Drunky Smurf Video

There's video of Posh Spice being a drunken idiot.

The Daily Mail said,
"She is normally the picture of style and elegance."

Uhmmm...yeah, what planet are you from? She's low class trash...if she were American I'd say she was white trash.

"But a late night out with friends left Victoria Beckham looking somewhat the worse for wear earlier this week.

The former Spice Girl was pictured stumbling out of a London casino at 4.45am - with even her minder struggling to prop her up as she swayed back and forth."

I had sex with Nicole Richey

Sources say, "Nicole Ritchie can't move for comments
about her weight these days. After an
altercation with a photographer, Nicole
went to drown her sorrows in the Viper
Room, where LA art-pop band The Spores
were playing. Sadly for Nicole, the band
spotted her diving into a booth and used
their trademark on-stage puppets to take the
piss out of her inability to afford food,
culminating in one of the puppets saying,
"I screwed Nicole Ritchie... and wrapped my
whole dick around her waist." Nicole stormed
out telling doormen that she was going to sue."

Eddie Murphy to marry Scary Spice

This is strange to me, because I thought Eddie was gay. I thought Scary was a lesbian, too.

EDDIE MURPHY is preparing to propose to his former SPICE GIRLS girlfriend MELANIE BROWN, according to press reports in the US. The pair began dating three months ago (JUN06) and reportedly immediately fell madly in love. A source tells American publication Us Weekly, "They are looking for the right ring. They are already living together at Eddie's house (in Beverly Hills)." Brown, 31, has a daughter from a previous marriage; Murphy has five kids with ex-wife NICOLE, whom he divorced in April (06). He also has a son from a previous relationship. In July (06), the couple each got a tattoo of the other's name, according to the source, who says they enjoy staying at home watching movies, ordering food and playing with their kids.

Actually I thought all the Spice Girls were gay, except what's her name, Cindy-Lou Who, or whichever. I still have my doubts about Posh Spice...

My Mom flashed Owen Wilson!

Yep, that's Mama Hammer! She loves her some Owen Wilson. She says she's going to moon Rush Limbaugh next!

The comedy star was at the UK premiere of You, Me and Dupree in Leicester Square last night when a fan called out his name before lifting up her top and showing off her breasts.

A stunned Owen, who was working the red carpet with the press at the time, told Sky News: "Wow, I kinda lost my train of thought with that one."

She's not the master of her domain

Remember how Paris said she was giving up sex? Kissing only, she said? Well, that fell through. She's hooked up with the junkie who's claim to fame is nicknaming Lindsay Lohan "firecrotch".

The Superficial says,

Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis live together - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com: "Brandon Davis has reportedly been living in Paris Hilton's Hollywood Hills home since getting out of rehab in July, which he checked into after the 'fire crotch' video went public.

'His family is selling their home, so Brandon's been shacking up with Paris at her place off the Sunset Strip,' an 'insider' tells L&S. 'All his clothes, his toiletries and even some of the artwork he owns.' But the arrangement is reportedly more than temporary. Says the source: 'They're hooking up, but she doesn't want anyone to know about it. It's being kept very hush-hush.'"

So that didn't last long.

That icy cold water they swim in has nothing to do with it

Boing Boing: That icy cold water they swim in has nothing to do with it: "That icy cold water they swim in has nothing to do with it
MSNBC reports 'Polar bear genitals shrinking due to pollution.' Snip:

The icecap may not be the only thing shrinking in the Arctic. The genitals of polar bears in east Greenland are apparently dwindling in size due to industrial pollutants. Scientists report this shrinkage could, in the worst case scenario, endanger polar bears there and elsewhere by spoiling their love lives and causing their numbers to diminish.

In fact, all marine mammals could get affected by these pollutants, 'especially the Arctic fox, killer whale and pilot whales,' wildlife veterinarian and toxicologist Christian Sonne at the National Environmental Research Institute of Denmark in Roskilde told LiveScience. These animals bodies also carry extremely high levels of these contaminants."

Tom Cruise Fired

Ha ha! You suck, everyone knows it!

Paramount cuts ties with Cruise company - Yahoo! News: "LOS ANGELES - The latest high-profile Hollywood breakup is between
Tom Cruise and his studio. Sumner Redstone, whose company owns Paramount Pictures, said the studio would sever its 14-year relationship with Cruise's film production company because 'his recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount.'"

