Friday, June 30, 2006
The 53-year-old actor, who played lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on the TV beach drama for 11 years, was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, his publicist, Judy Katz, said.
Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. I bet he was having gay sex in the bathroom and refused to pay so he got cut.
Or maybe he was tied up and hanging from the chandelier in some bdsm thing and it went horribly wrong.
I've been in a lot of gyms and there's never once been a chandelier in the bathroom. Do famous people have different bathrooms?
Thursday, June 29, 2006
K-fed was the first to sign a petition to stop DC from removing the penny from circulation. The whole thing is part of a Virgin Mobile publicity stunt.
K-fed loves pennys because that's how much he's worth without all Brit's money.
STOCKTON, Calif. - Former "Saturday Night Live" cast member Rob Schneider was taken to a Northern California hospital after collapsing from food poisoning and heat exhaustion during the filming of an upcoming movie.
Remember, "food poisoning" and "exhaustion" are Hollywood code words for drug overdose. Or maybe the movie is so bad that the gods struck him down in an effort to stop it from being made. Personally I think it was the latter becaue Rob just isn't cool enough to be doing drugs. He's lucky his colon didn't leap up through his body and try to strangle him.
Christina Aguilera has apparently gone crazier than a rat that lives in a septic tank.
During promo interviews
she's refused to look at any journalist.
Instead, the diva insists that the interview,
for which she's usually two to four hours late,
takes place in a dimly lit room, where she sits
and stares in the other direction completely
to the journalists while they ask, and she
It's like psych therapy. I bet she lies down on a couch and tells them about her childhood. "And then Britney was so mean to me after the Mickey Mouse show. She wouldn't let me use any of her lip gloss."
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
After reading it I think I'm on my way!
Here's the list.
- You aren't kamikaze enough to risk your career by revealing the soul crushing absurdity of your job. That's probably true. I don't really have an interesting career, either. I'd torpedo it, but no one would care.
- You aren't sufficiently vain or presumptuous to declare yourself a hot twentysomething female (even if it's true). Actually I could do that, I just don't want to. I'm all man, baby.
- You lack a diagnosed sleep disorder, minor substance abuse problem, mercurial temperament and/or innate desire to alienate loved ones. Hell, I've got 3 out of 4 of those. You'll have to guess which ones.
- You're not ready to declare on the internet what you really think about the raging hypocrites nesting in your life. Why, yes, yes I am. In fact I often get into trouble for telling them to their faces what assclowns they are.
- You have yet to explore the wonders of shameless self-promotion, groveling, and media whoring. Profiles in the New York Times don't always come free. Well, I don't grovel, but I'm really good at the self-promotion. As for the media whoring, I'll have those melonballers wrapped around my little finger. And fsck the New York Times. They're dead media. Lapdogs and ball lickers of power and the establishment. I actually have more respect for the Weekly World News. At least they didn't sell their integrity to that little monkey George W. Bush.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
cancer of the esophogus at Hollywood Presbyterian Queen of Angels
Hospital on June 26, 2006. She and Wood were together for
27 years before the director's death in December of 1978.
Ed was a man you could admire. He was never good at anything but he never stopped making movies. He knew they were crap and he just kept on.
Tom & Nicole: Never Married? - Yahoo! News: "The BBC reported Monday that, while there has been speculation that Kidman got her first marriage annulled so that she and
Keith Urban could say their 'I do's' in a Catholic chapel, it turns out that, because she and Cruise swapped vows upon the altar that L. Ron Hubbard built, she wasn't legally married in the first place--as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, that is."
Even the Catholics say the Scientologists are a bunch of fakes.
Limbaugh's Viagra Fall? - Yahoo! News: "The radio pundit, currently serving 18 months of court supervion in his healdine-making prescription fraud case, was detained Monday at Palm Beach International Airport Monday after officials found a bottle of the little blue pills in Limbaugh's luggage with someone else's name on the label.
