12 tips for better law enforcement

Myspace.com: "12 tips for better law enforcement"

- Remember: all of your equipment was furnished by the lowest bidder.

- Never plant a piece of evidence with your initials engraved on it.

- Whatever you’re doing -- try not think about it. Poets search themselves. You’re a cop: you search crack-whores.

- I don’t care what neighborhood you’re in -- the people there hate you and do not want you there. You will never be their hero, unless you die in a terrorist attack.

- If they’re talking to you -- they’re lying.

- There is always a camera filming you. I don’t care if you’re in a locked bathroom stall, twelve stories underground, in an abandoned house on the moon: some jackass has a cell-phone camera and is filming you. So SMILE -- and don’t hit anybody with your flashlight.

- White shoplifters go to therapy, because they have issues. All others go directly to jail.

- If they’re breaking the law, they think you’re Dirty Harry, a gun-crazed supercop who’s knows everything and is onto them. If they called you, they think you’re totally incompetent.

- Handcuffs hurt -- because THAT’S how they were designed. If the perp didn’t want his wrists chaffed, he should have learned a trade other than car-jacking.

- Tazers speak louder than words.

- They didn’t give put that gun on you to feng shui your belt.

- Being a cop means never having to say your sorry.