This just in....Jessica Alba is dating Fez!

Fez must have a really big schlong.

Lindsay Lohan's Dad's Cartoon

Apparently he's quite the talented artist. Someone else should do the writing, though.

Everyone is conspiring against him.

Smartass Celebrity Gossip Chat

Smartass Celebrity Gossip Chat. I started a chat room for Hate On! I may or may not be there....

Lindsay Lohan in Leopard Print Bikini

I've figure out something. She isn't really wearing different bikini's. They're all actually the same bikini, just in different prints and colors. Same style and cut, just she bought all they had like that.

Brit, Teen Choice, etc

Ok, I admit, I watched part of the damn show. I'm a freak.

First, one of Britney's boobs is bigger than her head. Can you spot which one? Second, what's up with the podium? Are today's teens little pimps and hos? Oh, that's right, they are. Good luck with that, kids.

Third, K-Fed's impersonation of Vanilla Ice. Beatutiful, I think i might have mentioned that. Maybe he'll pretend to be Mili-Vinilli next year? We can only hope.

Fourth...Brit's boobies, they're fascinating. I need video of this. They went boingy-boingy-boingy...mesmerizing.

My plan for world peace

entertainment.iafrica.com | news Osama 'wanted to marry Whitney': "Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of terror group al-Qaeda, was such a fan of singer Whitney Houston that he considered marriage and having her husband Bobby Brown killed.

This is but one of several details revealed by a woman who claims she was once the sex slave of America’s most wanted man."

It's a deal! You stop bombing the world and we'll give you Whitney...and that's not all. We'll also throw in Janet Jackson and Halle Berry! If white girls are more your thing then you can have Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan! Come on, girls, take one for America. Aren't you willing to sacrifice for the good of the rest of the world? Besides, he's like 7 feet tall, he must have an enormous schlong. It's a win-win situation.

How much is Jessica Biel Worth?

30,000, exactly, isn't that good to know?

FOXNews.com - Man Who Bid $30,000 Dines With Jessica Biel - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment: "DENVER — A man who bid $30,000 to have lunch with Jessica Biel, Esquire magazine's 'Sexiest Woman Alive,' sealed the deal Friday."

A case of too much money and not enough sense.

K-fed at the Teen Choice Award

I just watched it, and I have to say that was the best Vanilla Ice impression I've ever seen. He's even better than Weird Al Yankovic.

Snakes on a MotherHumping Plane

Here are a bunch of people I've never heard of arriving for the premiere. I always wonder where these people at the premieres and award shows come from. I bet they just go to the Hollywood Unemployment office or the Home Depot parking lot and say, "Ok, you, you, you, not you, get in the truck, we need some people for a premeire. Then after that, you're going to repave my driveway."

Another Celeb Perfume

The Becks have created a new scent.

The Beckhams get 'intimately' scented - Yahoo! News: "LONDON (AP) — Soccer star David Beckham and his pop-star wife Victoria are set to get intimate with the unveiling of a new fragrance for men and women next month.

Dubbed 'intimately Beckham for Him' and 'for Her,' the fragrances will be sold starting next month across Britain."

The only problem is both of the fragances smell like underarms and malt liquor.

Justin vs. Lohan

As if getting all mean on Taylor Hicks wasn't enough, now Justin has taken on Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan's Timberlake ban - Showbiz News - Life Style Extra: "
'The last thing his label want is Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself. His people reckon any association with people like Lindsay are bad forView the profile for Justin Timberlake on Celebrity Spotlight his image and career.'"

Justin, you're becoming quite the snarky dick. Wanna job writing for me?

Do you think Paris Hilton douches with Lysol?

Click on pic for closeup.

A gallery of old ads, here.

Penelope Cruz NipSlip

Here's the safe for work version.

Click here for the nipple.

Whoooohoooo! I'm famous! I went to college with the JonBenet Ramsey Killer!

Yep, that's right, I went to the same college in Alabama that John Mark Karr did!
It was the University of North Alabama. I think I was there at the same time as he, but I couldn' t find an exact date. He actually recieved his BA from another school.

I'm so proud.

Jessica Biel whines about being too sexy.

