royce Hailey requested that the bread from the Rainbo bakery be sliced thicker, but the bread came out too thick for the toaster, so a cook buttered both sides of the bread and placed it on the griddle to toast it medium brown."

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Something I wrote for another site.

The fall of America: Signs of Americas decline - Homeland Security - Helium: "20 Billion dollars for an upgrade to air traffic control that would make all the planes run on time? Why, we can't do that, that's almost 6 more months in Iraq!"

Full Story.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Monday, August 13, 2007

Danica Mckellar as Leia

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

That's right, fanboys, two fantasies at once. Winnie from The Wonder Years and Princess Leia.

Panty Trust

Panty Trust - Home


The Panty Trust verifies that chicks who sell panties on the internet actually wear them. There seem to be a lot of fakers in the industry.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

100 Stoners under a parachute

About a hundred stoners are under a parachute, smoking it out. A cop comes up and they all run at once.

Patricia Heaton stole Homer's Donut!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Flava Flav loves him some porn

EXCLUSIVE! Flavor Flav Loves His Porn! He Gets Lifetime Supply Of XXX Films!


flav.jpgFlavor Flav can’t get enough porn! The star of VH1’s Flavor Of Love has graciously accepted a lifetime supply of porn from SugarDVD (NSFW), an online renter of XXX films, 24Sizzler.com has exclusively learned.

The rabblerousing rapper gushed today, “I want to give a shout out to SugarDVD (NSFW) and thank them for giving me a VIP card and the gift of a lifetime! I have to say, NO one has ever done that for your boy before.”

And needless to say, the ceo of SugarDVD (NSFW), Jax, is pleased with the latest acquisition: “Public Enemy was a leader in the hip-hop movement and continues to entertain and influence people around the world. We are proud to have the one and only Hypeman, Flavor Flav accept our exclusive VIP lifetime membership.”

The film most likely to land up in Flav’s hands, we bet? Hip Hop Honeys: Tasty Flavors. (NSFW)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Talking Dog Anti-drug commerical



This is pretty cool. I wish I had the kind of pot that makes you see talking dogs. Instead I just got the regular kind that makes you hungry.

Hayden Pantierre licking ass


Here is Hayden sticking her hands down the back of her pants and licking it.

I no longer want to have sex with her......That desire is just completly gone, now. Might lunch might go with it.

Mary Kate

Mary-Kate Olsen has turned into Stevie Nicks...

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Helen Hunt, milf or not?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFree Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

I can't decide....

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Back in Black

I've been offline for a week because I moved. AT&T dsl was what I was using before but wasn't available in my new place. Apparently my new compound is too far out in the woods. But not too far for Comcast broadband. So I'm sucking up celeb pics at 8mbps or something like that. Got a burst of 22mbps earlier.

The new compound is a nice place. On top of a mountain. I've got a pool and a pond stocked with catfish, couple horses. Razorwire fence everywhere. All the cameras are networked and the whole place is covered with wifi so I can surf the web while setting in the field of marijuana plants.

Got a couple followers that might end up in the pig food, though. They threw beer cans on my salvia divinorum plants.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Scientology Muder Scandal?

Some are saying the apparent double suicide of Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan was, it is alleged, an assassination carried out by the Church of Scientology against a couple who caused them too much trouble.

Blake did an album cover for noted Scientologist Beck several years ago and that is it is rumored the Scientology harassment began. Some even whisper that Beck himself gave the order that the couple would convert or be killed.

Karin Pouw, a spokeswoman for the Church of Scientology, denied the allegations, saying, "Never heard of these people. This is completely untrue."

80's music

The Post Punk Progressive Pop Partyis a blog dedicated to posting clips and events from "On this date in 80s music history."

Yesterday was, "Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five - The Message".

Thursday, July 26, 2007

5 Hottest News Chicks


Once we had to deal with three networks and had no choice but to look at Dan Rather. Now we get a pleasant stream of gorgeous women with great cleavage and short skirts.
via Thenettimes.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Jessica Alba is single....


and you'll still never be with her.

Story.

LIfe during wartime


Israeli girls buying ice cream while on break from army duties.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan busted, blah, blah, blah

The most interesting thing about all of this is I found out her middle name is Dee.

Lindsay Dee Lohan. It's so white trash, don't you think?

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Monday, July 16, 2007

The one who was foretold, he has come

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This mysterious symbol was found next to the Giant of Wessex. Our savior has come!

A bunch of pagans are pissed that it's next to their giant naked man with an erect penis. They feel that it somehow degrades the nudity, or something.

Don't you think the ancient people put that up as a joke? It was probably some drunk stoneage teens who did the equivalent of climbing up on the water tower and painting a big dick. And now that big dick is historical.

I think the drunken teens who made it would have worshipped Homer Simpson as a god.

Link.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I don't care what anyone says...

Suri Cruise is Asian. Look at this kids face. There's no way Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes could have had that baby unless one of them has a mother that's Asian.

The Scientologists stole that child from someone and gave it to Tom. It really wouldn't surprise me if that child is the Anti-Christ.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

FCC Gone Wild!


