Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Thursday, March 29, 2007

How dorky is this?

Students give up social networks for Lent - "(CNN) -- For some, it's chocolate. For others, it's coffee or cigarettes. But as this Easter approaches, some young and devout Christians are anxious to return to what they gave up for Lent: Internet sites Facebook and MySpace."

Jessica Biel in underwear

With Jessica it's all about the butt. More pics here.

Lindsay Lohan pokies

Must be really cold in LA.

Rose McGowan cleavage

This is from the Grindhouse premiere.

Madonna quote

"I was a buffoon and an idiot until the age
of 40" - Madonna

Here's a pic of her with hairy pits.

Teen Wolf to be remade

New TV Superman Tom Welling has given the Teen Wolf film franchise a boost after reportedly signing on for a new movie. In the new Teen Wolf, a remake of Michael J. Fox's 1985 movie, the fun-loving werewolf of the title will be played by a female. Website reports that Smallville star Welling will be part of the supporting cast of the new film.

Stupid, but maybe the teen wolf will have nice tits.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Did you know that the Dukes of Hazzard were based on real people?

Jerry Rushing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Jerry Rushing (born Monroe, North Carolina) is an American best known for his years as a bootlegger or 'moonrunner' (moonshine runner).

Rushing was born into a family business making illegal whiskey. As a young man he became a delivery driver, a job requiring late-night high-speed driving, often without headlights; for this he used a modified 1958 Chrysler 300D capable of 140 mph (225 km/h) speeds, easily more than most police vehicles"

Kwik-E-Mart coming to a town near you

It appears as though the world's largest convenience store will get Simpsonized, though 7-Eleven Inc. said the deal isn't done yet.

Customers also will be able to buy products inspired by the nearly two-decades-old show, including KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees (the cup says Squishee, but the contents will be Slurpee).

I want to meet Apu.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

McCain's myspace page hacked

Today I announce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay marriage…particularly marriage between two passionate females.

John McCain's myspace page used a template made by Mike Davidson. Anyone can use it but you aren't supposed to hotlink the images and you have to give Davidson credit. The McCain team didn't do that, so Davidson changed the hotlinked image to show how much McCain supports gay marriage.

Today in celebrity news..

Absolutely nothing happened and no one gave a damn.

So here's a picture of a redneck bride.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' daughter likes condoms

Here's some pics of her playing with them from her facebook.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Britney has a small dog coming out of her crotch

I guess that's her newest kid.

Winona Ryder boobies

I was so in love with her in Heathers. Here she is showing off cleavage.

The truth about white tigers

Meet the real captive-bred white tiger « Tipped Ear Clan

Three-and-a-half years on from almost being
killed by his white tiger, Montecore, Roy
Horn is alive and even walking. He lives in
constant pain, does not yet have use of his
left side or leg and does many hours of rehab
and exercise every day, but as Horn died
four times and was told he'd never walk again,
he's not complaining.

"A doctor would try to pull a sheet over my
head and I would push it back," says Roy.
"He said `He won't make it,' and I started to
meditate. I knew everything would be okay.
God said it wasn't my time to go."

Roy has vowed to return to show business - for
the sake of his tigers. "The animals are
waiting, too, to do something again."

However, not everyone loves Roy and his
lifetime's work breeding white tigers. Animal
rights activists say there is a 80% white
tiger stillbirth rate and, as the tigers are
so in-bred, the most common result is a
deformed, mentally sub-normal mutant.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Cincinatti calls the Dukes of Hazzard racist, Cooter pissed

Cincy Refuses to Hazard a Dukes Appearance - Yahoo! News

Former Georgia Congressman
Ben Jones, who played mechanic Cooter on the Dukes of Hazzard TV series, is up in arms over a decision by the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra to cancel an upcoming appearance by two of his onetime costars.

Anna Nicole hated sex

According to her secret diaries, which are for sale on ebay

"'I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex!'"

The diaries also prove that she was really in love with the old man she married. In the diaries she said, "My husband is very sick. I want every hour to comfort him."

Friday, March 16, 2007

People banned from SNL

Infamous moments in Saturday Night Live history - Zimbio

Banned people include,

Frank Zappa
Elvis Costello
Charles Grodin
Milton Berle
Andy Kaufman
and others.