According to the talk show host's attorney, Roy Black, Limbaugh was not reverting back to his fraudulent ways, and claimed the incident instead was a misunderstanding. "
Man, that's a good lawyer. He's probably up in court making weird hand gestures and saying, "These are not the drugs you are looking for." That's a Jedi Lawyer, worth every penny he's paid, even if he is on the dark side.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Today I saw something that I liked. It's a little off topic, but it fits in with the overall philosophy of the site.
Soldiers in Iraq are putting together their own isp's because the net access the army provides sucks so much.
Since the military provides just 6 to 12 computers for every 1,000 or so troops, time limits of 10 to 15 minutes per day are often enforced at Morale Welfare Recreation Cafés (the complicated name for military internet cafés). Anyone who sorts through spam, reads forwarded articles and jokes, then tries to respond to “real” email knows 15 minutes isn't enough. Josh Hines, a soldier from Conway who recently returned from Iraq , confirmed that the Army lacks internet services and lamented the scarcity of entertainment options.
It should come as no surprise, then, that some enterprising military personnel have engineered an alternative. Hajjinets, the common term for troop-owned ISPs, have sprung to life on almost every base around Iraq. A typical Hajjinet is built and maintained by one or two soldiers and can provide nearly 24-hour internet access (until the region is stabilized and electrical lines can be installed, generators must occasionally be powered down for maintenance). Most Hajjinets are small, serving between 20 and 30 troops, but ISPs serving as many as 300 are known to exist. In a country wracked by war, where even the capital city receives only intermittent electricity, where people's lives are in constant peril, and where even basic necessities are scarce, this is no small victory.
It's a pretty long article. I think what they're doing is great. When the big telcos and the government finally get their shit together and start controlling our access to the net you'll see things like this popping up in your own neighborhood.
So more power to them.
Oh, and quit the damn Army, you buncha dumbasses. If the people in charge of it can't run an isp how the hell are they ever going to put Iraq back together? I've got no problem with soldiers...I have a lot of friends and family in the military. My problem is with the military itself. The time for that sort of centralized control and discipline is over.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Saddam ends hunger strike after missing one meal - Yahoo! News: "The former Iraqi leader had refused lunch Thursday in protest at the killing of one of his lawyers by gunmen, but the spokesman said he ate his evening meal."
Dude, that's not a hunger strike, that's a diet.
Not even a very difficult diet. Guy drinks a slimfast and calls it an act of protest. I say we make him go on the fatkins diet for a few months.
So far this one is my favorite.
She's 90% more slutty and 1/3 less dorky than the others....and you have to be pretty dorky to be an intern in DC.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Remember Theo from the Cosby Show? That's him at the T-Mobile Launch Party. He looks horrible...I thought it was Issac Hayes at first. Hello Chirren!
How much are they paying all these no-talent "stars" to show up at the party? Since when are cell phone parties the cool place to be?
Jillian....well I know the name. All of the tv shows and movies she's been on are universally crap. Also, do you realize she's 40 years old? She must rub herself down with chopped up Chinese embryo's or something.
Here she is making out with a tiger. She's certainly a goofy bitch.
SYDNEY (Reuters) - Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman, who will
marry country singer Keith Urban this weekend in Sydney, may have at
last found true love, said the Catholic priest who will perform the
Jesuit Father Paul Coleman, who met the couple this week to discuss
their marriage expected on Sunday, said he had a "good feeling about
He went on to say, "I also feel good about my chances of getting a feel of an altar boy in the confessional after mass."
Thursday, June 22, 2006
MONKEES frontman DAVY JONES has launched astonishing attack on dead
rockers KURT COBAIN, JIMI HENDRIX, ELVIS PRESLEY and JANIS JOPLIN,
questioning why society worships people who wasted their lives. The
61-year-old I'M A BELIEVER singer insists they wouldn't have been
idolised if they were still alive. Jones says, "I don't have a lot of
respect for people like Jimi Hendrix, or Kurt Cobain, or Janis Joplin
or Elvis Presley, because they all killed themselves in one way or
another. "Although I often wonder what they'd be doing now if they were
still alive. Would they be these crumbling lookalikes of the same
people, greeting people at the entrance of Caesar's Palace?"