It's so hard being the sexiest woman alive, according to Jessica.

"I think that a lot of directors and people who are looking at projects and they were like, "Well, I don't want to hire her." I felt like I was sort of on this pedestal a little bit and it definitely didn't just open all of the doors for me that I thought that it would. I thought, "Oh, wow. This is a huge honor. This is going to be huge for me." And it really wasn't at all."

So don't all the rest of you non-sexy ladies feel better about your lives now? Aren't you glad you get to work as a secretary or at Taco Bell instead of having the oh so hard job of being in movies?

Timberlake is a big wuss

First he says mean stuff about Taylor Hicks. Then, when it gets in the press, he claims he never said it.

Timberlake not impressed by 'Idol' Hicks - Yahoo! News: "'He has tremendous affection for Taylor Hicks' success,' Sunshine told The Associated Press on Thursday. 'He would never say anything that personal about somebody he's never met. He only wishes him the best.'"

So is this all the best, Justin? "The guy who won — people think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet, and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket."

Plus you implied that he's gay.

Dorky Country Star Can't Even Shoot His Own Ber

St. Paul Pioneer Press | 08/15/2006 | Country star charged with killing tame bear: "Country singer Troy Lee Gentry appeared today in federal court in connection with the killing of a tame black bear that federal officials say he bought, shot in an enclosed pen, tagged as if the animal had been killed in the wild, then arranged for the doctoring of a videotape of the alleged 'wild' kill."

He's a wuss. A real country music star can kill and eat a bear. Just ask Shania Twain.

Are you aware of Jessica Simpson's Breasts?

Celebrity Launches Own-Breasts Awareness Campaign | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "LOS ANGELES—Amid growing personal concern that the subjects are not receiving enough national attention, singer–actress Jessica Simpson announced the launch Monday of an ambitious, multimillion-dollar campaign promoting awareness of her breasts.
Enlarge ImageCelebrity Launches R

Simpson draws attention to her cause at a recent gala event in Washington, D.C.

'Each year, millions of lives could be affected by my breasts,' said Simpson at a press conference in Los Angeles. 'People of all ages, colors, and creeds are susceptible to them. Now it's just a matter of getting them out there for everyone to see. It's time Americans truly recognized the full size and scope of this devastating rack.'"

Mel Gibson Excuses

10. "Did I say 'Jews'? I meant Scientologists"

9. "Food poisoning from a bad knish"

8. "Uhh, hello? I'm famous"

7. "Shouldn't have been drinking with Hasselhoff"

6. "Any press is good press"

5. "I refer all questions to my Jew attorney"

4. "Tired of Britney Spears getting all the 'crazy celebrity' attention"

3. "Oh like you've never gotten drunk and accidentally said, 'Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world'?"

2. "Researching upcoming role as insane washed-up movie star"

1. "Hoping to be named People Magazine's 'Sexiest Anti-Semite Alive'"

David Copperfield Claims to have found fountain of youth

So have I! But only for the ladies. First come to my house, get naked, open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise!

David Copperfield says he's found Fountain of Youth - Yahoo! News: "'I've discovered a true phenomenon,' he told Reuters in a telephone interview. 'You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. ... Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they'll fly away. It's an amazing thing, very, very exciting.'"

This is why I don't go to the movies

I never watch anything until it's out on dvd. Here are some reasons why...and I won't be watching them on dvd, either.

They're making Ace Ventura Jr. and Young Magneto, and maybe, Star Trek 9.

Only white people can be heros

The World Trade Center movie, which I have no desire to see, changed all the main characters from black to white.

“Frankly, we goofed--we learned when we were filming that he was an African-American,” said Shamberg. “We would change it if we could. I actually called him and apologized, and he said he didn’t mind. He was very gracious about it.”

Shamberg also apologized for another African-American officer, Bruce Reynolds, who was also portrayed as white in the movie.

That's more like it

If you got ugly feet, then cover them up. Jessica seems to have learned. But she still needs to comb her hair.

I love that dress. Take a look at the pic from the back angle. She's got a great butt.

These are from the premiere of The Illusionist.

Nicole Richey Eating!

She sure eats a lot for someone who never seems to gain any weight.

Maybe she's got a giant tapeworm.

