Maxwell Hammer's shared items
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Boston pwned by the Mooninites
Boston was shut down today when suspicious devices were reported under bridges and overpasses.
The were under attack by the Mooninites.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Nicole Richie licking coke residue off a mirror
Ah, don't you wish you were rich and famous? Then people would be putting pictures of everything you do on the web. Link.
Weird fur lumps
Just say no to fur, especially when it's weird and tacky. What the hell is up with those lump things?
This is Anna Safroncik in some Italian tv award ceremony. From the Bastardly.
Courtney Love replacing Paula Abdul?
In what dimension does this make sense? It would make more sense to resurrect Frank Sinatra's corpse for the show. Zombie Frank Sinatra would kick Simon Cowell's ass.
Us Exclusive: Paula Being Replaced? Courtney Love Confirms She's Been Called for American Idol | Us Weekly Online: "'He called,' Love tells Usmagazine.com. 'He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant.'
Is FOX lining up a replacement for slap-happy Paula Abdul, or just looking to spice up the show with the always-entertaining rocker/actress? Love, who is currently in L.A. recording a solo album, declined to reveal any more specific details."
Us Exclusive: Paula Being Replaced? Courtney Love Confirms She's Been Called for American Idol | Us Weekly Online: "'He called,' Love tells Usmagazine.com. 'He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant.'
Is FOX lining up a replacement for slap-happy Paula Abdul, or just looking to spice up the show with the always-entertaining rocker/actress? Love, who is currently in L.A. recording a solo album, declined to reveal any more specific details."
Sunday, January 28, 2007
List of bands that will make you gay
A religious group has published a list of bands that will make your kids turn gay. Notice that the Indigo Girls are listed twice.
It's probably a joke, since Cyndi Lauper is on the safe list of bands that won't make you gay.
Love God's Way
* The Spores (endorse suicide)
* Scissor Sisters
* Rufus Wainwright
* Merzbau
* Ravi Shankar
* Wilco
* Bjork
* Tech N9ne
* Ghostface Killah
* Bobby Conn
* Morton Subotnik
* Cole Porter
* The String Cheese Incident
* Eagles of Death Metal
* Polyphonic Spree
* The Faint
* Interpol
* Tegan and Sara
* Erasure
* The Grateful Dead (AIDS)
* Le Tigre
* The Gossip
* The Magnetic Fields
* The Doors
* Phish
* Queen
* The Strokes
* Sufjan Stevens
* Morrissey(?questionable?)
* The Pet Shop Boys
* Metallica
* Judas Priest
* The Village People
* The Secret Handshake
* The Rolling Stones
* David Bowie
* Frankie Goes to Hollywood
* Man or Astroman
* Richard Cheese
* Jay-Z
* Depeche Mode
* Kansas
* Ani DiFranco
* Fischerspooner
* John Mayer
* George Michael (texan)
* Angel Eyes
* The Indigo Girls
* Velvet Underground
* Madonna
* Elton John
* Barry Manilow
* Indigo Girls
* Melissa Etheridge
* Eminmen
* Nirvana
* Boy George*
* The Killers
* Lou Reed
* Lil' Wayne
* Motorhead
* Jill Sobule
* Wilson Phillips
* DMX
* Lisa Loeb
* Ted Nugent (loincloth)
* Dogstar
* Thirty Seconds to Mars
* Lil' Kim
* kd lang
* Frank Sinatra
* Hinder
* Nickleback
* Justus Kohncke
* Bob Mould
* Clay Aiken
* Arcade Fire
* Bright Eyes
* Corinne Bailey Rae
* Audioslave
* Red Hot Chili Peppers
* Panic at the Disco
* Elton John(really gay)
It's probably a joke, since Cyndi Lauper is on the safe list of bands that won't make you gay.
Love God's Way
* The Spores (endorse suicide)
* Scissor Sisters
* Rufus Wainwright
* Merzbau
* Ravi Shankar
* Wilco
* Bjork
* Tech N9ne
* Ghostface Killah
* Bobby Conn
* Morton Subotnik
* Cole Porter
* The String Cheese Incident
* Eagles of Death Metal
* Polyphonic Spree
* The Faint
* Interpol
* Tegan and Sara
* Erasure
* The Grateful Dead (AIDS)
* Le Tigre
* The Gossip
* The Magnetic Fields
* The Doors
* Phish
* Queen
* The Strokes
* Sufjan Stevens
* Morrissey(?questionable?)