Tila Tequila has no real friends

Tila Tequila's 1.7 Million "Friends" Not Giving Single a Shot - "Tila Tequila may be the most popular person ever on MySpace, but it turns out not very many of her 1.7 million friends wanted to shell out a buck for her first single, 'I Love U.'

In the first week after the single's release, only 13,000 copies of the single were sold, or less than 1 percent of her MySpace posse"

Thursday, March 15, 2007

David Lee Roth, Velvet Revolver feud

It seems the reason that David Lee Roth didn't perform at the Hall of Fame ceremony is that Velvet Revolver thought the song "Jump" was dumb.

Chicago Tribune | Pop Machine: "'Kinda what happened was, he wanted to sing the song ‘Jump.’ We felt from an artistic standpoint, and I’m being totally honest with you, that it wasn’t a song we felt comfortable with. We don’t have keyboards. To bring a keyboard on stage wouldn’t work for us. We said we’d do ‘Jamie’s Cryin’ ’ or ‘You Really Got Me,’ and he was adamant that wasn’t okay.'"

Drop the artistic integrity bullshit. You were there to be a tribute band. There's nothing lamer than a tribute band.

So just drop all that art crap. You're lame, you suck. Just shut up and play the song that the many you were there to honor wanted you to play.

Brit's new boyfriend

Brit met a new guy in rehab. Here's his myspace page.

Elton John banned in Trinidad?

Next month's Plymouth Jazz Festival in
Tobago features a headline appearance by Elton
John. Not all islanders approve. Breakfast TV
show Rise & Shine this week had a phone-in about
Elton. Presenters refused to condemn a caller
who thought Elton should be subjected to earthly
hellfire for his "poisonous" lifestyle, while
another asked, "Is it your understanding that he
is planning a hideous nude gay orgy on stage or
in private during his visit?". Callers
complaining about the homophobia were told on
air, "Opinions are like noses, everyone has one".

Now a Tobago lawyer has unearthed a section
of the Trinidad and Tobago immigration
code which bans self-professed homosexuals
from entering the country, and a Church crusade
is underway to try and make the government
enforce it. Music fans on the island are hoping
Elton manages to get through this gauntlet of
hate...they say they'd rather LL Cool J
was banned from the jazz festival instead.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Possibly the dumbest thing I've even seen

It's Celine Dion doing a cover of "You shook me all night long" by AC/DC.

Tonya Harding Update

Ever wonder what Tonya Harding is doing? Well she's living in a trailer, taking "new medication" and seeing animals. She has also gained a lot of weight and become a "fat ass".

I was poking around and found out her official website has a collection of erotic fiction stories about her.

Clark County sheriff's deputies responded to two calls early Sunday morning involving Harding.

Police reports described Harding as "very agitated" and "tweaking out."

According to a police report, Harding said four men and a woman tried to break into her car and steal it shortly after 5 a.m. In his report, the deputy wrote that Harding's account was "very implausible."

Harding told police she was on "new medication" and was experiencing an adverse reaction.

Later that same morning, police received another call regarding Harding, this time from a friend who told authorities the skater was "seeing animals."

The deputy took Harding back to her trailer and checked her home to "put her at ease."

Her dream is to have a baby and be on Girls Gone Wild

YouTube - 15 Year Old Who Wants a Baby

Scary Spice living up to her name

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Iran angry about 300

The Raw Story | Tehran condemns "anti-Iranian" movie 300: "Iran's has called foul over what it calls 'deviation of history'
but also because the Persians in the film were shown as 'ugly and
violent creatures rather than human beings.'

The news network Khabar organised a special programme in which the
film was evaluated from several angles by film critics who argued
that the film's alleged efforts to expose Persians as violent was a
US political plot implemented through Hollywood and the Warner Bros.

They are saying they will send so many angry letters that it will blot out the sun.

The head of Warner Bros said, "So much the better, we shall fight in the shade."

Paris Hilton got a boob job

Looks like she had something done to her nose, too.

Angelina getting a new rug rat

Official: Angelina Jolie Free to Get New Son Soon | Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt :

She's bought some Vietnamese kid, this time.

Jolie, 31, will be free to pick up the child any time after the approval is granted, he said.