Star Jones Fired

Star Jones sucks so much that she can't even sell cheap shoes.

Bad news seems to follow embattled television personality Star Jones recently. Since her View debacle, the talk show host has also been dropped as the Spokesperson for Payless Shoe's. "There will be no more 'face' of Payless," a company source told the New York Post. "Star was the last."

Maybe she can get a job selling Church's fried chicken or something.

I wish I had thought of this

TSA: Where We Stand: "NO SNAKES OF ANY KIND WILL BE PERMITTED ON A PLANE. SNAKES ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED IN CHECKED BAGGAGE. This includes all pythons, boas, rattlesnakes, vipers, mambas, adders, and other known species of snakes."

Tom Cruise is a Superhero!

He's Secret Gay Man!

To be sure, Cruise has had plenty of opportunities to hone his good Samaritan skills over the years.

* In 1998, he rushed to the defense of a woman being mugged on a London street and stopped thieves from making off with more than $150,000 in jewelry.
* In 1996, he summoned an ambulance to help an aspiring actress who was the victim of a hit-and-run, then paid her $7,000 emergency room bill.
* That same year, while sailing a yacht in the Mediterranean, Cruise spotted French paper tycoon Jacques Lejeune, his family and several crew members bobbing in a life raft after their own boat caught fire. The actor pulled the group aboard and delivered them to shore.
* Also that same year, Cruise reportedly pulled two young boys to safety after they were almost crushed in a mob at the London premiere of Mission: Impossible.

Ok, so he's done some good things. So did Napoleon.

This makes me feel bad for hating him, but it doesn't make me hate him any less. Any psychiatrists in the audience want to explain that emotion to me?

Since Tom's a superhero I guess that makes me a supervillan. I'm Smartass Man! I come equipped with the weapons of sarcasm and a blog!

You're not really a superhero until you've got an arch-enemy. Guess I'm in the big leagues now.

Jessica Biel at some premiere

Who care's which premiere, I wasn't invited so frak 'em.

The problem with these ultra high quality pics is that you can see too much. Like her feet. Jessica has ugly toes, she needs a manicure if she's going to wear those sandals. Also, it looks like the straps are cutting off her circulation.

And I know the messy hair is the style now, but can't these people use a comb? Le sigh. I miss the 80's when people actually seemed to care about their hair.

Man, she's got shoulders like a football player, don't she?

Oh, and and by criticizing I'm not saying I wouldn't have sex with her. Of course I would. But my standards are very low...a lot lower than that. Fat girls need love too. I'm the guy that leaves the bar with 2 or 3 of the ugliest chicks there. All my friends tell me not to leave with them, that they look like they'll kill me and eat me. But so far that's never happend. I have been bitten a few times, though. I was also stabbed by a stripper once, too. Good times, good times.

Keep on rockin' in the (not so) free world

Egypt has a heavy metal scene.

Egypt's heavy metal scene emerging - Yahoo! News: "CAIRO, Egypt - The music was loud and the tattooed fans were wild, dancing and swaying in flashing strobe lights to the crashing sounds of heavy metal songs. Suddenly, the music stopped. The band leader grasped the mike and announced: 'It's prayer time.'


No one left to pray. Everyone stood by the stage and waited, as the band paused its music while a nearby mosque began the call to prayer from a loudspeaker. Then the music resumed."

The prayer time bit sort of reminded me of when we used to have rock bands at Baptits(1) youth meetings. Except they would have made us actually pray.

In other news Sebastian Bach, Lita Ford and Quiet Riot announced a tour of the Middle East, as soon as Lita and Sebastian find a burka that fits.

(1)Started out as a typo, then I decided I liked it. From now on all Baptists will be called Baptits.

The Becks invited to see Suri Cruise

Is there any wonder that I hate him so?

Victoria Beckham's Suri invite - Showbiz News - Life Style Extra: "A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: 'David and Victoria are honoured that Tom and Katie have asked them along.

'However they were a little shocked by the list of rules they'll have to follow.

'Apparently they can't take any photographic equipment, they're banned from touching Suri and they're not allowed to do any baby-talk around her."

Yeah, come see our baby, but don't get your cooties on it! And don't talk to it either, we don't want our precious little mutant to pick up any of that London gutter trash you speak. Little Suri's first words might be some of that slang you chav scum talk.