* The Pet Shop Boys
* Metallica
* Judas Priest
* The Village People
* The Secret Handshake
* The Rolling Stones
* David Bowie
* Frankie Goes to Hollywood
* Man or Astroman
* Richard Cheese
* Jay-Z
* Depeche Mode
* Kansas
* Ani DiFranco
* Fischerspooner
* John Mayer
* George Michael (texan)
* Angel Eyes
* The Indigo Girls
* Velvet Underground
* Madonna
* Elton John
* Barry Manilow
* Indigo Girls
* Melissa Etheridge
* Eminmen
* Nirvana
* Boy George*
* The Killers
* Lou Reed
* Lil' Wayne
* Motorhead
* Jill Sobule
* Wilson Phillips
* DMX
* Lisa Loeb
* Ted Nugent (loincloth)
* Dogstar
* Thirty Seconds to Mars
* Lil' Kim
* kd lang
* Frank Sinatra
* Hinder
* Nickleback
* Justus Kohncke
* Bob Mould
* Clay Aiken
* Arcade Fire
* Bright Eyes
* Corinne Bailey Rae
* Audioslave
* Red Hot Chili Peppers
* Panic at the Disco
* Elton John(really gay)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Video of Nicole in the accident
There's like 20 people on top of the car, of course she wrecked? How could she even see to drive? She should have license taken away.
cbs5.com - Caught On Tape: Nicole Kidman In Car Accident: "(AP) LOS ANGELES Nicole Kidman was taken to a hospital after the Jaguar she was in crashed early Thursday during downtown shooting of the science fiction thriller 'The Invasion,' police said.
Kidman, 39, was examined at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and then released a short time later. Paramedics were called to examine Kidman for injuries before she was taken to the hospital, police said."
cbs5.com - Caught On Tape: Nicole Kidman In Car Accident: "(AP) LOS ANGELES Nicole Kidman was taken to a hospital after the Jaguar she was in crashed early Thursday during downtown shooting of the science fiction thriller 'The Invasion,' police said.
Kidman, 39, was examined at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and then released a short time later. Paramedics were called to examine Kidman for injuries before she was taken to the hospital, police said."
Want to lose your virginity on tv?
Mtv is casting for a new show.
UK TV has been unfavourably compared to
US series for a few years. It's not
always the case. MTV UK made a series
this year called The Virgin Diaries,
in which some teenagers made video diaries
of the months before and after they first
had sex. Cue usual Daily Mail furore, but it
was a sympathetic and genuinely revealing
piece of TV, and picked up a Broadcast
Award this week.
In America this year, get ready for Virgin
Territory. Teens are being auditioned
in Los Angeles and New York to lose their
virginity on screen. It's brought to you
by the man behind Paris Hilton's home sex
tape and he's trying to get porn star
Jenna Jameson involved.
UK TV has been unfavourably compared to
US series for a few years. It's not
always the case. MTV UK made a series
this year called The Virgin Diaries,
in which some teenagers made video diaries
of the months before and after they first
had sex. Cue usual Daily Mail furore, but it
was a sympathetic and genuinely revealing
piece of TV, and picked up a Broadcast
Award this week.
In America this year, get ready for Virgin
Territory. Teens are being auditioned
in Los Angeles and New York to lose their
virginity on screen. It's brought to you
by the man behind Paris Hilton's home sex
tape and he's trying to get porn star
Jenna Jameson involved.
Matt Dillon and Marilyn Manson feud
LA stars Matt Dillon and Marilyn Manson
often bump into each other at Hollywood
parties, awards shows and VIP events.
Manson always says "hello" to Dillon.
And Dillon always publicly blanks
the goth rocker.
The feud dates back to a party in
Los Angeles a couple of years ago.
Manson went to the toilet to take
a pee and, mid-stream, decides to spit
his chewing gum into the urinal.
Somehow he misses, and the gum sticks
in his pubic hair. Perturbed, Manson
wanders back into the party and asks
if anyone has a pair of scissors on them.
Matt Dillon replies that he has a pair in
his bag and would be happy to lend them.
So Manson wanders off and carefully cuts
the gum away from his penis. When he
brings the scissors back to Dillon,
the actor gets curious, and asks why
the singer needed them. Embarrassed but
amused, Manson decides to explain. At
that point Dillon cuts him off with a
look of disgust... and has not spoken
to him since.
often bump into each other at Hollywood
parties, awards shows and VIP events.
Manson always says "hello" to Dillon.
And Dillon always publicly blanks
the goth rocker.
The feud dates back to a party in
Los Angeles a couple of years ago.
Manson went to the toilet to take
a pee and, mid-stream, decides to spit
his chewing gum into the urinal.
Somehow he misses, and the gum sticks
in his pubic hair. Perturbed, Manson
wanders back into the party and asks
if anyone has a pair of scissors on them.
Matt Dillon replies that he has a pair in
his bag and would be happy to lend them.
So Manson wanders off and carefully cuts
the gum away from his penis. When he
brings the scissors back to Dillon,
the actor gets curious, and asks why
the singer needed them. Embarrassed but
amused, Manson decides to explain. At
that point Dillon cuts him off with a
look of disgust... and has not spoken
to him since.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Kirk Douglas smacks up dem nazi hos
What did Kirk Douglas do in bed with a Nazi chick? Why he slapped her silly.
