Mariah Carey Walks Her Dog!

And it's news!

It occurs to me that if you're going to pay someone to hold the umbrella while you walk your dog then it would just be easier to have that person walk the dog, righ? Otherwise this is probably just Mariah's daily photo op, right?

Kurt and Courtney

Some people have their panties in a wad over this pic.

Britney is so cool!

Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man

That's right, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark.


Here's Robert's mugshot. Check out the cool meth acne



.

Tom and Katie, Actual Size

So one day Tom Cruise forgot to wear his elevator shoes that make him look like a big boy. And Katie wore her high heels. Oops.

He's so tiny. It's like he's a hotel room shampoo version of himself.

Jennifer Love Hewitt puts it back on

People are asking her to put some clothes on, because she's naked around the kids on the set.

Click on the pic for the high quality Love boobs.

Nicole Richey and her new boyfriend

Kate Moss Upnose Pic

Here' s a pic of Kate Moss's nasty coke encrusted nose.
From the Sun, the bastards.

Screech Sex Tape!

A Screech sex tape has surfaced.


New York Daily News - Home - Rush & Molloy: Porn star's name may ring a 'Bell': "We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a 'Dirty Sanchez.' "

I'm so proud. Our little geek is all grown up, now.

Kirstie Alley Flipping the Bird

I thought Scientologists weren't supposed to act like that. She must not be drinking the koolaid anymore.

Mariah Carey Birddog

Natalie Portman NipSlip

Why is she dressed like Peter Pan?

Liv Tyler is smart!

Here she is showing up at the damned OPERA (do I capitalize opera? I feel like it should be in all caps, and bold, but not just plain text) Not just any premeire or cell phone kickoff party, she's going to something that's, like, historical and artistic. How fancy. How foofaral. She's better than the other celebrities.

Meanwhile her dad admitted that he has hep c.
It seems to be the cool disease these days. He probably got it from Pamela Anderson. Or maybe it was Tommy Lee. Whatever, oh those whacky celebrities.

Did you know this happens every year, I mean, the Opera? It's like an event. Other people showed up, too. Is it just a slow news day or what? Here's David Bowie at the damned thing. He must not have to be up early in the morning.
Although I do have to question what kind of showbiz Opera is when you have the opening on Monday night? Don't people in New York have to get up and go to work in the morning? And you're telling me that rich, snotty people don't want to watch Monday Night Football?



I keep hearing people who love opera complain that no one wants to go anymore. Did you ever think that maybe that's why? Your season kickoff should be on Friday night, or a holiday or something.



But while all the smart celebrities were at the OpErA ™ ® Paris Hilton was in Germany dressed up as a naughty Fraulein. Naw, Paris doesn't have a drinking problem. It's just a coincedence that it's Oktoberfest.

Rosie O'Donnell Boobs

Movie & TV News @ IMDb.com - WENN: "Rosie O'Donnell shocked co-star Julian McMahon when she bared her breasts during a love scene when her shirt kept getting in the shot. The outspoken gay talk show host guest starred on McMahon's TV series Nip/Tuck as a lottery winner who ends up bedding her plastic surgeon. She tells US news show Access Hollywood that the director tried to shoot around a tube-top they made her wear, but had to keep yelling 'cut' because a bit of the top could be seen in the shot. O'Donnell immediately pulled the shirt down to her waist, shocking her co-star. McMahon, who plays sexy surgeon Christian Troy on the show, looked down and told her 'nice boobs.' O'Donnell is a huge fan of the series and insists she would 'love to do that show again and again and again.'"

Jessica Simpson loves her some cock

JESSICA SIMPSON - SIMPSON WEARS ROOSTER NECKLACE TO MAKE UP FOR LACK OF SEX: "JESSICA SIMPSON has taken to wearing a rooster pendant around her neck, because it's a substitute for the lack of sex in her life. The PUBLIC AFFAIR singer has resorted to wearing the necklace after divorcing husband NICK LACHEY and an embarrassing failed relationship with singer JOHN MAYER. She tells Allure magazine, 'This is my c**k! This is about as raunchy as I get these days. 'I don't have a c**k at the moment, so I wear one around my neck. I found this when I was antiquing. 'I saw it and said to myself, I've found my c**k! I've found my man!'"

I'm getting hate mail because of what I said about Paris Hilton.

Hey, look, I'm getting hate mail because of my opinions on Paris Hilton, of all things.

