Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Simpsons Officially Vermonters

kdka.com - Vt. Town Named 'Simpsons' Official Home: "(AP) SPRINGFIELD, Vt. It's Duff time in Springfield, Vt., which on Tuesday was proclaimed the official hometown of TV's favorite dysfunctional family, the Simpsons."



I always figured they were from Missouri. There's a lot of rednecks, there, like Cletus and family. But it's not the south because they don't have accents. Plus, how can they be from Vermont? There aren't any trees in the cartoon. No one ever says anything about maple syrup, either.

Top 5 sexy vids of all time, maybe NSFW

How do you go about rating what it the sexiest video clip of all-time? Sexy seems to be a perception and changes from one to the next. YouTube and its many spin off clones have given us the format to identify the top five based upon ratings and most viewed. From there we also took into account how long the video clip has been in circulation, which is the lasting factor. Some video clips gain viral fame in a matter of weeks and are forgotten. Others however are timeless and have carried on long since their post. So let us get on with the countdown. #5 Porn Stars’ Favorite Positions - watch it now This is a wonderful collection of interviews outside the Erotica LA convention. The most sexed up women in the world are forced to name one position that is their favourite. The answers are jaw dropping to say the least. One starlet explains how the only panties she ever owned was ripped off by the guy she was trying to impress and she has never bought another pair. She went on to say that her favorite position was face down, bound hands behind her back, with a ball in her mouth, and no blindfold because she like to see what is going on.
#4 Suicide Girls – watch it now These girls sure do know how to put on a show. Up to the point when I saw this video, my experience with the Suicide Girls was an episode of CSI Miami. After watching this I have found a new attraction to girls in goth with tattoos. It was hard to watch this video clip twenty or thirty times without developing some type of fetish. It is amazing the type of wardrobes you can make out of just a few strips of black electrical tape. #3 Hot Girls Kissing – watch it now Here is a video clip of video clips. Some random guy put together this masterpiece one late night on his computer. This guy turned god has given us mere mortals a gift. One part Howard Stern, two parts Jenna J, and one part Jenna Haze makes for a happy boy any time of the day. #2 Ginger vs. Mary Ann Pie Fight – watch it now This one has an appeal that cuts through generations of men. Your grandfather will love this because of his personal fantasies dating back to when Gilligan’s Island was the most watched television show on land or sea. It was first part of a commercial for a reality show, and then it was released on the internet and took on a life of its own. #1 Miller Lite Catfight – watch it now It is only fitting that an extended version of a beer commercial comes it at number one. Thirty years ago the advertising executives figured out what beer drinkers like to watch and super bowl commercials have never been the same. The simple man loves to see hot girls with large breasts. A few years ago they decided to put it over the top with two of the hottest girls on the planet having a cat fight in the middle of the city. Hopefully this will someday be in the top 5 greatest article of all time.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Fish Heads

Rolly polly Fish heads
Are never seen drinking
Cappacino in Italian restaurants
With Oriental women...Yeah

When I was a kid they showed this on MTV. Everyone talked about it. It was mythical. But they might only show it once a month at 3 in the morning, or 1 in the afternoon. But they showed it for several years. I think they did it as a joke. But it became a prototypical cultural meme at our school. For at least a year there someone would break out and sing it.

I only ever saw the actual video once. It's actually weirder than I thought.


Rachal Ray's Divorce


RAY OF HOPE? | | Gossip - New York Post Online Edition


It seems that Rachael Ray will soon be single.

Yeah, I'm shining up the old brown shoes and putting on a brand new shirt for that one. I'm sure she'll date me! If I just believe hard enough!

Here's pics of her third nipple, a nipslip and assorted other Rachael Ray hotness.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

Anal Sex Scene Edited Out of Final Harry Potter Novel!

London, England - In what Christians everywhere are calling a "victory for Jesus' love," Bloomsbury Publishing has capitulated, in the face of countless death threats from angry Christian school children, their parents and a prominent garden club in Hertfordshire, and announced that it will edit out several lurid lines from an explicit anal sex scene between a coquettish and greased-up Harry Potter and a very drunk, opportunistic Rubeus Hagrid in the final J.K. Rowling Book, "The Deathly Hallows."


Thank God!

Now maybe we can get on with what Harry Potter is really about, corrupting children into our satanic witchcraft church!

Is Nicole Richey a genius?

Amanda Guinzburg: Weighting For Nicole - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "It's about Nicole Richie. I have to be honest with you. I think Nicole Richie might be some kind of genius performance artist. How else do you explain the fact that she manages to use her single teensy body to contain the entire pop-culture zeitgeist?"


My take, um...no, she's just lucky. But it's an interesting theory. I used to think Nicole was prettier than Paris before the girl got all spooky skinny. I likes my wimmen with some meat!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth

Who cares? It's not like anyone good will actually be there. And, yes, I'm including the Police. Their show at Bonnaroo sucked. There's a reason some bands are meant to break up.