Kirk Douglas - Kirk Douglas' Nazi sex: "The 'Spartacus' actor also romanced a 'big, tall blonde' airline stewardess who loved being 'disciplined' in bed.
In the height of passion, she would scream 'I'm a Nazi!' which was Kirk's cue to slap her."
Kirk Douglas - Kirk Douglas' Nazi sex: "The 'Spartacus' actor also romanced a 'big, tall blonde' airline stewardess who loved being 'disciplined' in bed.
In the height of passion, she would scream 'I'm a Nazi!' which was Kirk's cue to slap her."
Farrah Hair
Dakota Fanning: Smarter than most reporters
The kid schools the hypesters on what it's all about.
Dakota Fanning: 'It's called acting' - CNN.com: "'It's not really happening,' Fanning said of a rape. 'It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything. Cody and Isabelle aren't going through anything, their characters are.
'And for me, when it's done it's done,' she said. 'I don't even think about it anymore.'"
So take that, Fox news!
Dakota Fanning: 'It's called acting' - CNN.com: "'It's not really happening,' Fanning said of a rape. 'It's a movie, and it's called acting. I'm not going through anything. Cody and Isabelle aren't going through anything, their characters are.
'And for me, when it's done it's done,' she said. 'I don't even think about it anymore.'"
So take that, Fox news!
Jessica Simpson side boob
The guys at the Superficial are saying that she has giant, saggy boobs. I've come to the conclusion that everyone that works for the Superficial is gay.
Pee-Wee Hates SNL
The whole reason PeeWee Herman started his show was because he was turned down for Saturday Night Live.
Also, for some bizarre reason, he seemed to think Gilbert Gottfried would get the job.
Pee-wee may be heading back to his Playhouse. But for now, he's happy to be Paul Reubens.: "Another interesting tidbit was his outrage at not getting cast for 'Saturday Night Live' in 1980; he believed that Gilbert Gottfried was a friend of a producer and the fix was in.
'I was so bitter and angry, I thought, 'You better think about doing something to take this to the next level,' ' Reubens said, describing his plane ride home from New York. 'So I borrowed some money and produced this show. I went from this 'Saturday Night Live' reject to having 60 people working for me.'"
Also, for some bizarre reason, he seemed to think Gilbert Gottfried would get the job.
Pee-wee may be heading back to his Playhouse. But for now, he's happy to be Paul Reubens.: "Another interesting tidbit was his outrage at not getting cast for 'Saturday Night Live' in 1980; he believed that Gilbert Gottfried was a friend of a producer and the fix was in.
'I was so bitter and angry, I thought, 'You better think about doing something to take this to the next level,' ' Reubens said, describing his plane ride home from New York. 'So I borrowed some money and produced this show. I went from this 'Saturday Night Live' reject to having 60 people working for me.'"
Restaurants object to K-fed Superbowl ad
6abc.com: Restaurant Group Objects Superbowl Ad: "Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co.'s 30-second spot shows Federline, who is estranged from pop princess Britney Spears, performing in a glitzy music video. However, the punch line is that he's daydreaming - while cooking french fries at a fast-food joint.
The ad amounts to a 'strong and direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry,' wrote National Restaurant Association President and Chief Executive Steven Anderson in a letter to Nationwide CEO Jerry Jurgensen."
If K-fed was working at a restaurant, that's exactly what would happen to him. How can you protest the truth?
The ad amounts to a 'strong and direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry,' wrote National Restaurant Association President and Chief Executive Steven Anderson in a letter to Nationwide CEO Jerry Jurgensen."
If K-fed was working at a restaurant, that's exactly what would happen to him. How can you protest the truth?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tom Cruise thinks he's Jesus
TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.
The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.
And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.
Does that mean we can crucify him? I want to be the Roman soldier with the whip! Link.
Andre the Giant, world's greatest drunk.
Andre knew he would die young because of his disease. The same disease that made him so big.
So he decided to stay drunk his whole life.
Modern Drunkard Magazine Online: "You won’t find it in the Guinness Book of World Records, but Andre the Giant holds the world record for the largest number of beers consumed in a single sitting. These were standard 12-ounce bottles of beer, nothing fancy, but during a six-hour period Andre drank 119 of them. It was one of the few times Andre got drunk enough to pass out, which he did in a hallway at his hotel. His companions, quite drunk themselves, couldn’t move the big man. Fearing trouble with cops, they stole a piano cover from the lounge and draped it over Andre’s inert form. He slept peacefully until morning, unmolested by anyone. Perhaps the hotel people thought he was a piece of furniture.
Think about it: 119 beers in six hours. That’s a beer every three minutes, non stop. That’s beyond epic. It’s beyond the ken of mortal men. It’s god-like. "
So he decided to stay drunk his whole life.