Hillary's Boobs

This is something I never thought, or wanted, to see.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A "Presidential Bust" of U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton was unveiled on Wednesday at New York's Museum of Sex, where sculptor Daniel Edwards hopes it will spark discussion about sex, politics and celebrity.

Edwards, the artist who also created a life-size nude of Britney Spears giving birth on a bear-skin rug, said he wanted to capture Clinton's age and femininity in the sculpture.

If you really wanted to capture her age shouldn't the boobs be more droopy? I get the feeling this guy has never really seen boobies.

Mr. and Mrs. Navarro no more

I'm trying to think of why I care about this....oh, wait, I don't. Well I liked his cd Rexall.

My Way News - Electra Files for Divorce From Navarro

Her real name is Tara Patrick? Isn't that a porn star? That's like something you'd change your name to, not from.

We're number one! We're number one!

If you search for "Famous actresses who like foreskins." on google, without the quotes, then this site is the number one result!

Famous actresses who like foreskins. - Google Search


Good job everyone! You've made all my dreams come true.

That was sarcasm.

This has to stop

As if Flavor of Love wasn't enough. I mean, isn't that basically an audition for who get's to have sex with Flava Flav?

But now they're having auditons for Flavorette of Love.

If you are a single man between the ages of 21-35, open to dating all
ethnicities and think you can put up with a top shelf Diva, then we want
to hear from you. If you have what it takes to stick out of a crowd of
other competing men, then we want to hear from you. If you are just
looking for love and are sick of being single then we want to hear from
you. Are you up to the challenge? Send us a pic, short bio and contact
info.

Auditions will be held in the following cities:
NY/LA/Houston/Atlanta/Chicago/St. Louis/Baltimore/DC

So if you're desperate and stupid...and a good looking male who can provide a lot of drama on tv, then you can sign up here.

Updates and crap....just crap

World War Three getting you down? Just ignore it and zone out with celeb gossip.

Jeez...I'll probably go to hell for peddling this crap. Whatever. At least I'll know people there.

Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan broke up because of the paparazzi...actually I heard it was because she was bogarting all his coke.

Puffy Daddy or Piddly or Pugsley or whatever his name is claims to be the king of sexy. He may sue Justin Timberlake.


Malaysia has accused the Pussycat Dolls of performing sexually suggestive dances on stage. Well, duh. Then they accused water of being wet.


From the "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" file, the idiots in Hollywood are remaking "Working Girl" and have offered the main role to Jessica Simpson.

Robin Williams is drunk

Robin Williams Battles Bottle - Yahoo! News: "In response, the Oscar-winning actor is taking 'proactive measures to deal with this for his own well-being and the well-being of his family,' publicist Mara Buxbaum said Wednesday.

Williams, 54, began drinking again 'after 20 years of sobriety,' Buxbaum said."

Come on, you can't be saying that he's been sober all this time? He had to have been doing drugs when he was doing that blue genie movie.

Hilary Duff and her pet

Nice marmot!

Jessica Biel has a really long tongue

If it's real it's about the size of Gene Simmon's.

Paris Hilton Kitty

Someone needs to buy one of these and have it sent to me. I want the doll. I have some Hello Kitty vibrators, so this would complete my set.

Mick Mars and Modest Mouse?

Reports are coming in that Mick Mars, former guitarist for Motely Crue, will be joining sort of indie "rockers" Modest Mouse.

Could be a hoax, but that's what this guy says.

Update: not a hoax, just wrong.

Greycat sez.
It's fucking JOHNNY MARR, from The The, Electronic and other assorted bands, but most notably the other half of one of the most amazing bands to ever write songs, the Smiths, who will be joining Modest Mouse. Does this guy just hear the name "marr" and automatically assume it's some retard from a shitty band?

Guess the butt!

These butts belong to two reasonably famous actresses. Can you guess who they are? Click for really big picture.

Roundup of things that don't really matter.

Janet Jackson poses topless on the cover of Vibe. Who hasn't seen that ugly wrinkled nipple by now? If you haven't seen it you can get it on ebay. Or at least thats the ad I got when I searched for it on google.

Janet Jackson Nipple
Whatever you're looking for
you can get it on eBay.
www.eBay.com

It seems the Hollywood elite have chosen sides on Mel Gibson. Skins vs. foreskins it looks like.