Whatever.

Britney dating her AA sponsor

Britney's AA Counselor Confirms They're Dating - Entertainment on The Huffington Post: "AA counselor John Sundahl claims he is dating Britney Spears.

The recovered alcoholic says Britney chatted him up at their Alcoholics Anonymous meetings before asking him out more than two months ago."

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.





That's really agains the rules in AA. I would care, but hell, I'm stoned right now!

Here's a quote about violating "The 13th Step".

Hence it’s easy to understand how the term “13th Stepping” came to mean what it does today.
That’s why “Thirteenth Stepping”, among informed members of the Fellowship, is viewed as the most self-seeking, willful, and inconsiderate behavior, and is understandably despised and discouraged.

Clearly, playing fast and loose with another person’s life is irresponsible and reprehensible.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog

Chris Tucker Fans Knock On Door To Smoke Weed With Him - Starpulse News Blog: "The 34-year-old, who insists he doesn't 'smoke weed', tells Playboy magazine, 'Two white teenagers came to my house. I don't get too much company, so I looked out the peephole. I was in my housecoat. I had a do-rag on my head. They said, 'We're your neighbors. Do you want to smoke some weed?' Then they started quoting from Friday. 'It's Friday. You ain't got no job! You ain't got s--- to do!' So I've got neighbors' kids knocking on my door, looking to smoke weed with Smokey.'"


Wow, it's so much like my life. Anyone want to come over and smoke a bowl?

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Kim Kardashian's Butt

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This has gone way beyond the point where she has a big, beautiful, sexy butt, and to the point where I think she has some kind of ass cancer.

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News

Al Gore's son arrested on drug suspicion - Yahoo! News: "The deputies said they smelled marijuana and searched the car, Amormino said. They found less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, which is used for attention deficit disorder, he said."


Shouldn't be any problem, can't someone just pardon him like they did Libby? Oh, wait, he's a Democrat, not a republican. I guess that means he's going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

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Shot at 2007-07-04

Warning to the people of Maryland, keep your kids locked up!

Jackson scouts Maryland vacation homes - Yahoo! News: "WASHINGTON - Michael Jackson has been hunting for real estate on Maryland's Eastern Shore as he searches for a vacation home, a publicist for the pop star said."


If he doesn't see any young boys he'll move somewhere else. So keep your kids hidden, unless they're girls, then he doesn't care.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

S-Jo gets a nose ring

Hollywoodtuna » Blog Archive » Scarlett Johansson Gets A Nose Ring. No Longer “The Sexiest Woman Alive”

Why does seeing this make me have bad thoughts about attaching a leash to it? I still think she's hot. It just gives me something to lead her around on. You know Scarlett is totally freaky like that. Non-freaky chicks don't get nose rings.

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Publish

Christina Aguilera pregnant

And apparently Batman is the dad!


Aguilera's Father Confirms Pregnancy - Newswatch50.com: "And insiders claim the pregnancy is not a big surprise for the 26-year-old singer and husband Jordan Bratman."

Hate mail


I'm getting hate mail with conflicting messages. Maybe she's got some sort of weird dyslexia. I would say it's NSFW, but who's at work in this week? Besides me, that is.

Britney Spears, shopping for a puppy

She's not wearing a bra, or panties while doing this. And she already has a kid at home she can't take care of. Maybe she should buy a sheepdog and then it could watch the kid. At least someone responsible would be there.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sugarcubes video for Motorcrash

There's just something plain scary about Bjork driving. I know I wouldn't ride with her.


YouTube - Sugarcubes - Motorcrash


Jennifer Love Hewitt's dress...



Is she a nurse or is she a sailor? She has nurses shoes and the dress looks like an old-fashioned nurse, but anchor and sailing motif make her look like a sailor. Maybe she's supposed to be a nurse on a boat?

Hurley dresses son in bikini for shoot | NEWS.com.au Entertainment

Hurley dresses son in bikini for shoot | NEWS.com.au Entertainment: "LIZ Hurley was forced to withdraw this image from her website after being accused of exploiting her son for financial gain by dressing him up in a PINK BIKINI for a photoshoot."


And apparently it's pissed off everyone in Australia.

It's just a little outfit, people. It doesn't make you gay.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007

Diana concert

British princes honor Diana with concert - Yahoo! News: "Harry, 22, said they asked Elton John to play 'Candle in the Wind,' the song he sang at Diana's 1997 funeral in Westminster Abbey. Originally about Marilyn Monroe, its lyrics were reworked in tribute to Diana and it became a worldwide No. 1 hit that same year."


And you know what? I've never cared. She was bug-eyed and inbred ugly like a corgi dog.