Modern Drunkard Magazine Online: "You won’t find it in the Guinness Book of World Records, but Andre the Giant holds the world record for the largest number of beers consumed in a single sitting. These were standard 12-ounce bottles of beer, nothing fancy, but during a six-hour period Andre drank 119 of them. It was one of the few times Andre got drunk enough to pass out, which he did in a hallway at his hotel. His companions, quite drunk themselves, couldn’t move the big man. Fearing trouble with cops, they stole a piano cover from the lounge and draped it over Andre’s inert form. He slept peacefully until morning, unmolested by anyone. Perhaps the hotel people thought he was a piece of furniture.
Think about it: 119 beers in six hours. That’s a beer every three minutes, non stop. That’s beyond epic. It’s beyond the ken of mortal men. It’s god-like. "
Monday, January 22, 2007
Tom Arnold at Sundance
Here's Tom stocking up on free stuff in anticipation of the long winter ahead. Tom will hibernate under a freeway in LA until spring. That's when the annual migration of the casting agents will begin. In the spring the casting agents move from their homes in the mountains to their offices in Hollywood. Then they will begin pitching tv shows to the networks. Those shows will be cancelled by winter, then the agents will begin their long trek back into the mountains where they go for "hiatus". It's all part of the wonders of nature in Hollywood.
Good luck, Tom! Hope you make it through another winter. And watch out for your natural enemy, Roseanne.
Chewbacca and R2D2: the secret leaders of the rebellion?
A New Sith, or Revenge of the Hope: "Consider: at the end of RotS, Bail Organan orders 3PO's memory wiped but not R2's. He wouldn't make the distinction casually. Both droids know that Yoda and Obi-Wan are alive and are plotting sedition with the Senator from Alderaan. They know that Amidala survived long enough to have twins and could easily deduce where they went. However, R2 must make an impassioned speech to the effect that he is far more use to them with his mind intact: he has observed Palpatine and Anakin at close quarters for many years, knows much that is useful and is one of the galaxy's top experts at hacking into other people's systems. Also he can lie through his teeth with a straight face. Organa, in immediate need of espionage resources, agrees.
For the next 20 years, as far as 3PO knows, he is the property of Captain Antilles, doing protocol duties on a diplomatic transport. He is vaguely aware of the existence of the princess but doesn't know much about her. Wherever 3PO goes, being as loud and obvious as he always is, his unobtrusive little counterpart goes with him. 3PO is R2's front man. Wherever they land, R2 is passing messages between rebel sympathisers and sizing up governments as potential rebel recruits - both by personal contact and by hacking into their networks. He passes his recommendations on to Organa. "
For the next 20 years, as far as 3PO knows, he is the property of Captain Antilles, doing protocol duties on a diplomatic transport. He is vaguely aware of the existence of the princess but doesn't know much about her. Wherever 3PO goes, being as loud and obvious as he always is, his unobtrusive little counterpart goes with him. 3PO is R2's front man. Wherever they land, R2 is passing messages between rebel sympathisers and sizing up governments as potential rebel recruits - both by personal contact and by hacking into their networks. He passes his recommendations on to Organa. "
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The hot new male fashion will be stirrup pants!
That's right, men will be wearing leggings this year. It's all the rage.
Yeah, right. I think a vampire on Buffy said it best, "It won't be the new style if I kill every single person who wears it."
Leggings made of microfiber cotton and wool, shown in violet, forest green and Milan fog gray, all of them with stirrup straps, except of course for a couple of them cut above the knee, accompanied half the looks in this poetic, polished and unexpected collection.
Link.
Testify!
Rage Against the Machine to reunite, report says - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The leftist rock band Rage Against the Machine will reunite after a seven-year hiatus for a single performance at a southern California rock festival in April, the Los Angeles Times reported on Sunday."
I had wondered what happened to Zach de la Rocha, everyone's favorite little revolutionary. I figured he was off in Mexico fighting with Shining Path guerrillas or something.
I had wondered what happened to Zach de la Rocha, everyone's favorite little revolutionary. I figured he was off in Mexico fighting with Shining Path guerrillas or something.
DiCaprio hated Titanic
Leonard Dicaprio said Titanic made him want to quit making movies, which is a coincidence, because it made me want to stop watching them.
DiCaprio: 'Titanic' made me want to quit - Yahoo! News: "'It was pretty disheartening to be objectified like that. I wanted to stop acting for a little bit,' he said"
DiCaprio: 'Titanic' made me want to quit - Yahoo! News: "'It was pretty disheartening to be objectified like that. I wanted to stop acting for a little bit,' he said"
The losers of American Idol
This site collects the myspace profiles of all the losers on American Idol. Seen here is MetroAmish.
Britney going bald?
This site says she's going bald from worrying about...well the white trash train wreck that has become her life.
I think she's didn't brush her hair after sleeping on it.
Stars Are Blind » Britney Spears going bald, almost spills the goods
I think she's didn't brush her hair after sleeping on it.