Fred Savage had a baby. Well, he didn't have it, but some woman he presumably had sex with did. No, Winnie isn't the mother. Let's hope they name it something sensible. I'm thinking Bonanza Savage.

German scientists have invented an "anti-stupid" pill. Let's see who can be the first to slip it in Paris Hiltion's champagne.


Cops found a stolen donut truck, really, really, fast.

Tom Cruise sucks

Which is something I've known for a long time. Now everyone else is starting to realize it.

The 44-year-old actor is eager to get back to work to put behind him disappointments such as Mission Impossible: III, but last week his 13-year deal with the Paramount studio was allowed to lapse. Executives say Cruise faces a “financial adjustment and reality check” before he can continue his illustrious career.

That's right, World, I'm 5 years ahead of you, yet again.

Pink PP

I'm not sure when these pics were taken. I'd say it was from before she "made it". You can tell it's Pink from the wrist tatoo.

Let this be a warning to you ladies. If you become famous people take pictures of you pissing.

It's the end of the world!

Paris Hilton gave up sex!



Although it may just be that she thinks the word 'celibate' is the name of some new religion. Maybe she mispronounced 'kabbalah'.

Joe Pesic: Hiphop King

Joe has done a rap video. It's the bitches that getya.





Did he just say he killed two girls and left them floating in a pond?

It came from Kontraband originally, looks like.

New Game: Guess that drug!

Here's a new game I'm starting for the site. The winner will get a free t-shirt.*

Our constestant is the young Mrs. Britney Spears-Federline. Watch this video and guess what drug she's on!


Here's my guess.

It's beer and xanax or klonipin or something. You can tell it's beer from the burping. And living in Alabama, and knowing this kind of over-privileged redneck chick, I know what drugs they do these days. Every chick like that is on some sort of anti-depressant Zoloft or Paxil. Then they supplement that with oxycontin, lorcet or xanax, valium. But, if it was a painkiller then her jaw wouldn't hurt.

She probably just took a xanabar and about 3 beers. Anymore beer than that with the xanax and she wouldn't be vertical.

Could have been pot and beer, too.
















*{The t-shirts haven't actually been printed yet so you'll have to wait an indefinate amount of time to recieve one. But if and when the t-shirts get made, you'll get a free one.}

Mandy Moore

Here's Mandy looking like a poor, lesbian, college student. Check out them highwaters.

Rob Schneider takes on Mel Gibson.

That idiot really likes taking out full page ads in Variety. Here's the latest.


Dear Rob,

You're an idiot.

Thanks,

Maxwell Hammer

p.s. Please stop making those stupid damn movies.

Condi, Condi, Condi

Condoleeza Rice just before she lept on a reporter from the New York Times and ate his liver.




Evil lookin' bitch ain't she?

Oh, how times have changed

Yesterday Victoria Beckham ditched the tacky weaves. Well, today they're back. Tackier than ever. Before they at least looked like real hair. Now they look like they're made out of rayon.

Lemon Lime Windows

I usually don't do tech news here, but this is so astoundinly lame I had to put it up.

Microsoft has a Windows Vista soft drink available for employees.

Special-edition cans of Talking Rain sparkling water, sporting the logo for the upcoming operating system, have been stocked among the other free sodas available to the company's employees. It's a promotion for the preliminary version of the program, pointing employees to an internal Windows Vista site.

"Talking Rain" is also dumb. Does the soda talk?

J-Lo too good for Dallas

Jenny from the block has quit the movie remake of Dallas.

The Enough star has pulled out of the now slightly less star-studded big screen remake of the '80s TV hit, with nary an explanation regarding her departure.

"She is out of Dallas," Lopez's publicist, Leslie Sloane-Zelnick, said Thursday, denying reports that her client's exit was abrupt but declining to shed light on her decision to cut and run.

Please movie people just admit that you have run out of ideas. Why else would you be making movie versions of 80's tv shows?

Paris Hilton Sez

"Who's Tony Blair?"

Yes, Paris, we would all like to know that.

The hotel heiress said she would not recognise the British Prime Minister. Asked by GQ magazine if she fancied Tony Blair, a confused Hilton replied: "Who?"

