Wired's Advice for Bloggers

This month's Wired has a list of things that could be keeping your blog from making you famous.

After reading it I think I'm on my way!

Here's the list.

1. You aren't kamikaze enough to risk your career by revealing the soul crushing absurdity of your job. That's probably true. I don't really have an interesting career, either. I'd torpedo it, but no one would care.
   
2. You aren't sufficiently vain or presumptuous to declare yourself a hot twentysomething female (even if it's true). Actually I could do that, I just don't want to. I'm all man, baby.
   
3. You lack a diagnosed sleep disorder, minor substance abuse problem, mercurial temperament and/or innate desire to alienate loved ones. Hell, I've got 3 out of 4 of those. You'll have to guess which ones.
4. You're not ready to declare on the internet what you really think about the raging hypocrites nesting in your life. Why, yes, yes I am. In fact I often get into trouble for telling them to their faces what assclowns they are.
5. You have yet to explore the wonders of shameless self-promotion, groveling, and media whoring. Profiles in the New York Times don't always come free. Well, I don't grovel, but I'm really good at the self-promotion. As for the media whoring, I'll have those melonballers wrapped around my little finger. And fsck the New York Times. They're dead media. Lapdogs and ball lickers of power and the establishment. I actually have more respect for the Weekly World News. At least they didn't sell their integrity to that little monkey George W. Bush.

Whooohooo! I can't wait until I'm on Oprah and can tell her what I really think of her.