Stars Are Blind » Britney Spears going bald, almost spills the goods
Friday, January 19, 2007
Stephen Colbert steals microwave, show
AP Covers the Colbert-O'Reilly Meeting of the Giants: "It may have been a greater error allowing Colbert into the Fox News headquarters, located near the 'Colbert Report' studios in Manhattan. There, Colbert smuggled a microwave out of the green room, a bounty which he proudly displayed at the conclusion of his show.
A spokesman for Fox News confirmed that Colbert stole the microwave, but said it was all in good fun."
Bill is so dumb he doesn't even know when he's being setup.
"This was a huge mistake, me coming on here," he muttered.
A spokesman for Fox News confirmed that Colbert stole the microwave, but said it was all in good fun."
Bill is so dumb he doesn't even know when he's being setup.
"This was a huge mistake, me coming on here," he muttered.
Lindsay Lohan, rehab in Wonderland
Apparently the place where Lindsay Lohan is in rehab is the same place pornstar John Holmes is alleged to have killed someone.
Located in the hills of L.A.'s famed Laurel Canyon, Wonderland shares its name with Wonderland Drive, a local street—and site of the infamous 1981 quadruple murder that saw porn legend John Holmes implicated. The Holmes case was retold in a 2003 film, also named Wonderland.
Link.
Located in the hills of L.A.'s famed Laurel Canyon, Wonderland shares its name with Wonderland Drive, a local street—and site of the infamous 1981 quadruple murder that saw porn legend John Holmes implicated. The Holmes case was retold in a 2003 film, also named Wonderland.
Link.
Dethklok Lyrics
Metalocalypse Theme Song
Dethklok!
Dethklok!
Dethklok!
Dethklok!
I'm... ticking... for... the...
Dethklok!
Dethklok!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf taller than a tree,
Toki Wartooth not a bumblebee,
William Murderface Murderface Murderface,
Pickles the Drummer doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily doo,
Nathan Explosion.
----------------------
Duncan Hills Coffee
Do you folks like coffee?
Real coffee,
From the hills of Columbia?
The Duncan Hills will awake you,
From a thousand deaths.
A cup of blackened blood.
(Die, DIE!)
I'm dying for a cup.
Guatamalan blend.
Ethiopian,
French Vanilla Roast.
(Die, DIE!)
You're dying for a cup.
Prepare for ultimate flavor...
You're gonna get some, NOW!
And scream, for your cream!
(Solo- Skwisgaar Skwigelf)
DUNCAN HILLS
DUNCAN HILLS
DUNCAN HILLS
COFFEE!
----------------------------
Birthday Deathday
echo Many years ago today
Something grew inside of your mother
That thing was YOU!
YOU!
You! You! You! You!
Did she scream? Did she cry?
Only those that are born are ones that get to die.
One more year goes hurting by.
Body, organs ripping, rotting
Vile lungs a grotesque chorus
Birthday equals nothing for us
R S V P Please
For the death of me
You have little time
You're running out of life
Happy Birthday. You're gonna die!
Time-Time-Tick-ing
Birth-day-Death-day
Die-die-Death-day
Birth-day-Death-day
---------------------------------
(Hate) The Fan Song
You people out there give us something more than just record sales
You give us something to hate
And we hate you, you brainless mutants
Hate (16x)
You hunched and blinded mutants
living in chat rooms
You masturbate on the sheets
your mothers clean for you
You have lined my pockets
overflowed with gold
You're living with your parents
and you're 35 years old
You're a bunch of banks
that I'd like to rob
You're my online cash transaction
you're my future stocks
Transfer you like money
to a Swiss account
Spend you on an impulse
and zero you all out
Hate (16x)
I would like to get some sleep
but you keep buying all our things
My overhead is way too deep
for us to not make all these things
It's way too cynical, you see?
Hating what's supporting me
I am not you, I thank the gods
and if I were, I'd die like dogs
Die (30x)
DIE!
----------------------------
Mustakrakish,
Mustakrakish.
Now, we've never actually tried to awaken a troll before from a Finnish Necronomicon.
So please bare with us.
Here goes:
I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld to bring forth this beast and,
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Take the land that must be taken.
Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken,
Devour worlds, smite, forsaken.
Rise up from your thousandth year of sleep,
Bring forth the decreed eternally.
I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise and,
Awaken.
----------------------------
Thunderhorse
Ride...
Ride...
Ride...
Ride...
Thunder...
Thunder...
Thunder...
Thunder...
Thunderhorse...
Thunderhorse...
Thunderhorse...
Thunderhorse...
Revenge...
Revenge...
Revenge...
Thunder...
Horse...
Thunder...
Horse...
Thunder...
Horse...
Thunder...
Horse...
Thunder, Thunder...
Thunder, Thunder, Thunder...
Thunder...
Thunder...
Horse...
Thunderhorse...
Thunderhorse...