Ok, there's no way Angelina is only 31. She's got to be lying.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Burger King: The Movie

Burger King's Chief Of Marketing Announces "Burger King: The Movie" - Consumerist: "Yes, according to MSN, Russ Klein, Burger King's president of global marketing strategy, has announced a Burger King movie starring the creepy masked 'Burger King.' He tells MSN that Burger King has already 'lined up a studio and distributor for a feature film.'"

This is horrible and dumb.

Courtney Love owes rehab mone

So this is why she has to whore out Nirvana songs for commercials.

Courtney Love Sued Over Rehab Bill - March 7, 2007: "MARCH 9--A swanky California drug treatment facility claims that Courtney Love spent three months there in late-2005 and has since ignored demands to pay her outstanding $181,000 tab."

The Pope hates Bob Dylan

When Bob Dylan appeared in concert for the previous Pope, John Paul, the current pope, who was then Cardinal Ratzinger, was opposed.

Pope opposed Bob Dylan singing to John Paul in 1997 - Yahoo! News: "'There was reason to be skeptical, -- I was, and in a certain sense I still am, -- to doubt if it was really right to let these types of prophets intervene,' Benedict writes, only mentioning Dylan among the stars who appeared."

Britney on Star Trek

Finally we find out the real reason that Britney shaved her head. She wants to be the next captain on Star Trek.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Breakup Letter, Dramatic reading

This is what happens when drama students read myspace breakup emails.

Breakup Letter, Dramatic reading

Bugs Bunny is jealous of Mickey Mouse

When Warner Brothers allowed Bugs Bunny to be used in the movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" they required "the character could only appear in scenes opposite of Mickey Mouse and that the characters must have the same number of words of dialogue."

Apparently Mickey and Bugs have some sort of celebrity beef going.

Rest in Peace, John Inman

The gay guy from the British sitcom, "Are You Being Served" has passed away at the age of 71.

John Inman - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Obit in the Telegraph.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Blues Traveller Busted

John Popper got busted doing over 100 miles an hour. The Pigcops who trampled on his rights found many secret compartments in the SUV filled with weapons and a little bit of weed.

KOMO-TV - Seattle, Washington - News - Troopers clock 'Blues Traveler' singer's SUV going more than 100 mph: "The vehicle also had flashing emergency headlights, a siren and a public address system, the Patrol said.

'Popper indicated to troopers that he had installed these items in his vehicle because (in the event of a natural disaster) he didn't want to be left behind,' the Patrol said."

Protest Courtney Love

I got pissed off because Courtney Love let the Nirvana song Breed be used in a commercial. So in protest, I microwaved her cd.

Here's the video. Rise up! Microwave Courtney Love cds in protest!

Paris Hilton goes to the supermarket!

I thought rich people hired other people to do their shopping for them? Apparently Paris was out of condoms, home pregnancy tests, rolling papers and conditoner.

Paris Hilton is a supermarket bitch · Celebslam: They're Better Than Us: "Hilton ordered a female shopper to stop blocking the aisle with her cart. The much-older woman apparently didn’t hear her - and didn’t budge - so…Ker-SMAASH!… Paris rammed her cart into her opponent’s and shrieked,

“That’s what you get for being rude and blocking the aisle!” Stunned, the addled dame yelled, “You’re the one who’s rude, slamming me with your cart!”"

Now OJ says he's Anna Nicole's babydaddy

Damn, OJ, ain't there nothing you won't stick your nose into?

Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Please don't kill me OJ!

O.J. A SMITH DAD CANDIDATE - Pagesix - New York Post Online Edition

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Nipple Tint

Benefit Touts Benetint as Nipple Paint -- New York Magazine: "“For a long time, the idea of a ripe, rosy nipple has been considered appealing and alluring.’’"

I know I do.

So if any of you ladies have been using this stuff send me pics.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant!

Check out the baby bump! SMG is having a baby Buffy.

Last week she was wearing this. Which is pretty much a sack designed to hide her bump. It's pretty obvious from the bikini pics she's preggers.

Kristen Dunst is smart!