"King Enkil
to me
4:18 pm (2½ hours ago)

You don't know what you're talking about. In fact, you know nothing about Paris Hilton, you pretend you do.

First of all, you piece of shit, Paris Hilton has MILLIONS of fans world wide. All her products have been so far successful. Do you want me to name all her succuessful products? She has a best seller book. A recent new music album that sold more than 300 000 copies worldwide. One of her perfum made millions of dollars (I'm guessing more than 100 Million) and it was one of her most successful product ever. And I can go on!

So stop saying that no one buys her product!

Paris DOES DO SOMETHING TO KEEP HER FAME UP unlike Tiara and Lohan and other celebrity junkies. She doesn't just hang around and suck all her parent's money like most heirs and heiresses do.

The fact is, you stupid hater, that she makes MILLIONS of dollars every year.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DON'T PRETEND YOU KNOW PARIS HILTON. SHE'S A LOT MORE SMARTER THAN YOU THINK, AND NO SHE'S NOT THE STUPID SPOILED KID YOU WANT HER TO BE, you piece of filth!'
----------------------------------
me
to King
4:19 pm (2½ hours ago)
Paris, is that you?

-------------------------------
King Enkil to me
LISTEN TO ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I'M PARIS OR NOT. I'M NOT DEFENDING HER JUST BECAUSE I FIND HER KEWL OR I'M A FAN.

I'M DEFENDING HER BECAUSE WHAT I TOLD YOU ARE FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!1 OK?? DO YOU HEAR ME? OR YOU CAN'T FACE THEM??

YOU CAN'T EVEN PROVE YOUR STATMENT. SO YOU BETTER COME UP WITH A FACT! INSTEAD OF SENDING ME THE LITTLE BULLSHIT "Paris, is that you?" EMAIL.

STAND UP AND PROVE YOUR COMMENTS NOW! OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

---------------------------------
King Enkil to me,

I AM WAITING, YOU ASSHOLE. I AM WAITING FOR YOUR FACTS!

She doesn't actually do anything

PROVE IT!

No one actually buys her cds or perfume or any of the other stuff she's tried to sell.

PROVE IT!
------------------------

Me to King Enkil

You're a dumbass with a hardon for a skanky ho with herpes.

------------------------------------
King Enkil to me,

ANOTHER BULLSHIT AND INCOMPETENT EMAIL?

WHAT'S THE MATTER YOU SCUMBAG, CAN'T STAND UP FOR YOUR COMMENTS? HUH?

LOSERRRRRRRRR
-------------------------
Me to King Enkil

This isn't the debate team, sparky. I don't have to play by your rules, although I could prove it if I wanted. Like the abysmal sales of her cd. Did you buy it? I bet you didn't.

But I bet you did buy the "One Night in Paris" dvd and you watch it everynight and jerk off into a sock while dreaming of Paris's stinky pussy.

-------------------------------
King Enkil to me,

LOL YOU LOSER. THAT'S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?

YES I DID BUY HER CD. I BOUGHT IT BECAUSE IT WAS A QUALITY CD AND I LIKE ALL HER SONGS AND I DON'T JUDGE HER BY HER NAME, MONEY OR BEAUTY YOU ASSHOLE.

NOW ON GO!! MENTION THAT HER PARFUM SOLD LIKE CRAZY. MENTION THAT HER BOOK IS A BEST SELLER THAT HIP TOP 10. MENTION THAT HER ALBUM HIT TOP 10 ALSO ON BILLBOARD AND WORLD CHART.

MENTION EVERY SUCCESSFUL PRODUCT SHE HAS SOLD. GO ON!! I'M WAITING

OR SHOW ME THE FACTS!!!

-------------------
Me to King Enkil,

The facts never persuaded anyone.

I called her a stanky ho with herpes. Can you prove that she isnt'?

-------------------

King Enkil to me,

YOU HAVE TO PROVE HER STATMENT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OR ELSE THEY'RE MEANINGLESS AND YOU BECAUSE A RETARDED LOSER HAHA!

------------------------
King Enkil to me,

HAH! YOU ARE OFFICIAL A STUPID LOSER! HAHA YOU'RE GAME IS OVER. AND NOW YOU ARE NOW A COWARD. I'LL LET THE WORLD NOW.

DEAR, LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.

THE HERPES BULLSHIT WAS A RUMOUR. TELL ME SOMETHING. ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE RETARDS WHO BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING YOU READ IN CELEBRITY ARTICLES?