--------------------------------
Dethharmonic
I want to keep my money
And give away absolutely nothing
To the government who moderates my spending
and obliterates depending on what time of the year
brutality is here
in the form of income tax
I'd rather take a fucking axe
to my face, blow up this place
with you all in it, I'd do it in a minute
if I could write off your murder
I'd save all of my receipts
because I'd rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year
I'd rather you be dead than to maul your body in my second home
I'd rather you be dead than consider losing all my evil restaurants
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Same dress controversy
Jessical Biel wore a dress that Hillary Swank had worn several years ago. Now her and designer Valentino are in a bitchfest over it.
Notice how Valentino doesn't actually deny that he sold the same dress twice.
“I loved this dress and felt great in it,” Biel said in a statement Tuesday, “It is unfortunate that I was told by Valentino no one had ever worn the gown before, but I think Hilary has amazing style, and I’m flattered we share the same taste.”
Not to be outdone, Valentino also issued a statement, though he didn’t specifically mention the Biel situation:
“Valentino dresses are timeless, and each woman brings to them her own interpretation. Two beautiful actresses can be different and great even in the same dress.”
And for good measure, here’s Treena Lombardo, fashion market director at W magazine, telling us her opinion about the situation:
“So who’s to blame? Ultimately, it’s the responsibility of Biel’s stylist and Valentino’s public-relations team to research gowns to be sure they haven’t been worn to high-profile events before. But in the harriedness of the season, people are just doing their best with a lot of gowns flying in and out of hotel rooms.” Link.
Free Slick Rick
The idiots at the Department of Homeland Security consider Slick Rick a terrorist.
Rap legend Slick Rick spent his 41st birthday,
January 14th, incarcerated in a Florida
immigration detention centre. Back in the
80s Rick was in the charts with Doug E Fresh
with The Show but now Rick's fighting deportation
to Britain, his birthplace, from where his
family emigrated in 1975.
Rick aka Richard Walters's career collapsed
in the 1990s when he shot his pregnant cousin
and her boyfriend in an argument where Walters
alleged they were trying to extort money. He
served five years and 12 days in jail then
saw his comeback album, featuring a who's
who of hip-hop inc Nas, Snoop Dogg, Outkast
and Wu-Tang Clan, bomb.
In June 2002, after performing on a Caribbean
cruise ship, Rick was arrested in Florida for
"deporting himself" and "illegally re-entering
the country". A new 9/11 inspired-law allowed
all felons with five years jail time not
(["mb"," born in USA to be deported. Walters spent 17
months in jail before being released then was
re-incarcerated last year, when the Department
of Homeland Security took up the case again.
Two months ago a US district court judge
ruled that he should not be deported but
Rick remains in the detention centre with
no official release date.
The US government must think terrorism
issues are now so minor that it wants to
spend so much time and energy on the security
threat posed by an aging black rapper. born in USA to be deported. Walters spent 17
months in jail before being released then was
re-incarcerated last year, when the Department
of Homeland Security took up the case again.
Two months ago a US district court judge
ruled that he should not be deported but
Rick remains in the detention centre with
no official release date.
The US government must think terrorism
issues are now so minor that it wants to
spend so much time and energy on the security
threat posed by an aging black rapper.
Tara Reid loves "House Music"
Tara Reid has been partying in Australia
over the New Year. One afternoon she and
her entourage wandered into a small Byron
Bay DVD rental store. "Do you have any
house music?" asked the actress. The
shop clerk looked confused and told her
that they didn't sell CDs, she should try
down the road. "No, but do you have any
HOUSE MUSIC" tried Tara again. When he shook
his head again, Tara left. A few minutes
later one of her people came back in the
store and pleaded with the clerk for some
house music before leaving in despair.
That night the DVD guy was recounting his
story in a local bar. He was told that another
DVD store sold drugs on the quiet, and that
"house music" meant you wanted some ecstasy.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Bob Dylan wrote all the songs
Baby Got Back? Written by Bob Dylan. MMM-bop? Written by Bob Dylan. Every hit song for the past 40 years has was written by Bob Dylan in the 60's.
Rebecca Romijn @ Golden Globes
Rebecca really should have stayed out of the sun. She's looking really leather. Too late now...she'll be getting little cancers any day now....
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Lindsay Finally in Rehab
We all knew you weren't really in the hospital for appendicitis. Get yourself cleaned up and looking good. You used to be so pretty.
Actress Lindsay Lohan enters treatment center - Yahoo! News: "'I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health,' the 20-year-old star of 'Mean Girls' and 'Freaky Friday' said in a statement. 'I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.'"
Actress Lindsay Lohan enters treatment center - Yahoo! News: "'I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health,' the 20-year-old star of 'Mean Girls' and 'Freaky Friday' said in a statement. 'I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.'"
The IT Crowd coming to America
They are in casting for an American version of The IT Crowd.
Let's hope it's better than the US version of The Office.