After giving it some thought she said: "Oh yeah... he's like your president?" Then she admitted: "I don't know what he looks like."

But she did agree to have sex with him as soon as she get's to the "B" section of the London phone book.

Lindsay Lohan Boxing in a Bikini

Does she even have any other clothes? Every day there are new pics of her skinny freckled ass in a different bikini.

She's getting into shape so she can beat down Paris Hilton.

Marie Osmond Suicide Attempt

She says it was just a bad reaction.

Marie Osmond was hospitalized for a bad reaction to medication, a spokeswoman said Wednesday, denying reports that the singer had attempted suicide.


"She basically had an adverse reaction to some medication she was taking and she blacked out," spokeswoman Amy Hawkes said.

Remember, people, if they have to deny it, you can be sure it's true.

Quickies...

Don Johnson says, 'You tell Colin Farrell when he's through with my jock strap to give it back.'"

Victoria Beckham ditched the weave.


Shannen Doherty attempts to start a beef with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.

One of the crazy chicks on The View suggests Mel Gibson do penance by having a public circumcision. She just wants to see his johnson.

Are you a big slut?

Then you need to be in the Pussycat Dolls!

The soon-to-launch CW network has ordered eight episodes of the reality competition The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll, pitting wannabes against each other for the chance to be named the seventh member of the "Don't Cha" pop group.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be like a reality show version of Spice World?

Brigette Nielsen and Gwen Stefani

Seperated at birth?

Christina Aguilera is an Exhibitionist

Ok, most celebs are. But she's really got a fetish. First she's wearing see-through outfits. Now it comes out that she likes to have sex in public places.

Washington, August 1: They may have been married for almost a year now, but pop singer Christina Aguilera said that she and her hubby have been on their honeymoon ever since they tied the knot, revealing that they love having ‘sex’ in public places.

The mushy lovers most recently made out at a celebrity spot in London, but Aguilera refused to reveal the name of the place where the couple gave in to their sexual desire.

Raul Castro Gay?

Sources tell me that Castro's little brother, the one who's in charge now, is gay. Apparently it's one of those open secrets that only gay people know.

Also, I'm told that George Clooney is also gay.

Contact Celebrities

Did you know you can contact any celebrity for only a dollar?

So I encourage all of you to send pictures of your penis/vagina or someone else's to Paris Hilton and see what she thinks about it. She's an expert on these things.

Or mail Nicole Richey a sammich.

Or send Nich Lachey a life. And tell him to stop doing that stupid commercial.

It's Alive!

It's Courtney love.

Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Don't be a rock star. It's really bad for you. Be a drug dealer...they live longer.

Tori Spelling loves Porn

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Avril's Honeymoon Pics

Here's her hubby just before he pissed on her foot because she got stung by a jellyfish.
Is that Britney and K-fed? No! It's Avril and her white trash soon to be babydaddy.
And then she takes pics of herself and her Sk8terboi.



Click images for closeups.

Yet another "rocker" sells out to Jesus

Why does this always happen? When did the gods of metal forsake us? When I was a kid and in church they used to tell us how Alice Cooper was posessed by the soul of a woman burned as a witch. If we listened to him we would burn in hell.

Now he's a christian, himself.

"Kids love boundaries. We used to fight against them. But in all reality, what we really did want was to know where we could go. Of course, you always step over the line just a little bit to see what's going to happen," said the 58-year-old rocker, known for his ghoulish makeup and hits such as 1975's "Welcome to My Nightmare."

Cooper said his Christian, nonprofit Solid Rock Foundation has begun fundraising efforts for a 20,000-square-foot teen activity center to be called The Rock, to be built at Grand Canyon University in West Phoenix.

Boy George

Maybe he should change his name to "Old Man George".

He has been sentenced to community service.

Born George O'Dowd, the 45-year-old singer has struggled with drug problems for years. He was ordered to do community service after pleading guilty in March to false reporting of an incident. He called police with a bogus report of a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment in October, and the responding officers found cocaine inside.

Ok, let's put this down as yet another thing everyone knows. When you're paranoid from staying up all night doing coke, don't call the police! No matter how much you want to. Even if J Edgar Hoover is outside in a dress and he's eating garbage out of your cans. Never call the cops!