----------------------------

Me to King Enkil,
What game? We weren't playing any game? What drugs are you on? I never agreed to play your little reindeer games.

And the herpes is real. I know a guy that fucked her and got it from her

----------------------

King Enkil to me,
THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP SPREADING FALSE FACTS IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE THEM.
-------------------

King Enkil to me,
LOL, ASSHOLE.

YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PARIS. YOU PRETEND YOU DO. BUT YOU REALLY DON'T. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NUMBER OF MEN SHE HAS SLEPT WITH.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA SO PLEASE THE GAME IS OVER YOU CAN'T PROVE YOUR FACTS, SO WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO CHANGE MY MIND. YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING.
----------

Me to King Enkil,

I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm just pushing your buttons to see what you'll do to kill some time while I'm at work.

I like fucking with people like you to see what you'll do.

--------------------
King Enkil to me,

WOW. WHAT A SHAMELESS LIFE YOU HAVE. AND YOU WILL DIE WITH A UGLY HEART AND WILL BURN IN HELL FOR LYING, AND FOR BEING A COWARD OF COURSE.
------------------

Me to King Enkil,
Whatever, bored now.

You are very petty minded to only think in terms of losers and winners.

When we all know your worth as a person isn't based on how well you can debate (not very well in your case) but on how much money you have.
-------------

At that point I got bored and stopped reading his emails.

Madonna == Jesus

Scarlett Johansson for President!

She says she can do the job. I say we should give her the chance. No other president looks like this. And she can't be any dumber than W.

"Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The President's," she was quoted by Contactmusic, as saying.

I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office," she added.

Tim Burton has a striped penis

Helena Bonham Carter is filming the new
Harry Potter movie in Scotland. She
was overheard at the bar of a hotel
telling crew members that her husband,
Tim Burton, is "a demon in the sack",
and that he has "a black and white cock."

Elizabeth Berkeley is a Freak

She's got an eye that's two different colors. That's not right. She's a mutant. It freaks me out.

Fox cashes in on Xians

Fox studios put faith in Christian film fare / Video unit to make up to dozen per year: "(09-20) 04:00 PDT Hollywood -- The company that brought TV viewers racy and irreverent programs such as 'Nip/Tuck,' 'Temptation Island' and 'The Simpsons' has found religion.

In the biggest commitment of its sort by a Hollywood studio, News Corp.'s Fox Filmed Entertainment announced plans Tuesday to capture the gargantuan Christian audience that made 'The Passion of the Christ' a global phenomenon.

Fox Home Video, the home entertainment division of Rupert Murdoch's movie studio, plans to produce or distribute as many as a dozen films a year under a new banner called FoxFaith. At least six of these films will be released in theaters under an agreement with two of the nation's largest chains, AMC Theatres and Carmike Cinemas. The rest will go directly to DVD."

Does everyone remember when the first President Bush condemend Fox because of the Simpsons? Now they lick republican butt.

It's all about the money. Fox doesn't care as long as they make the long green. Soon you'll see them spin off an Al-Jazeera clone to market to Muslims.

Chavez hates Bush

He calls him the devil.

DRUDGE REPORT FLASH 2005®: "The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself, is right in the house.

'And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here.' [crosses himself]

'And it smells of sulfur still today.'

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world. "

Wow, this guy's a poet and a preacher. Can he be our president?

Drunkenyeti hates Oprah

Just another reason why I won’t sleep with Oprah. at drunkenyeti: "Just another reason why I won’t sleep with Oprah.
Published by mike September 20th, 2006

Bitch can’t even pump her own gas."

Tom Cruise had Scientologists "talk to" his boss.

Did Tom Cruise Take On Paramount With Scientology Goons?: "Internet E-Magazine Radar says Paramount and Viacom head Sumner Redstone may have let Tom go because he dispatched scientology goons to intimidate Redstone's Paramount chief Brad Grey while negotiating Tom's deal for Mission: Impossible: III.

I'm going to go right ahead and quote this directly from them, avoiding any possibility of lawsuit for us. Before I do, let me say I don't know if this is true, can't confirm if this is true, this is simply what Radar says happened: 'Leaving the office one night, the diminutive Grey, walking to his car in the Paramount lot, suddenly found himself surrounded by more than a dozen Scientologists, who pressured him to ease up on the actor.' They add, 'Following a terse exchange, the visitors allowed Grey to get into his car and leave, but the message was clear. Though he was unnerved by the incident, sources say, Grey stood his ground.' "

Why not just have someone leave a horsehead in the guy's bed?