Here she is seen reading Carl Sagan and smoking.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Princess Di's dad accuses Prince and brother of murder

'I WILL see Charles and Philip in court' - al Fayed | News | This is London: "He declared: 'I want Charles and Philip together in court. These are the people who ordered the murder.'"

How unsurprising is that? Isn't that what Kings and Queens do? Kill each other?

More evidence of Clenbuterol abuse

E! News - Nicole Richie Treated for Dehydration - Nicole Richie | Paris Hilton: "The Simple Life star was treated for dehydration Friday while working on the E! reality series.

Richie apparently felt ill, was examined by an on-set doctor and then taken to a nearby hospital. She received intravenous fluids for 15 minutes and was released. "

Here's the previous story about Clenbuterol and the problems it causes.

So easy a tv exec can do it

ABC is making a sitcom pilot based on the Geico cavemen. - ABC developing 'Cavemen': "'Cavemen' will revolve around three pre-historic men who must battle prejudice as they attempt to live as normal thirtysomethings in modern Atlanta.

Project, from ABC TV Studio, is penned by Joe Lawson, an advertising copywriter who was behind the 'Caveman' ads -- as well as other Geico commercials (think the cockney-speaking Geico gecko, and the reality TV spoof 'Tiny House')."

I feel sorry for the cavemen. It's like it's ok to discriminate against them because they don't exist? How is that fair? Didn't Martin Luther King Jr's dream apply to Cavemen?

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The time has come to kill Courtney Love

When everyone else hated Courtney I didn't. She put out a few good tracks, a few good songs. I didn't believe she killed Kurt. I thought everyone should cut her some slack.

Well, screw all that. Now the is the time to rise up and kill that bitch. You know why? She allowed the Nirvana song "Breed" to be used for a damn video game commercial. That's right, Nirvana in a commercial. Hell, why not just let "Smells like Teen Spirit" be used for the deodorant of the same name. "Come as You Are" could be a commercial for condoms. "Heart Shaped Box" can be used by Russel Stover candies for Valentine's day. I'm sure Taco Bell or someone will pay for the song "Mexican Seafood".

I pray that Zombie Kurt Cobain will rise from his grave and kill her and Dave Grohl. Then I want him to make a new solo album.

More Charlotte Church

Screw you, world.

Several years ago when I was making my living from selling things on ebay, I shipped an order to a guy.

He bought a Charlotte Church cd. I got confused and sent him a Hello Kitty vibrator. He got all pissed and left me bad feedback on ebay.

So I left him this feedback, "Ordered gay porn dvd, then got mad because it wasn't gay enough." He made his feedback hidden after that.

I wonder if he regrets all of that, now. Charlotte has become one of us.

Since this site is supposed to be safe for work, I'll just link to this pic. Which is Charlotte topless.

Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City

Overheard in New York | The Voice of the City: "Pink-haired woman: Have you noticed how all the celebs are totally dying their hair? It just looks so damn fake! I just want to walk up to them and say, 'Your hair looks like a chem lab exploded on it!' And then I would, like, get an autograph.


Hobo: Look, this ain't my hair! I am part of the Homeland Security, and the alert color today is orange for 'High alert.' Now, how can you be both high and alert? That's why this country is so fucked up! Have a nice day!"

Charlotte Church pregnant

Oh, she's become such a sinner. She's supposed to be a good little christian girl, first she has naked pictures taken and now she's pregnant without being married! Oh, lord, the debil done got her!

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Church confirms she is pregnant: "Singer and TV presenter Charlotte Church has confirmed she is expecting a baby with her Welsh rugby star boyfriend Gavin Henson."

Sarah Michelle Gellar in a burlap sack

SMG, aka Buffy, has not only turned brunette but also seems to have given up any attempt to look pretty or stylish. She's taken to wearing burlap sacks. This probably means she's joined some weird cult.

The star's secret to weight loss

LA's current concentration camp look isn't
just the result of cocaine and eating disorders.
Everyone's doing Clenbuterol. Prescribed
as an asthma medication, Clenbuterol is
taken by body-builders and now weight-watchers
for its amazing fat-burning qualities.
The drug works by raising body temperature,
thereby burning more calories. But it's
only designed to be taken temporarily
and carefully. Ever wondered why celebrities
always seemed to be hospitalised for asthma,
dehydration and exhaustion?