The latest is WPIX New York, which the FCC says has to pay a $15,000 fine for violating its limits on TV advertising in kids shows eight times.
via BroadcastNewsroom



The Pokemon character appeared in a commercial that ran during the Pokemon show. The FCC says that turns the whole show into an ad. Which isn't illegal, per se, but it does mean that the station went over the limit on time.

Or, they could just stop hassling the kids. The government doesn't so much want to protect the children, it just wants to meddle. If a kid is too poor to eat and can't read, that doesn't matter. Just don't let them watch tv we don't approve of!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Teh intarwebs is a bunch of tubes!

It's not a truck!

Now the crazy old man from Alaska, Ted Stevens wants to switch providers while he's on his motorcycle. from whatever.

I thought this was cute



Yeah, it's done with cgi. But it's funny. Not safe for work.

Here's the code. If you copy and paste it to your website it will figure out the city the visitor is from and send them a message.
<a href="http://www.fling.com/enter.php?prg=2&amp;id=nyxxxx&t=best&ad_id=citybanner-300x250_1"><img src="http://promos.fling.com/geo/state/city/image.php?file=300x250_1.jpg" border="1" height="250" width="300" />

I really don't think this is true....

But I have some sort of duty to report the news.

Heh, I said dooty.

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - METALLICA Guitarist Says His Pet Dog Was Penetrated By Next-Door Neighbor: "Hammett explains: 'I went to my neighbor's. The guy took down his pants and started having sex with the dog! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. When he got up, I just took the dog and left. She was still wagging her tail.'"

Charlie Sheen's bling

Celebrity Gossip Blog: The Daily Blabber from iVillage Entertainment: "Charlie and Mrs. Sheen-to-be, Brooke Mueller, took a quick trip to Costa Rica for a little R&R, when the actor presented her with, what he called, a 'Welcome to Costa Rica' gift. Out came a bling watch, with this engraved on the back:

'B. - Wanna get married? . . . Love - C.'"


See, Charlie won it from a guy named Chris in a poker game. He didn't know it had that engraved on it until the bitch turned it over and saw it! Man, him and the girls at the brothel are all going to laugh about this when he finally dumps her ass!

Star Jones coming to CourtTV


Court TV is adjourning in favor of truTV. The network on Wednesday announced its name would change, effective Jan.

It's because they hired Star Jones and she don't like all that legal stuff. It hurts her head. So they're going to turn it into yet another women's channel.
via MyFOX Atlanta

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Is Beyonce a Roboho?

TMZ RESPONDS TO SHARPTON’S ‘ROBOHO’ LETTER: He's the latest to site’s description of Beyonce outfit. - Topix


All Sharpton is mad at TMZ because someone over there called Beyonce a Roboho for wearing this outfit.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Come on, Al. Look what she's wearing. She's dressed like a robot whore. Aren't you a preacher? I think you should be coming down on Beyonce for dressing like that.

Dear Hollywood, please stop

They are remaking Footloose. It was a really stupid movie the first time around. It was only big because of the great soundtrack and marketing. At the time every week there was a new song from Footloose being played on the radio, months before the movie even came out. If it hadn't been for that it would have gone the way of Crazy For You. Remember that? With Adrienne Barbeau as the older seductress? No, you don't. You probably remember the Madonna song of the same name.

Here's the formula for crazy success in Hollywood.

Make a bad movie that's ripping off some other old movie. Add a soundtrack. Get nostalgic idiots to turn it into a cult film. Then have someone make it an all singing, all dancing Broadway Musical. Then make that into a movie.

Here's a few examples.
Little Shop of Horrors, Xanadu, Hairspray, and now Footloose. There are other examples but I'm too stoned to think of them right now.

It's just a matter of time before they make Friday the 13th a musical. Or maybe they did already, I wasn't paying attention.

I just thought this was weird and cool

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Here's an old KFC commercial.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Something strange from Japan



I'm not entirely sure what the point of this commercial is. But the moral seems to be, breasts are dangerous.

Simpsons Officially Vermonters

kdka.com - Vt. Town Named 'Simpsons' Official Home: "(AP) SPRINGFIELD, Vt. It's Duff time in Springfield, Vt., which on Tuesday was proclaimed the official hometown of TV's favorite dysfunctional family, the Simpsons."



I always figured they were from Missouri. There's a lot of rednecks, there, like Cletus and family. But it's not the south because they don't have accents. Plus, how can they be from Vermont? There aren't any trees in the cartoon. No one ever says anything about maple syrup, either.