The Man Harshes Willie's Buzz

CNN.com - Willie Nelson cited for pot, mushrooms - Sep 18, 2006: "LAFAYETTE, Louisiana (AP) -- Willie Nelson and four others were issued misdemeanor citations for possession of narcotic mushrooms and marijuana after a traffic stop Monday morning on a Louisiana highway, state police said.

The citations were issued after a commercial vehicle inspection of the country music star's tour bus, state police said in a news release.

'When the door was opened and the trooper began to speak to the driver, he smelled the strong odor of marijuana,' the news release said."

Well, hell, if you're gonna arrest Willie Nelson for smelling like pot, why don't you just arrest him every day? How could you open Wille's tour bus and expect it not to smell like pot?

Nightmare on Elm Street House for Sale

Defamer Real Estate: Swear Off Ambien In The 'Elm Street' House - Defamer

Nightmare on Elm Street House for Sale

Defamer Real Estate: Swear Off Ambien In The 'Elm Street' House - Defamer

It's a stick, it's a stone

I really like this. I had only ever heard the Cibo Matto version before.



Waters of March

It's stick, it's stone
It's the end of the road
It's a rest of stump
It's a little alone

It's a shard of glass
It is life, it's the sun
It is night, it is death
It's the snare, it's the fishhook

It's peroba of the field
It’s the knot in the wood
Lamp caingá tree
It's the matita-pereira tree

It's wind-resistant wood
Falls of the ravine
It's the profound mystery
It's the you wish or you don’t

It's the wind blowing
It's the end of the slope
It's the beam, it's the span
The new roof party

It's the rain raining
It’s riverbank talk
Of the waters of March
It's the end of the struggle

It's the foot, it's the ground
It's the walk on the road
Small bird in the hand
A slingshot stone

It’s a bird in the sky
It’s a bird on the ground
It's a creek, it's a fountain
It's a piece of bread

It's the bottom of the well
It's the end of the way
In the face the annoyance
It's a little lonely

It's a thorn, it's a nail
It's a point, it’s a dot
It's a drop dripping
It's an tally, it’s a tale

It's a fish, it’s a gesture
It's silver shining
It's the morning’s light
It's the brick arriving

It's the firewood, it's the day
It's the end of the trail
It's the bottle of liquor
Splinter in the road

It’s the house’s design
It's the body in bed
It's the broken down car
It's the mud, it's the mud

It's a footstep, it's a bridge
It's a toad, it's a frog
It's a rest of brush
In the morning’s light

They are the waters of March
Closing the summer
It's the promise of life
In your heart

It's a snake, it’s a stick
It's John, it's Joseph
It's a thorn in the hand
It's the cut on the foot

They are the waters of March
Closing the summer
It's the promise of life
In your heart

It's stick, it's stone
It's the end of the road
It's a rest of stump
It's a little alone

It's a footstep, a bridge
It's a toad, it's a frog
It's a beautiful horizon
It’s a tertian fever

They are the waters of March
Closing the summer
It's the promise of life
In your heart

Brad Pitt, Edward Norton sing the penis song

They seem to be doing it on the set of Fight Club.

They seem to be doing it on the set of Fight Club.

Jessica Biel is a Lesbian

Here she is kissing a girl and then looking guilty about it.

She's not a lesbian, but her girlfriend is. Or something.

Scarlett Johansson Ain't No Lesbian!

So stop spreading them rumors.
Scarlett Johansson is touchy about lesbian leanings slur: "'I was bothered about the story about me being a lesbian. I got my lawyers involved because it was untrue and it hurt my friend, who has nothing to do with this business. So it was important to me to stop that story,' (ANI)"

I guess it's official, now. Scarlett is my new obsession. I'll have to clear out some space when I make a shrine to her in the basement. Anyone want to buy a bunch of old Lindsay Lohan crap? She makes me feel dirty. And not in a good way.

Kate Bosworth NipSlip

She leaned over to schmooze with Kirsten Dunst and it popped out.

Also, someone tell that biotch she needs to eat a sammich.

A Poem by Kriss

Something new I'd like to try here, The Hater poetry circle.