Misfits join NBC's "IT Crowd" pilot - Yahoo! News: "Based on a British series, the project revolves around three misfits who work in the information technology department of a large corporation."
Here's a youtube episode.
Let's hope it's better than the US version of The Office.
Misfits join NBC's "IT Crowd" pilot - Yahoo! News: "Based on a British series, the project revolves around three misfits who work in the information technology department of a large corporation."
Here's a youtube episode.
Britney pregnant again ?
She needs to get that ugly hoohaa sewed up or something.
Oops! Is Britney pregnant again ? - Gossip: The Scoop - MSNBC.com: "“I’ve seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now,” a “pal who sees Britney every week” told the mag. “She’s heavier, but that’s not it. It’s the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.”"
Hasn't she ever heard of birth control?
Oops! Is Britney pregnant again ? - Gossip: The Scoop - MSNBC.com: "“I’ve seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now,” a “pal who sees Britney every week” told the mag. “She’s heavier, but that’s not it. It’s the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.”"
Hasn't she ever heard of birth control?
Pink is very worried about the Australian Sheep Anus
First she said she was going to boycott the entire country of Australia because of...of all things...sheep being anally circumcised. Now she's changed her mind.
Undercover - Pink Backs Down On Australian Wool Boycott: "Late last year Pink appeared in a video for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals telling viewers to boycott Australian wool and showed graphic footage of mulesing, a surgical process done without anesthetics to remove the wrinkled skin around their anus.
There is debate whether a one-time painful operation is a better or worse fate than being eaten alive by maggots, which is what the operation prevents. (Flies can't lay their eggs in the warm and moist folds in the skin.)"
Undercover - Pink Backs Down On Australian Wool Boycott: "Late last year Pink appeared in a video for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals telling viewers to boycott Australian wool and showed graphic footage of mulesing, a surgical process done without anesthetics to remove the wrinkled skin around their anus.
There is debate whether a one-time painful operation is a better or worse fate than being eaten alive by maggots, which is what the operation prevents. (Flies can't lay their eggs in the warm and moist folds in the skin.)"
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
And there was much rejoicing heard about the land
They're going to cancel TRL! Yay! Of course, this means it just makes way for more suck.
New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher: 'TRL' looks to be D.O.A.: "“The ratings are at an all-time low, around 300,000 viewers,” says the source. “The show is going to be canceled and rebranded.'"
New York Daily News - Daily Dish & Gossip - Ben Widdicombe's Gatecrasher: 'TRL' looks to be D.O.A.: "“The ratings are at an all-time low, around 300,000 viewers,” says the source. “The show is going to be canceled and rebranded.'"
Renee Zellweger Dating Luke Perry
Renee just loves the losers. Always picking them bad guys that treat her like crap. We all know that kind of girl.
E Canada Now - Breaking News » Renée Zellweger Dating Luke Perry: "A source told the New York Post newspaper: “They were definitely on a date. They both looked super-skinny. He was looking very grungy - baggy jeans, lumberjack flannel shirt and baseball cap. She had on a white button-down shirt, glasses and striped pants. They were talking very closely and rubbing knees.”"
E Canada Now - Breaking News » Renée Zellweger Dating Luke Perry: "A source told the New York Post newspaper: “They were definitely on a date. They both looked super-skinny. He was looking very grungy - baggy jeans, lumberjack flannel shirt and baseball cap. She had on a white button-down shirt, glasses and striped pants. They were talking very closely and rubbing knees.”"
Miss New Jersey is a ho
They must have picked the contestants for the Miss USA from out of a strip club.
Ashley Harder, Miss New Jersey USA, has resigned because she is pregnant, The Philadelphia Daily News reported in Monday's editions.
Harder, 20, told the newspaper she voluntarily stepped down because it's against pageant rules to compete while pregnant. She could not be reached for comment by The Associated Press.
Ashley Harder, Miss New Jersey USA, has resigned because she is pregnant, The Philadelphia Daily News reported in Monday's editions.
Harder, 20, told the newspaper she voluntarily stepped down because it's against pageant rules to compete while pregnant. She could not be reached for comment by The Associated Press.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Jessica Biel @ Golden Globes
She looks good, but with Jessica, it's all about the butt. Maybe I'll find some shots of her walking away....
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Reese Witherspoon @ Golden Globes
Ok, I really didn't even want to look at her pics. I was afraid. She's looked so horrible lately I was afraid it would be like a car wreck where you don't want to look, but you can't stop yourself.
But, overall, she's presentable. She used to be beautiful, but lately, not so much. She's pulled herself together a bit.
Labels:
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Tina Fey @ Golden Globes
Ok, I like Tina Fey, she's a great comedy writer and usually she's very pretty. But how long has she had that horrible scar on her face that makes her look like Freddy Krueger's sister? I swear I've never noticed that before.