So is that your excuse, Davy? Maybe you should have considered overdose as a career move.
Before talking this sort of trash you should really learn to play an instrument other than the tamborine.
Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar are swatting down rumors
that they've split. The couple have been married since the fall of 2002
(an eternity, in celebrity years), but sources say that lately they've
been living separate romantic lives. "Ever since he started that show
'Freddie' things were over," sniped a source. Leslie Sloane Zelnik, who
reps both Prinze, 30, and the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star, 29,
assured us that the couple were still "completely together" and even
"spending this weekend together at [Zelnik's] house in Connecticut."
Ok, here's a clue, people. When you're really not breaking up you don't have to have your publicist issue a statement.
Usually the first place I hear a rumor is when someone is denying it. That's how I know it's true.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Former band members Jon Moss, Phil Pickett and Mikey Craig
are searching for three or four "young, great singers".
(Translation: guys who won't upstage us like George did.)
A television company wants to follow the reunited Culture Club, who(Translation: it's going to be for a lame-ass reality tv show.)
might embark on a world tour in 2007, according to manager Tony Gordon.
He says, "We cannot replace George - that's going to be an impossibility."
(Translation: George wouldn't do it.)
"We want to keep the brand but give it an uplift and make it fun,
great fun. Culture Club music was always joyous. We need that right
now, we need a nice, happy band."
(Translation: George is a bitch and none of us can get along with him. Also, he knows he doesn't need us.)
No thank you old man, I don't want to join the Scientologists. You're little Asian friend is cute, though. Can I have her?
Hey fat man! Have a look at my skinny butt while I pick up my cigs and cell phone.
Aaron Spelling resting after stroke - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES - Aaron Spelling, producer of TV's 'Beverly Hills, 90210' and 'Charlie's Angels,' suffered a stroke at his Holmby Hills estate over the weekend and was being treated at home, his publicist said Wednesday.
'He had a stroke Sunday at home,' said spokesman Kevin Sasaki. 'I don't know the extent of it. But if it had been some incredible degree, he would have been taken to the hospital.'"
Doctors said they weren't aware of any paralysis...except to his sense of character and plot.
"June 21, 2006 -- LINDSAY Lohan and Sean Combs are at war. At a private concert by Prince at Butter last Friday, when Lohan got up to argue with Paris Hilton over Stavros Niarchos, Puffy and his posse squeezed into her table. 'There were only like six tables,' a witness says. 'Everyone was sharing, but Lindsay refused and began mixing it up with Puffy. His bodyguards came over and picked Lindsay up to get her out.' A member of Diddy's camp confirmed, 'Lindsay was being so loud and obnoxious. His security became concerned and came over to escort her away.'"
If Lindsay was a really big star her bodyguards would have beaten up Puffy's bodyguards. But she's not. One day, after she dies from a coke overdose, this will all be a tv movie. I voluteer to write the screenplay.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
"He called me up and said, `Would you do this?' And I said, `I don't want to be a judge!' And he said, `Come on, it's fun! You're funny!'"
And, shrugged Hasselhoff, "Because it's Simon, I did it."
I'm now starting a petition to have Simon Cowell tell Hasselhoff to jump out of an airplane while singing that "oogachaka" song...but without wearing a chute.
Kylie Minogue's sister. S0me people think she's hot. I think those people are blind asstards.
She's, what, 26? She already needs a facelift. Plus she's got scarred knees and a really horrible fashion sense. She looks like a divorced soccer mom going out on a date with some guy she met on match.com.
This is what people starving to death in bizzarro world look like. In bizarro world they have money for bikinis, beaches and cell phones, but none for food.
Nicole used to be cute. Now she looks like the before picture in a skin cancer warning ad.