Urban Dictionary: butterface: "

Butterface, oh Butterface
I wish you would die
It’s really fucked up
To get my hopes up so high
With fucked up face – and bloodshot eyes
Hold the bag steady
So your face can’t scare the guys
Your body is banging, but your face makes me shout
Your front teeth are screaming “Let me the fuck out”
With Hair like brittle and breath like acid
You look like something
That crawled out of Lake Placid
That’s it for now
I have nothing else to say
Keep that face covered
It’s probably what killed Ray"

Models are so graceful

Hey, what's that white stuff on the floor? Is that some rock? I'll get it!

Sacha Baron Cohen has pissed off people so much that President Bush has to apologize for him.

President Bush To Placate Kazakhstan's Leader Over 'Borat' Outrage - Starpulse News Blog: "British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's comic creation Borat Sagdiyev has caused so much outrage in Kazakhstan with his new movie, President George W. Bush will address the issue when he meets the Kazakh leader. Bush is set to hold talks with Nursultan Nazarbayev over oil supply - and disgusted Kazakhs have demanded action over Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan.

Foreign Ministry spokesperson Roman Vassilenko says, 'We have made it clear that we are unhappy with the character's representation. He does not represent the true people of Kazakhstan.'"

President Bush responded, "Now wait a minute here, ain't this guy really a not from Kazakhi kinda guy? Ain't he really some Jewish guy from England? I don't know, he might be one a them gayboys, too. I don't see what that has to do with me, do you? I got no control over what English Jews do."

Scarlett Johansson Hates Bush

One day soon the Republicans will round up all of us weirdos and free thinkers and put us in those shiny new concentration camps built by Halliburton.

At least I'll be there with all the hot ladies. You'll be out here with that fatass Rush Limbaugh.

Scarlett said,
The 21-year-old says, "I'd rather be photographed doing something politically active like encouraging people to vote. "I'm not a George Bush supporter and I'm eagerly awaiting the end of his term."

It's not a firecrotch, it's actually shaved.

Lindsay shows off her hoohaa. NSFW.

What's Mena Suvari's problem?

Mena Suvari, then and now. Well, now and then, because the images are usually reversed. Which is something blogger does that I can never get to work, but anyway....

The girl has too much damn forehead. It's HUGE. That's not a forehead, that's a fivehead or a sixhead.

She finally figured it out and started wearing bangs. Bangs aren't really trendy, or are they? What do I know, I have a mullet like Brock Samson.

But, anyway, she got that fixed. Now she's dressed like a Japanses cowboy biker...and she's holding her crotch in this pic. What's her deal? Is she doing a lot of drugs or something or just a fashion victim? Maybe she's got feminine itching.

Myspace is a big fake.

Apparently Tom didn't create Myspace and it wasn't a grassroots thing. It was totally created by a marketing company and Fox Newscorp is trying to get the truth censored.

What News Corp doesn't want you to know about MySpace: Condensed edition - Valleywag: "1. MySpace is NOT a viral success. MySpace was advertised on mass levels to reach the public. MySpace was created by a company named eUniverse (who later changed their name to Intermix Media). eUniverse was a marketing and entertainment company who had over 50 million e-mail addresses in their databases, as well as over 18 million monthly web users. eUniverse leveraged their resources to proliferate and advertise MySpace.com. eUniverse went as far as telling 3 million users of their paid dating website, CupidJunction.com, to sign up for free MySpace accounts."

Miss Pot, meet Miss Kettle

Tonight - Nicole slams Angelina for 'publicity stunts': "Nicole Kidman has hit out at Angelina Jolie for using her charity work for publicity.

The Australian actress - who is about to make her first trip to India as goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Development Fund for Women - claims the Tomb Raider star gets far too much recognition for her good deeds."

Don't you love it when the sharks turn on each other?

John Travolta is So Gay

John in Hairspray.

Lindsay Lohan Robbed

She had a million dollars worth of stuff in an Hermes bag at the airport.


Lindsay's rep, Leslie Sloane, confirms to TMZ the theft occurred and that Lindsay is extremely upset about the loss of personal belongings. "She is begging for the return of the items," Sloane says. "She doesn't care how she gets them back, she just wants her stuff back."

So in other words Lindsay will do anything for a million dollars? Ok, first, I want you to have oral sex with ...oh, an elephant...no, wait, a dolphin. Then you have to be Paris Hilton's maid for a week. Then you can have back your jewlery.

Gay Weatherman Freaks Out Over Cock....roach