Also, why is she wearing a puzzle piece on her lapel? Does she have kids and they got candy on it, maybe and it stuck to her dress and she didn't notice or something? What the hell?
Labels:
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J-Lo @ Golden Globes
She's not looking so great. You can tell she smokes by those lines she's getting around her mouth. Looks like she had a lot of botox as well. Look how wooden her face is.
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Gillian Anderson: Vampire or Satanist?
GILLIAN ANDERSON - ANDERSON IVE DRUNK THE BLOOD OF GOATS AND LAMBS: "'You crouch down and drink it straight off its neck. They pull the skin away and then you suck the hole. Goat is better than lamb. Lambs have a lot more fat on them, so the blood is very gloopy. I didn't feel particularly good after that.' "
She's supposed to be an animal rights activist. I eat one black rhinon hamburger and PETA gets all pissed off. Gillian Anderson, though, she can drink blood from an animals neck an no one says anything.
She's supposed to be an animal rights activist. I eat one black rhinon hamburger and PETA gets all pissed off. Gillian Anderson, though, she can drink blood from an animals neck an no one says anything.
Rick, Ricky, no matter how you spell it, it still means loser.
The little blonde kid from Silver Spoons is changing his name back.
Call Him 'Ricky,' Not 'Rick' Schroder - Starpulse News Blog: "Rick Schroder has ditched his adult name for the one that made him famous as a child star. For his upcoming stint on hit drama 24, the actor will be credited as Ricky Shroder - the name he grew out of in his late teens.
He says, 'My agents said, 'You know, you should change your name to Rick. It'll help grow up from a kid to an adult.' I've learned in the last 20 years it takes more than dropping a letter from your name to help you grow up. And so I'm more comfortable being called Ricky. My wife, my mom, everybody calls me Ricky... Rick never felt right. I felt like I was trying to be something I wasn't.'"
They should really do a Silver Spoons reunion. Most of those people haven't worked in years. Poor Carlton from Fresh Prince. Always a sidekick, never the star.
Call Him 'Ricky,' Not 'Rick' Schroder - Starpulse News Blog: "Rick Schroder has ditched his adult name for the one that made him famous as a child star. For his upcoming stint on hit drama 24, the actor will be credited as Ricky Shroder - the name he grew out of in his late teens.
He says, 'My agents said, 'You know, you should change your name to Rick. It'll help grow up from a kid to an adult.' I've learned in the last 20 years it takes more than dropping a letter from your name to help you grow up. And so I'm more comfortable being called Ricky. My wife, my mom, everybody calls me Ricky... Rick never felt right. I felt like I was trying to be something I wasn't.'"
They should really do a Silver Spoons reunion. Most of those people haven't worked in years. Poor Carlton from Fresh Prince. Always a sidekick, never the star.
Dude you're gettin a.... oh who really cares, anymore.
Dell Dude is waiting tables and having house parties.
According to the NY Daily News.
Times must be tough for former Dell guy Ben Curtis. The commercial actor/Tortilla Flats waiter, who was arrested in February 2003 for allegedly buying marijuana (the charges were later dropped), sent out a text-message invite for a party at his apartment this past weekend charging $5 "all u can drink!" Dude, you're getting desperate.
You know what? I waited tables for years. It's hard work. I'd much rather hang out with this guy than Paris Hilton or Jeremy Piven.
According to the NY Daily News.
Times must be tough for former Dell guy Ben Curtis. The commercial actor/Tortilla Flats waiter, who was arrested in February 2003 for allegedly buying marijuana (the charges were later dropped), sent out a text-message invite for a party at his apartment this past weekend charging $5 "all u can drink!" Dude, you're getting desperate.
You know what? I waited tables for years. It's hard work. I'd much rather hang out with this guy than Paris Hilton or Jeremy Piven.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
50 Cent condoms
Rapper 50 Cent plans on launching a line of condoms. I wonder if people will get all confused and think that's the price.
Also, Whites and Asians can't use them, because, well, you know.
Full Story.
Also, Whites and Asians can't use them, because, well, you know.
Full Story.
Leela had a baby!
The actress who does the voice of Leela on Futurama just had a baby.
The actress and her writer-producer husband Kurt Sutter, 43, welcomed their first child together, Esme Louise Sutter, on Wednesday, People reported.
They say it only has one eye.
Oh, yeah, she was also Peg Bundy on Married with Children.
Full Story.
Christina Ricci as white trash
This is from some upcoming movie, I'm not sure which. Anyone have more pics? Found on the Bastardly.
Run Forrest Run!
Lindsay Lohan running in a bikini. Only a professional smoker can run while holding a lit cig. Don't try this at home.
Notice the complete lack of an appendectomy scar? How can that be? She was just in the hospital to have her appendix out. Do they have some new magic way of healing scars just for the rich and famous? She should at least have a bandage....
Or mabye she was really in for an overdose? Nah, couldn't be our sweet little virgin. Not Lindsay. Never.
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