Top 5 sexy vids of all time, maybe NSFW

How do you go about rating what it the sexiest video clip of all-time? Sexy seems to be a perception and changes from one to the next. YouTube and its many spin off clones have given us the format to identify the top five based upon ratings and most viewed. From there we also took into account how long the video clip has been in circulation, which is the lasting factor. Some video clips gain viral fame in a matter of weeks and are forgotten. Others however are timeless and have carried on long since their post. So let us get on with the countdown. #5 Porn Stars’ Favorite Positions - watch it now This is a wonderful collection of interviews outside the Erotica LA convention. The most sexed up women in the world are forced to name one position that is their favourite. The answers are jaw dropping to say the least. One starlet explains how the only panties she ever owned was ripped off by the guy she was trying to impress and she has never bought another pair. She went on to say that her favorite position was face down, bound hands behind her back, with a ball in her mouth, and no blindfold because she like to see what is going on.
#4 Suicide Girls – watch it now These girls sure do know how to put on a show. Up to the point when I saw this video, my experience with the Suicide Girls was an episode of CSI Miami. After watching this I have found a new attraction to girls in goth with tattoos. It was hard to watch this video clip twenty or thirty times without developing some type of fetish. It is amazing the type of wardrobes you can make out of just a few strips of black electrical tape. #3 Hot Girls Kissing – watch it now Here is a video clip of video clips. Some random guy put together this masterpiece one late night on his computer. This guy turned god has given us mere mortals a gift. One part Howard Stern, two parts Jenna J, and one part Jenna Haze makes for a happy boy any time of the day. #2 Ginger vs. Mary Ann Pie Fight – watch it now This one has an appeal that cuts through generations of men. Your grandfather will love this because of his personal fantasies dating back to when Gilligan’s Island was the most watched television show on land or sea. It was first part of a commercial for a reality show, and then it was released on the internet and took on a life of its own. #1 Miller Lite Catfight – watch it now It is only fitting that an extended version of a beer commercial comes it at number one. Thirty years ago the advertising executives figured out what beer drinkers like to watch and super bowl commercials have never been the same. The simple man loves to see hot girls with large breasts. A few years ago they decided to put it over the top with two of the hottest girls on the planet having a cat fight in the middle of the city. Hopefully this will someday be in the top 5 greatest article of all time.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Fish Heads

Rolly polly Fish heads
Are never seen drinking
Cappacino in Italian restaurants
With Oriental women...Yeah

When I was a kid they showed this on MTV. Everyone talked about it. It was mythical. But they might only show it once a month at 3 in the morning, or 1 in the afternoon. But they showed it for several years. I think they did it as a joke. But it became a prototypical cultural meme at our school. For at least a year there someone would break out and sing it.

I only ever saw the actual video once. It's actually weirder than I thought.


Rachal Ray's Divorce


RAY OF HOPE? | | Gossip - New York Post Online Edition


It seems that Rachael Ray will soon be single.

Yeah, I'm shining up the old brown shoes and putting on a brand new shirt for that one. I'm sure she'll date me! If I just believe hard enough!

Here's pics of her third nipple, a nipslip and assorted other Rachael Ray hotness.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

London, England - In what Christians everywhere are calling a "victory for Jesus' love," Bloomsbury Publishing has capitulated, in the face of countless death threats from angry Christian school children, their parents and a prominent garden club in Hertfordshire, and announced that it will edit out several lurid lines from an explicit anal sex scene between a coquettish and greased-up Harry Potter and a very drunk, opportunistic Rubeus Hagrid in the final J.K. Rowling Book, "The Deathly Hallows."


Thank God!

Now maybe we can get on with what Harry Potter is really about, corrupting children into our satanic witchcraft church!

Is Nicole Richey a genius?

Amanda Guinzburg: Weighting For Nicole - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "It's about Nicole Richie. I have to be honest with you. I think Nicole Richie might be some kind of genius performance artist. How else do you explain the fact that she manages to use her single teensy body to contain the entire pop-culture zeitgeist?"


My take, um...no, she's just lucky. But it's an interesting theory. I used to think Nicole was prettier than Paris before the girl got all spooky skinny. I likes my wimmen with some meat!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth

Who cares? It's not like anyone good will actually be there. And, yes, I'm including the Police. Their show at Bonnaroo sucked. There's a reason some bands are meant to break up.

Whatever.

Britney dating her AA sponsor

Britney's AA Counselor Confirms They're Dating - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "AA counselor John Sundahl claims he is dating Britney Spears.

The recovered alcoholic says Britney chatted him up at their Alcoholics Anonymous meetings before asking him out more than two months ago."

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.





That's really agains the rules in AA. I would care, but hell, I'm stoned right now!

Here's a quote about violating "The 13th Step".

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.

Clearly, playing fast and loose with another person’s life is irresponsible and reprehensible.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog: "The 34-year-old, who insists he doesn't 'smoke weed', tells Playboy magazine, 'Two white teenagers came to my house. I don't get too much company, so I looked out the peephole. I was in my housecoat. I had a do-rag on my head. They said, 'We're your neighbors. Do you want to smoke some weed?' Then they started quoting from Friday. 'It's Friday. You ain't got no job! You ain't got s--- to do!' So I've got neighbors' kids knocking on my door, looking to smoke weed with Smokey.'"


Wow, it's so much like my life. Anyone want to come over and smoke a bowl?

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Kim Kardashian's Butt

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This has gone way beyond the point where she has a big, beautiful, sexy butt, and to the point where I think she has some kind of ass cancer.

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News: "The deputies said they smelled marijuana and searched the car, Amormino said. They found less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, which is used for attention deficit disorder, he said."


Shouldn't be any problem, can't someone just pardon him like they did Libby? Oh, wait, he's a Democrat, not a republican. I guess that means he's going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

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Shot at 2007-07-04