Maxwell Hammer's shared items

Monday, August 14, 2006

Tom Cruise is a Superhero!

He's Secret Gay Man!

To be sure, Cruise has had plenty of opportunities to hone his good Samaritan skills over the years.

* In 1998, he rushed to the defense of a woman being mugged on a London street and stopped thieves from making off with more than $150,000 in jewelry.
* In 1996, he summoned an ambulance to help an aspiring actress who was the victim of a hit-and-run, then paid her $7,000 emergency room bill.
* That same year, while sailing a yacht in the Mediterranean, Cruise spotted French paper tycoon Jacques Lejeune, his family and several crew members bobbing in a life raft after their own boat caught fire. The actor pulled the group aboard and delivered them to shore.
* Also that same year, Cruise reportedly pulled two young boys to safety after they were almost crushed in a mob at the London premiere of Mission: Impossible.


Ok, so he's done some good things. So did Napoleon.

This makes me feel bad for hating him, but it doesn't make me hate him any less. Any psychiatrists in the audience want to explain that emotion to me?

Since Tom's a superhero I guess that makes me a supervillan. I'm Smartass Man! I come equipped with the weapons of sarcasm and a blog!

You're not really a superhero until you've got an arch-enemy. Guess I'm in the big leagues now.

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